Dealing with scars and feelings of failure

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Zebraseal
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Dealing with scars and feelings of failure

Post by Zebraseal » Mon Nov 15, 2004 11:02 pm

Since I suck at giving any advice in any specific threads, here's my two cents. Enjoy it, that's all I'm gonna give. :-)


So I was in the shower the other day, and saw my scars, and immediately started feeling regretful, and like I was the stupidest creature on earth to have done that to myself, and like I was stained for life, or at least until they heal completely, which I'm sure most of you know takes quite some time. Not a very constructive series of thoughts, because that leads me to thinking how nothing matters any more, and there you go.

So I started thinking about the positive side: How much of my skin is actually unscarred. It's not like I deny that the bad things exist; the scars are still there, and i have some issues to solve. It's just that I was born beautiful and in a way perfect, or as perfect as human beings go, anyway. (My philosophy in life is that we are, indeed, perfect all the time, just because nothing is perfect anyway, if that makes any sense--it sure does to me.) And there's no way that perfection can be taken from me, by any mistake that I might make.

If this helps anybody, then go on, and when you're feeling sad and down and all triggered, think about the thins that are pure and beautiful about you. Now, things that you've accomplished don't count, no matter how good you're in school or what wonderful poems you've written or how you cleaned your room today. This is about how you're naturally good and worth all the good things in the world. At least to me, a high achiever and perfectionist, the only things that truly calm me down are the ones I haven't had to do anything about.

Good stuff that is essentially in me without me doing anything:

:star: Most of my skin is unscarred.
:star: I'm a human being and so I want and deserve to be loved.
:star: I have my own thoughts and my own mind, with which I can do amazing things.
:star: I have hopes and plans for the future.
:star: I'm physically quite healthy, as in that all the things inside me work just about like they should.



Sheesh, this is harder than I thought.

Anyhow, feel free to add your own, but remember! This is not a list for anything that you have DONE something about, and nothing that you could by any means lose. No school success, friends, having done something on your to-do list, not even being SI free for a while. Just YOU.
Without SI since Nov 6, 2004.


Sleep. Wake up.

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Bathelina
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Post by Bathelina » Tue Nov 16, 2004 4:53 pm

Wow, that post was amazing. I often feel like that and blame myself for making mistakes. But your post helped me to realise that scars don't mean anything and I'm still as perfect as I was when I was born all that time ago. Thankyou so much for helping me find my self-esteem :)
Love Hannah :)
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Space_Man
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Post by Space_Man » Tue Nov 16, 2004 8:58 pm

Zebraseal: I don’t know you’re your religious leanings are, but—as an aside to some of the concepts you touched-upon within your post—you ought to drop-in and contribute to this discussion as well:

http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=37576
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Zebraseal
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Post by Zebraseal » Wed Nov 17, 2004 9:46 pm

HannahB123, glad to hear it helped somebody.

Space_Man, I don't think I have much to add to that thread you poited to. :roll: I'm not religious at all, even if I find I'm increasingly spiritual. Anyhow, sin is not something I have an opinion on... But the thread is interesing, so thank you for pointing that out for me.
Without SI since Nov 6, 2004.


Sleep. Wake up.

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