pregnant? *lang, ranting, SI, slight SU* (It's a long post)

forgottenJADED · Post by **forgottenJADED** » Sun Apr 25, 2004 7:24 pm

It is 3:30 in the moring and I feel like shit. Yesterday I had sex with my boyfriend without a condom. I am on the pill, but I only just went on it. You are meant to wait 14 days for it to work and it had only been 9 days.

I woke up half an hour ago and I didn't know why. I couldn't get back to sleep and then this feeling hit me that I was pregnant. I know I can't be sure but I am so scared.

Is it true that you can only get pregnant at a certain time of the month? Isn't it that you can only get pregnant when you are ovulating and the egg only lives for 24 hours? When do you ovulate? it has been half a week since my period, am I safe? Isn't it really hard to get pregnant?

I am so scared. I can't let my mum know if I am. I would have to have an abortion. I am only 15 and my boyfriend and I can't afford a baby. He is only 17. Where do you have to go to get an abortion in Australia? Does anyone know? How much does it cost?

My boyfriend and I talked about it and said that we couldn't have a baby at our age, but he said maybe we would be thinking differently if it happened. This was yesterday. We both talked about it before we had sex, and then after too. He knew I was a bit scared, but I feel like fucking shit now and I really think I might be pregnant. I know I can't be sure. I am so scared.

I would have to quit school. My school is a strict Christian school and the teachers get involved in everyone's relationships. When my friend got engaged and one of the teachers heard us talking about it, it was around the school within the next two hours and now the teachers bring it up all the time.

I have Dance going for me too. I was going to audtition for a dance course at the end of this year and try and get into a company. I am already a student teacher, I help teach six-year-olds and I have my own stretch class. I don't want them to worry.

If I kept the baby, my boyfriend said I could move in with him into his apartment. He lives in an apartment at the back of his brother's house. But I would have to get a job for at least three months.

I don't know what to do. I have to wait three weeks to see if I am pregnant and I am going to be so scared for the next three weeks. I have to go back to school in two days. I don't know how I am meant to feel. How can I not fucking worry about this?

My boyfriend asked me to not cut until he next saw me. That was yesterday. I have to see him today or I will go insane. Yesterday he saw my new cuts. All over my leg. I told him I cut my arm and he asked me to show him. I didn't show him until after we had sex, and then he counted them and said he expected it to be a few, then he said how many there were and when I counted he was right.

I know how much he cares about me. I love him so much. He is the only person I have ever loved and he is the only person who has ever loved me. I am so sick of hurting him.

The only thing stopping me from killing myself a month ago was the hope in my life that he would help me. I wanted us to be together coz I knew he could help me. If we break up I think I would kill myself. He says we won't break up. We want to get married. I know it is fucking stupid to commit to marriage at 15, but we both think that it is so good with us.

What if I am pregnant. My real mum is dead and I don't know my real family. My adoptive mum is the biggest bitch and I could never tell her. I can't tell any of my sisters. They are all 30 or over. I could tell them, but they would tell my mum and I don't want that. I wouldn't want my boyfriend's mum to find out, she would kill him. His brother is a cop and that wouldn't be safe. I am so scared.

WHat am I meant to think or be doing right now?

Love Simone xxx

pinkllama · Post by **pinkllama** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 6:05 am

((forgottenJADED))

Its been a while sense sex-ed for me...I remember something like, the most lively sperms can survive about 3-5 days...so if you had sex 3-5 days before to after ovulating or something...

I however think that you might just be overracting, as you had a major convo with your b/f before having had intercourse...and live in a very puritanical environment...I know I'd be paranoid too...

But this DID bring up some very good considerations for you to go over....is it really worth it...at least be safe and use some protection, non?

I hope everthing turns out though...

peace

forgottenJADED · Post by **forgottenJADED** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 7:15 am

yeah I should be using protection. I am so worried. I looked up some info on abortions on the net and I don't think I could have one. For a start, I don't have the money. I can't handle needles either. Abortions are really painful aren't they?

