I don't feel anything

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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marylou
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I don't feel anything

Post by marylou » Sat Nov 27, 2004 11:00 pm

Okay, I'll admit I'm a pretty sensitive person and can be a bit of a drama queen, but I'm really worried.
Normally I feel emotions all the time, it's as natural as breathing for me to feel something, good or bad. BUt today I don't feel anything.
I don't feel good or bad. Nothing.
And then I tried SH to see what happened and I didn't feel anything.
I didn't feel bad or worse.
I didn't feel good or better.
I felt, I FEEL, nothing.

What do I do?
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."

plantt
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Post by plantt » Sun Nov 28, 2004 10:48 pm

you notice it. :)
it's not something you can really 'force' to happen.
you say 'hmm it's disturbing me a bit that i don't feel anything. it's kinda weird' & go on about your day...
if you have a therapist or something you might mention it to them.
it won't be like that forever... & i know it can be upsetting when it happens...
take care :grnstar:

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talkingtomyself
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ive felt it b4

Post by talkingtomyself » Mon Nov 29, 2004 12:39 am

ikno how u feel kinda numb....but like plantt said....u just kinda go on woth your day.....dont dwell on it..eventually youll feel something!!!! and mayb next time u will find a different way to feel other than SH??? well take care good care!! :)
:star: :star: :star:
"Ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out...I wish I knew."

3 years SI free :smile:
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limestone
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Re: I don't feel anything

Post by limestone » Mon Nov 29, 2004 10:13 am

marylou wrote:
What do I do?
what do you want to do?

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marylou
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Post by marylou » Mon Nov 29, 2004 5:17 pm

I want to SH, to help me feel again. To feel anything! Pain would be better than this spaced out nothingness!!!

What I really want is to snap out of this and to be normal.
This life sucks. I'm tired of it.
I want to be happy again. Innocently happy and contented.
But no. I am feeling nothing and I SH to try and fix it.

This isn't how life is supposed to be!!! :x


ps. I'm not ranting at you Lime, I'm just ranting. Don't take it personally.
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."

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Post by plantt » Mon Nov 29, 2004 7:00 pm

but sh hasn't been working.
& do you really want to keep sh in your life?
it's not possible to 'snap out of it' it takes time. & a lot of really hard work... doing things you never thought possible. things you said you'd never do.
& eventually... things change.

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limestone
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Post by limestone » Mon Nov 29, 2004 9:03 pm

marylou wrote: I want to SH, to help me feel again. To feel anything! Pain would be better than this spaced out nothingness!!!
have you tried holding an ice cube or put it on your wrist - it hurts and can make you feel again - like feeling connected. it works for me.
marylou wrote: I want to be happy again. Innocently happy and contented.
hey, I can relate to that. can I ask a personal question? (btw, you don't have to answer if you don't want to) are you afraid of the future i.e. what you have to do, be, places you might have to go to? Whats making you feel unhappy?

I liked what Plantt said - she makes a lot of sense :star:

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marylou
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Post by marylou » Sun Dec 05, 2004 7:05 pm

Hey. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I haven't been able to be alone and online for a while.

In response to your question: YES and NO

Like what to do with my life and stuff that doesn't scare me. Not knowing is okay, coz for me I know God is in control of that and it's not my problem.
But I also know that just coz God is in control, doesn't mean the road will be easy and that scares me. I'm scared:
:star: I will never give up SH.
:star: I'm going to be alone in my life.
:star: Whoever I trust will break it.
:star: Whoever I rely on will walk away.

I know that most people are "good" people and are trying hard, but it's from painful personal experience that the fears arise. Like trust. I'm pertrified of getting my trust broken. I want to go back to an age where it doesn't happen to me and if it does I don't remember it and I keep trusting, loving with no bitterness.
"You loosen my chains and just ask me to trust you. But it's so much easier this way, even though I know that I am bound."

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not alone

Post by badgirl22 » Mon Dec 06, 2004 8:50 am

problem with me is I was feeling that way last week..u know the numb kind..like u discribed. But for me it made me want to shut down..like just not talk, not do anything..just distract and not talk to anyone about anything. I just shut down in my T.'s office and he took that to be a sign of SU...grrr. I wasn't su at all.. So my point is don't let the numbness make you not able to talk. Because talking will get you out of your shit eventually...I dono if I really believe that but I have hope that that will happen...I guess that is what T> is right???? Anyway, sometimes to get me out of the numbness I do things that I really enjoy or I push myself to do excersise to feel or I get myself to watch a funny movie or something that will push me to feel...something..u know??I hope that helps a bit.
I do understand where u are comming from though..and u arn't alone. Just know that.
-badgirl22

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