(possible triggers) New to group

[nomorepain]

My name is Matt and this is my first post here. I guess I'm unusual in that I'm a 32 year old man who's battled with self harm tendencies. But my story parallels a lot of the ones I've read about on this board.

In highschool I struggled with an eating disorder. When I was 18, I began cutting on my arms and legs. Just superficial cuts, the scars usually faded within weeks. Then I stopped for several years. But started up again in my mid-20's. More cutting on my arms.

When I was 26 I cut for the first time on my wrist. Very superficial but enough to draw a little blood. Over the next six years I began scratching on my arms and legs until they would start bleeding. It's weird how I never saw the connection between my self harm and how bad I was feeling.

Anyway, four months ago I started cutting deep into my wrist, in the same spot over the course of a week. Until I became too weak to cut anymore. I missed a week's worth of work. Then my Dad and brother drove me to the psych hospital where I spent 4 to 6 weeks in/out patient.

Ever since that week of cutting I haven't felt right mentally. I feel like I have brain damage. My cognitive, vision and sexual function have all gotten worse.

So that's my story. I'm still trying to figure out how cutting on my wrist caused brain damage.

Thanks
Matt

[magebaby]

welcome to bus. i hope you find the help and support that you are looking for here.

feel free to pm me anytime if you want to talk.

take care, and try to stay safe. i hope things get better soon.

hugs, if ok,
magebaby

[nirvana]

hey... welcome to bus.

have a welcome cow. it's tradition.

it's good to hear your story, but i'm sorry you have to struggle with si as well. i know it's a hard fight, but bus is very supportive. if you ever want to talk, feel free to e-mail or pm me.

*huggles* if okay.
tara.