how are you going to deal with....

[limestone]

In the list of stickies there is a thread for a plan to how to deal with if you're triggered whilst reading here.

What's going to be your plan for dealing with

stress at work/school/college/uni
at home when unwelcomed comments are thrown your way
bad drivers
when you want to hurt yourself

Is there any other situations where you want to plan for?

Does planning help do you think before you get into situations?

[Lyndsie]

I think that planning does help me, before i get into the situation. Like for example school, I'm already planning for that. And i do find that helpful. Also I plan for way to avoid self-harm well at school, or whatever and that helps. This helps. It lets me think.

[tenar]

i need this. starting uni very soon and am already having to gear myself for the inevitable si fight when i get there.

i find that planning as such doesn't really help, but having a pattern of behaviour really does. doing one routine (e.g. hiding in room and listening to music) rather than the other (cutting) and making that change of routine conscious. but i have to find what works before i can plan, if you see what i mean. and again its not so much planning as getting used to doing the alternative, so it becomes automatic.


anyway, here's a start

uni (and pre uni preperations
- if something specific is stressing me (e.g. work/not having packed)?then work at solving that situation - writing the essay, doing the reading etc. even if this means i have to ask for help. and if its not something i can handle immediately (ie. its 3am and i'm too exhausted to do it) then drink hot milk, go to sleep and face it in the morning rather than making a half assed job now.
- if its something more intangible, call/text someone/go on bus/msn. listen to music and make sure you don't isolate yourself. because you need to make friends tenar, you hear?

home
- remind myself that the speaker is human and has their own motives (jealousy, fatigue, illness or whatever) for saying what they did
- state my case, defend myself (if this won't further inflame the situation and i'm not being totally irrational)
- go to my room so i don't take myself out on my family, listen to pissed off music and use my place/journal to have a whinge

bad drivers
- as a cyclist/pedestrian i tend not to be around bad drivers for long. muttering f*cking c*nt at anyone who swerves into the cycle lane or doesn't stop at zebra crossings tends to relieve my feelings. that and the smug satisfaction that i am saving the world and they aren't. ha!

wanting to hurt myself
- distance myself from tools and additional triggers (such as certain albums)
- distract myself on bus/msn/phone if i can. if i can't, go curl up and wait for it to pass.
- music

not doing as well as i expected at something
- i need ideas on this one. only one i have so far is go prepare so that next time i attempt it i succeed.

meeting people, making new friends
- remind myself i did this 2 years ago perfectly well
- remind myself that they are all as scared as me
- talk, listen. don't rant, don't go silent. oh it sounds so easy.

xxx

[sassy koala]

I tend to get really nervous and out of sorts going into situations where I don't know hardly anyone. Usually, if that's the case, I've learned to tell my husband how uncomfy I am and ask him to stay close and not abandon me. (we learned that one the hard way).
Other situations, stress in life.... I tend to eat. But, I'm trying to focus mysel f more on typing out my feelings in my livejournal or making feeble attempts to get to the gym.
sk

[Bathelina]

Is there any other situations where you want to plan for?
Does planning help do you think before you get into situations?

Is there any other situations where you want to plan for?
When I get worked up; I get ticked off really easily and I go mad and I can't control what I say or think or do. Not nice me...

Does planning help do you think before you get into situations?
Yes, it does!

Hannah Good questions!

[Territorial Hawk]

stress at work/school/college/uni

I'll play my Xbox, it works as a stress reliever for work and uni.

at home when unwelcomed comments are thrown your way

I'll ignore it - just nod and smile and then ignore what they've said.

bad drivers

I'll turn the CD player up, mutter "bloody *insert driver type* and ignore them.

when you want to hurt yourself

I'll write down why I want to hurt myself, and hopefully by the time I've finished that, I won't want to anymore.

[awkward-shark]

stress at work/school/college/uni
Get the work done. But if the stress' too much I rather zone out. I skip classes (it's not good, but sometimes it helps). I meet up with friends. When the overwhelming feelings have passed, then I get work done. I start from the more urgent work. Sometimes, if I have enough time, I write down everything I'll do and in the order I'll do it. That helps a lot.

at home when unwelcomed comments are thrown your way
I'm lucky to say, unwelcomed comments are rarely thrown my way, but when it happens, I usually say "so what? that's just the way I am!".

bad drivers
I don't drive, I'm more of a walker, biker and I take the bus quite often. But I just laugh at how stupid they are.

when you want to hurt yourself
Calm down, write my feelings down, and remember how bad I'll feel afterwards.