coping with the death of a parent (replies welcome)

[blink182]

ok so its coming up 2 my mums death anniversary on the 19th september....its like the past couple of days ive been thinkin bout her alot....sometimes 2 the point where i get upset but i just dont know what 2 do




x blink x

[Arcadia]

I can't relate on that deep a level, but I've lost both my grandfathers,to cancer and heart disease respectively and wanted to extend my sympathy. I still miss them and I hope you're ok.

[limestone]

its like the past couple of days ive been thinkin bout her alot....sometimes 2 the point where i get upset but i just dont know what 2 do x blink x

hi

I was listening to a radio prog. last night and they mentioned coping with death etc. The host said to let yourself feel the pain you're in, i.e. admit to yourself you're in pain. She said that works more than trying to push it away through things like alcohol etc. I know that this might not fit your post etc, but I wondered if it would as you mentioned about being upset and not knowing what to do. How have you coped with this in the past?

take care

[blink182]

by not tellin any1 cos i didnt want them 2 kno that i wasnt coping






x blink x

[Black Dahlia]

Hi Blink.

I was going to write an almost identical post to yours and put it on the main board.

Im 31 and I lost my Dad - it will be five years on September 2nd. I feel rough about it for a couple of months around the anniversary every year. Does anyone have any ideas/ experiences about dealing with it better?

BD x

[blink182]

maybe u could try writing down how u feel...or tellin a close friend how u feel?





x blink x

[soulstory]

I lost my dad a little over a year ago. The anniversary was difficult and I also don't let-on to my mom and brothers that I'm struggling because I want to be there for them. This year, I volunteered to help a friend with her new camp for adolescents beginning on the 1-year anniversary of dad's death. It helped me to be distracted and to feel like I was doing something positive in the wake of feeling so negative. I felt like I honored him by doing what I did... and I honored myself by not SI'ing.

Maybe you could do something special for your mom on the anniversary. You don't have to do volunteer work to honor her. Even if you simply make an extra point of taking good care of yourself on that day, it would be honoring to her as moms always want us to care for ourselves.

Take care.
Catherine

[Taylah's tears of turmoil]

hey i spoke to you briefly. I'm sorry to hear about your mum. I can relate to how you feel. Keep smiling

[KT2437]

Hey Blink

I'm 17 and my dad died five years ago. Sometimes I think about my dad and I get really upset. What i do to feel better is look at pictures of him when he was alive. Looking at pictures helps me to remember all of the wonderful times I had with him when he was alive. Just remember, it is natural to feel upset. The hurt never does truly go away. Never feel ashamed for your feelings. Do you have any other family members you could talk to about your feelings?
If you do, maybe it would help you if you talked to them.

take care,
katie

[badgirl22]

Blink,
I am so glad you posted this. My mother died of breast cancer when I was 14 and I am 26 now and I still don't know how to deal with the anaversary of her death. I don't know how to deal with her death at all..I am trying to deal with this in theropy because I have held feelings in for so long I burst when I don't want too. I know the hurt never goes away but hopefully after time and lots and lots and lots of thought you might come to a positive reason why this happened? Someone tonight told me that maybe a tradigity could turn into some sort of happiness or atleast some sort of state where you arn't so sad so much anymore..like maybe by the tradigity happening you went a certain way and ultimatly your life because better because of it??I don't truly understand it myself but I do know what you are going threw cause I go threw it everyday. I just wanted to let you know you arn't alone. I wish I had a concreate answer for you and for me too.
Thinking about you.
-Badgirl22

[Brokenwings11]

I lost my grandfather when I was 4, and I lost one of the closest people to me when I was 7, so I'm really sorry. But I don't think your mum would want you to be unhappy so try and be happy for her sake, k? Hope things turn out okay. ((huggle))

[Bathelina]

I'm so sorry... I hope you're alright

Lots of love and good wishes and support,
Hannah

[Autobot Headline]

I lost my dad when I was 13 (25 now). And it's true that the sadness never does go away completely when you lose someone you love so much.

I think a lot of my problem for many years was trying to convince myself that the sadness "should" go away. If you allow yourself to feel sadness, allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself to reach out to someone you trust and ask for comfort, then of course it will still be hard... but it will be a little less hard because you will be allowing yourself to be honest with yourself.

It is OK to hurt.
((hug if OK))