I bought myself a blanket yesterday

katethegreat · Post by **katethegreat** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 8:11 am

A few months ago I was observing a friend of mine and thought, "Wow... everything she owns is soft and snuggly!"

And then I noticed that I have nothing soft and snuggly at all. I buy things for their cheapness and usefulness when I buy anything, and so I sleep on rough bedding and hard, flat pillows. What struck me as odd was that I had never even noticed this before. It had never even occurred to me to think that I might deserve to have soft snuggly things.

So yesterday I went to Kmart and bought a fuzzy grey blanket. It is indeed soft and snuggly, and damn it feels good.

I noticed, while poking about here, that other siers have difficulty allowing themselves tactile pleasure-- I don't allow myself to have comfortable things, I don't like to be hugged or touched (not even by my own mother!), I don't wash my hair with anything but bar soap, etc.

I have also noticed that it's harder to injure myself now that I'm discovering this strange new mindset of "I should take care of myself. You know, and maybe put some antibiotic cream and a band-aid on that, cause it looks kinda bad."

Maybe this has to do with the fact that many of us were abused or neglected growing up? I know I certainly was, so perhaps I'm only now undoing a good two decades of conditioning.

It's almost like a revolution in my head: "What's this? I can buy a soft snuggly thing for myself.... and it feels good?"

mallie · Post by **mallie** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 4:39 pm

Firstly, Welcome to BUS

I think it is utterly fantastic that you've discovered this, and are using that to comfort yourself. Good on you, and thank you so much for posting this. It sounds like an interesting theory. That its hard to look after yourself, and allow yourself pleasures when you were denied that growing up.

Doesn't fit me though. I love soft, snuggly things, and latch on to them at almost every opportunity. I have a big green fuzzy blanket, that is far too hot for summer, but I'm so looking forward to it getting colder so I can get it out again. I have teddy bears and soft toys, that I can snuggle and that are nice to touch. I actually bought a baby's rattle at one point, its shaped like a little lamb, and has plastic inside, and a strap that goes around a wrist, which i bought because it was the softest furry material I'd ever felt. It lives in my satchel now, so I have it with me if I want something comforting such as on the way home from T appointments. And its small enough that I can tuck it in my pocket and stroke it, and that is really soothing. I like big jumpers (sweaters ?) that are made of soft or furry material. I find that sort of thing really really lovely.

I'd love to see what other people think about your theory, because it definately does sound plausible to me.

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:23 pm

nearly always i buy things as cheap as i possibly can. with food it's a... not terribly good habit. i'll buy stuff because it's cheap... even if i don't like it.
& with clothes... if it's between 2 things i always go for the cheapest.
the only 'nice' things i have are things that have been given to me. (except my kitties. i found them all by myself

)
for me too... it's been fairly recently... that i've allowed myself to find nice things... & get them. that maybe it's really ok to pay a bit more for soap that smells pretty. maybe it's ok to buy cute underwear even if it's not on sale. granted not always. sometimes it's necessary to get cheaper things. i guess the trick is learning to get cheap things when it doesn't really matter... & spend a bit more when it'd make you happy... not an 'either/or' thing...

on a kinda related note... i was noticing the other day... that the things i have that are always ok for me to touch & notice(i have much trouble with physical sensations sometimes/often)... are things that were given to me... 3 things(from 2 different people). (well + kitties) 2 of the things aren't even fuzzy or soft or anything... they just feel.... safe? or something. was just kinda a 'hmm interesting' thing i thought.

arianwen1174 · Post by **arianwen1174** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 6:47 am

Good for you, Kate!!! I'd be lost without my snuggly fleece blankets and my teddy bear. Things like this can make such a difference. I'm so glad you decided to spend the money on yourself.

save_me_from_myself · Post by **save_me_from_myself** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 12:58 pm

well done you! this sounds like a great idea
after looking around my room ive discovered i have no soft things. everythings like stiff material. so . . . ( u can tell whats coming

)
im going to go into town and buy something soft and snuggly!!!
heehee. thanks for the brilliant idea!
xx

katethegreat · Post by **katethegreat** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 6:29 pm

I suppose it would make sense, then, that everyone reacts differently to be being raised in the same situations, though it does seem that there are a lot of people here like me and plantt. I think it's fascinating though, because I'm only just beginning to see how self-injury isn't something I just randomly started doing one day nor something I can just randomly stop doing whenever I want-- it's part of an entire web of very firmly entrenched ways of thinking. Or something.

