Coming out about SI, yet being turned away

[Greybon]

I’m new to this forum so I don’t know if this is something that is already here or not. I can’t find it in any event. Anyway, I’ve recently come out to a few people about the SI. And yes, two people have been receptive to helping me, talking to me, all that jazz. But the rest have not been. Instead I feel them pulling away from me. Here I finally reach out for help and I’m getting the vibes of not being worth it in their eyes to want to accept my reaching out, and of course that doesn’t exactly help with what I am going through. I’m just at a loss and I don’t know what to do. I’ve actually never felt so alone and now I’m wondering if I should never have said anything.

Any ideas? How have any of you that have come out about it, dealt with the after stuff?

[Laura]

Hiya and welcome.

I'm sorry that some of your friends reacted badly when you told them about your SI. It takes a lot of courage to "come out"... and then your find you have their reaction to deal with on top of your existing problems.

I haven't had anyone react too badly - well not friends anyway, only family members It helped to emphasise that "I am just the same Laura that I was five minutes ago before I told you: you don't have to treat me any differently".

It's good that a couple of your friends are being supportive, that's very important. The ones who are pulling away - could it be that they simply don't feel up to talking about heavy stuff? Perhaps if you made it clear that you still value them as friends and aren't necessarily expecting them to handle all the difficult stuff. Being specific about how you'd like them to help you is good, too.

Some people find it helps to give out leaflets about SI - try Deb's site http://www.selfharm.net for that.

Do the friends who have taken it well know the ones who haven't? Maybe they could have a word with them for you.

I do hope your friends come to terms with it and can remain your friends. Support is good to have.
Take care
Love Laura

[plantt]

just curious... in what specific ways have people pulled away? just wondering if maybe part is that they're not responding how you'd ideally have wanted them to... &/or that you expect them to... so it seems like it?

would it help maybe to address it directly? as Laura said... point out that them knowing doesn't change who you are. & mention that it feels like they're pulling away.
maybe mention some specific ways that you'd like them to react.

good luck

[Greybon]

Thanks, Laura. I really appreciate it. I’ll have to check that link out. I am grateful that I have the friends I have who are being supportive and yes, maybe I should have one of them talk to the others.

Family members. Yeah, sheesh. Haven’t told them yet, except my brother, who did take it ok.

Hi Plantt, they pulled away by ignoring normal e-mails we would exchange, not about this, but about regular stuff. Basically, it’s like they’ve disappeared. And we haven’t hung out in a while now too, and I know there is no excuse for it. It’s ok that they’ve freaked out. I only hope they can get over that so we can move on from that and stay friends. And yes, maybe I should do what you did, Laura, and emphasize the I’m the same person I was five minutes ago kinda thing.

Anyway, thanks guys.

[plantt]

hope that talking with them about it goes well good luck