I hope I am overreacting. I don't want to have a baby. I don't want to have an abortion either.

I hope I'm not pregnant.

If some sperm can live for 5 days, then I don't know anymore. I could still get pregnant. I hope that I am just worrying for nothing and I'm not pregnant. My mum would kill me.

It's not just my family though, I don't ever want his family to find out. His mum is too nice and it would hurt her, his brother is a cop. I've probably said all this. I just need someone to tell me that there is little chance of me being pregnant.

Oh God

argentiaertheri · Post by **argentiaertheri** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 7:25 am

what you could do, if you are someplace that has it, is get the morning after pill. it's like within 72 hours or 96 or so, so if you are gonna do it get on it!

Miss_Kit · Post by **Miss_Kit** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 8:44 am

first, a (( ))

secondly, i would second the suggestion to get the morning after pill if you can. i'm in canada, so don't know much about the australian health care system, but it can reduce the risk of pregnancy 75%-88%, depending on when it's taken.
you may need to see a doctor (if not yours, then at a public health centre or university clinic - or they can at least direct you where to go), or you may be able to buy it in a pharmacy without a prescription.

if you don't end up doing that, there are resources out there. i'm not sure if this is your area of australia, but
http://www.fpwa-health.org.au/services.htm seems to offer counselling and clinical services. for general information, www.plannedparenthood.org is a good site (and i'm not just saying that because i used to work for them)

the probability of getting pregnant is highest 14 days from the beginning of the cycle, and yes, sperm can live 3-5 days.... but in both cases, individual cases vary A LOT. in general, the chance of getting pregnant from one incident is small, but possible. you seem to be giving this a lot of thought, which is good - although it sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now.

about information on abortion... there's a lot of biased stuff out there online, so try and check information from government health sites or other known organizations (not that they're always perfect, but they tend to be more balanced)... i'm not sure how much abortions cost in australia, but i do know that it's commonly done under local or general anaesthetic so it's less painful. the planned parenthood site has more detailed info on that, if you want to check it out.

i hope this hasn't been too much of an avalanche of info, and i hope it can be of some help if you want it. i really hope that this turns out to be a false alarm, but if not, that you'll have support in dealing with it as you see fit.

Jaded · Post by **Jaded** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 12:27 pm

when I first started taking the pill the nurse said wait 7 days after you start taking it, after 9 days on the pill the chance of getting pregnant isn't that high I don't think
take care of yourself and I hope that things go ok and you aren't pregnant

forgottenJADED · Post by **forgottenJADED** » Mon Apr 26, 2004 12:59 pm

Firstly, thanks heaps everyone.

I feel heaps better about it. I think, I hope it is all just a whole heap of worry for nothing.

Thanks again,
Simone xxx

P.S. I might have a look at the morning after pill...
Thanks.

pinkllama · Post by **pinkllama** » Thu May 06, 2004 6:26 am

((huga))
I do hope it was just worry....
let us know how its going though!

kcat · Post by **kcat** » Fri May 07, 2004 4:30 pm

Its not too late....try and get he Morning After Pill, or Emergency Contraception (ECP)...I know its legal in AUS.

It is available thru Planned Parenthood and thru some private docs, and is basically a high dose of birth control pills that PREVENT a pregnancy from happening (it fools your body into thinking its the "wrong time of the month" even if its isn't.) This is NOT the abortion pill, (RU-486), that is for AFTER you are pregnant and is a method of abortion.

You can only do ECP within 72 hours of unprotected sex, so act fast! It is cheap (in the US about 20-$30) and can save you from ever having to make these huge decisions.

PM me if you need more info

Orange Crush · Post by **Orange Crush** » Thu May 27, 2004 12:19 pm

The risk of getting pregnant after 9 days is quite low but just get the morning after pill just to make sure

:1hug3:

hope it works out.

bus

pregnant? lang, ranting, SI, slight SU (It's a long post)

pregnant? lang, ranting, SI, slight SU (It's a long post)

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