And props to you, smfm! Join the Snuggly Things Revolution! I'm delighted that you found this helpful.

Man... y'all are so awesome. I think I'm going to like to it here.

balletomane · Post by **balletomane** » Sat Apr 23, 2005 8:27 pm

i do have some soft things. i actually have two soft blankets on my bed. but i don't really like or perhaps appreciate them? i never really stop to feel them or think about it. i do have a teddy bear that i really like, but he isn't all that soft anymore. i guess it's more of a childhood memory sort of thing than a tactile thing.

i do buy clothing that is soft and nice. not if it is very expensive though. i do admit that i walk around stores and just touch things of different materials. it is sort of strange, i know. so, yeah. i guess i'm somewhere in between. i do allow myself tactile pleasure but to a very limited extent.

Tamrick · Post by **Tamrick** » Sun Apr 24, 2005 3:42 pm

Soft things are great - and its good you noticed about the tactile sense. I found I could calm myself down by feeling things sometimes - even if it was just a blade of grass or a leaf. What also sometimes helps is to feel things that are so entirely different - hard and cold (a wet mirror, or a cold metal spoon) and then something soft and warm - a nice jersey, your blanket and so on.

Its great you bought yourself a blanket - you deserve to be nice to yourself - do it often.

cb_47 · Post by **cb_47** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 10:25 pm

I haven't deprived myself of soft and cuddly things, but I do notice the other side you mentioned--it has a very calming effect. I'm an extremely tactile person (I've been known to stroke textured wallpaper), so the feel of something nice is... very important to me. My personal weakness, outside of my very soft kitty, is pajamas. My parents gave me a great pair of penguin pjs for Christmas time, and I wear them whenever I'm having a bad day. They make me feel... taken care of.

ladymorgaine · Post by **ladymorgaine** » Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:45 pm

I adore snuggly things! I have tons of blankets and flannel sheets and flannel pajamas.... I think its great that you bought yourself something nice and cuddly!

kurdt_kobain · Post by **kurdt_kobain** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 1:32 am

When i get upset, I don't want to have soft, snuggly things. I have a few--a feather pillow (currently left at a friends house

), my dollie Annie Lee and my teddy bear Alejandro that my boyfriend gave to me.

But when I get into a crying fit and I hate everything and the world (Not happening much anymore!) I end up tossing and kicking everything off my bed and just holding myself in the fetal position and sobbing on my mattress.

So I can sort of relate.

On another note, your post made me smile. So cool. I'm glad you can discover things that make you happy--I've recently been doing the same, but in other ways. For example, E-mailing an old friend and getting a message back or really working in a debate round and winning. It's simple things that I've never done before that I've realized really make me just smile.

Thank you for posting. You've made my day. I really hope to see you around a lot more.

Koru · Post by **Koru** » Wed Apr 27, 2005 12:02 pm

I am a very tactile person (although i still tend to buy things as cheaply as possible

) I have a lovely snuggly duvet and I like soft 'strokeable' clothes (suede, velvet, brushed cotton, fleece etc).

I am now starting to try to change my priorites when I spend money and spend less on things like snack food and drinks out and buying lots of cheap stuff that I don't really need and spend more of it on buying better quality versions of the things I really care about (certain items of clothing that I know I will wear a lot) and I will only use biodegradable, good for the environment soap, shampoo, washing powder etc or fairtrade coffee, tea, chocolate etc even though it costs more I feel like I'm doing something good.

I guess I might be better at treating myself nicely because I didn't have th same kind of harsh childhood that was mentioned.

I'm definately with the idea that snuggly things are nice!

Koru

nika · Post by **nika** » Thu Apr 28, 2005 3:29 am

I might deserve to have soft snuggly things.

Of course you do.

It's so awesome that you bought yourself a cuddly blanket.

Personally, I love cuddly things. I sleep with a security blanket, teddy bear, and stuffed doll every night (and I am a freshman in college

) ... so I think snuggly things are great, and I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying your blanket.

I bought myself a blanket yesterday

I bought myself a blanket yesterday

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