Why you won't SI

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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double_agent15
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Why you won't SI

Post by double_agent15 » Thu Jun 05, 2003 2:52 am

Hmm this is a weird and cool idea that I just had while talking to Twilit_Star and so this was what I came up with.
We all have reasons why we don't want to SI and why we don't want to hurt ourselves, so I thought that this would be a great place for us to all post and remind ourselves all the reasons why we don't want this
much love,
double_agent
I'm a double agent on my momma's side
The shit I hear you say just blows my mind
everytime recognize
Though who I am to you is not a lie
I don't have to volunteer and say,
That I was born a particular way
I've got no uniform I'm cameflauged in any light
Obviously you can't tell I'm a double agent on my momma's side

:aard: :aard:
Andria and Artie the stars of Twilit_star's and my new movie!
Ardvark Days (the tragic tales of two heroic ardvark souls. .)

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double_agent15
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Post by double_agent15 » Thu Jun 05, 2003 3:00 am

Reasons why I won't SI:
I don't deserve to be forced to relive everything I went through everytime I look at my arms
I don't deserve to be hurting myself for things that are out of my control
I don't want to hurt anyone other than myself because I am hurting
I want to be able to find new ways to cope
I want to be able to say that I can get over this
I know that even if things seem bad now if a few minutes/hours/days it will all blow over and be better and then I will feel stupid for it and hate myself even more
It just isn't worth it
I'm a double agent on my momma's side
The shit I hear you say just blows my mind
everytime recognize
Though who I am to you is not a lie
I don't have to volunteer and say,
That I was born a particular way
I've got no uniform I'm cameflauged in any light
Obviously you can't tell I'm a double agent on my momma's side

:aard: :aard:
Andria and Artie the stars of Twilit_star's and my new movie!
Ardvark Days (the tragic tales of two heroic ardvark souls. .)

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Twilit_Star
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reasons i don't want to si anymore

Post by Twilit_Star » Thu Jun 05, 2003 3:09 am

yay! so glad you decided to do this!

:redstar: i don't want anymore scars
:redstar: i want to find a coping mechanism with a feeling of releif that last long term
:redstar: i want to be able to look my mom in the eyes and tell her that i have stopped for real
:redstar: i want to grow up to be an actress
:redstar: i don't want to worry about what to wear to cover me up
:redstar: i don't want to be scared of swimming or getting changed
:redstar: i want to be able to honestly say to my new t that i don't cut anymore
:redstar: lying is no fun!
:redstar: i want to stop hurting everyone around me
:redstar: i want control again

there are probably more, maybe i'll post again when i think of them. you are the best double!

love
twilit

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Jomomma
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Post by Jomomma » Thu Jun 05, 2003 5:05 am

I can only think of one reason right now.

I do not want to lose control again!!!!!!!!


JO
:disco: :disco: :disco: :disco: :disco:

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lostandalone
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Post by lostandalone » Thu Jun 05, 2003 5:14 am

:bluestar: i don't want anymore scars
:bluestar: I want to me a better influence on my moms soon to arive baby and i don't want to explain to my kids and freandkids why i have scars
:bluestar: I don't want another runed relationship because people can't deal with me
:bluestar: I want to find new ways to relase my anger
:bluestar: I want to be in control.
:bluestar: I wnat to be happy
its hard to leave the past behind, when everyday it seems harder and harder, you can’t talk to anyone for they will not understand, the truth you hold within, drags you down bit by bit everyday, which leaves me to still say, its hard to leave the past behind.


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Hammurabi
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Post by Hammurabi » Thu Jun 05, 2003 6:15 am

- I don't want my gf worrying about me any more than she already does
- I don't want to hurt my parents
- If I was ever declared a 'threat to myself' and locked in a hospital by court order I know without a doubt I would loose control and kill myself within a week.
I walk from my machine
Deaf dumb and thirty
Starting to deserve this
Leaning on my consious wall
Blood is like wine
Unconscious all the time
If I had it all again
I'd change it all

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Post by (s)aint » Thu Jun 05, 2003 10:24 am

:star: I dont want anymore scars
:star: I dont want to hurt my bf anymore
:star: I want to b happy
:star: I dont want scars to remind of everything
Image

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Post by Laura » Thu Jun 05, 2003 11:54 am

<takes deep breath and racks brain>

:redstar: SI is messy
:redstar: I spend a fortune on first aid stuff
:redstar: I don't want to be in hospital
:redstar: I want my GP to be proud of me
:redstar: I want to feel better permanently
:redstar: Healthcare workers treat your depression worse if you SI
:redstar: Sometimes SI doesn't even help :roll:

Oh well.
Laura :morning:
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Post by silent_scream » Thu Jun 05, 2003 12:21 pm

:star: :- because i deserve respect and kindness espcially from myself
:star: :- because i don't deserve to hurt anymore.
:star: :- because i want to heal
:star: :- because i dont want to.
:star: :- because i dont want to hide and feel sahmeful about my past and who i am anymore.
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose."

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Post by cariad » Thu Jun 05, 2003 5:09 pm

:star: i dont want to hurt anyone
:star: i dont want the scars
:star: i want to find a better way to cope
:star: i want control
:star: i want my life back
:purpstar:

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Post by Pearl » Thu Jun 05, 2003 6:51 pm

:star: There is something counter productive about hurting myself, to cope with pain.

:star: Like it or not, I have to get along with this body. Until I can buy cheap replacements for parts damaged during SI, I have to be more careful. (I learned this the hard way, and my arm may never work right again.)

:star: I'm lonely to begin with, and SI is driving away people I care about. No good can come from that. :uhhh:

:star: I don't like feeling like SI is the only way to get through anything. If I catch myself feeling like that, 9 times out of 10, I can convince myself to do something else. :uhhh:

:star: 2 words: Shock Rock. Ever since Marilyn Manson made SI into something cool that could sell records, I have had a powerful influence against SI.

Those I marked with a " :uhhh: " also show up on reasons why I SI. It's funny how that works sometimes.
"Hey stupid! There's some stuff for you over there. Err, I mean, dinner's ready honey."

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Post by michigansucks » Sat Jun 07, 2003 6:39 am

i want to wear more than t-shirts

I don't want to bleed anymore

I want to go to college without using this as a coping mechanism

I want to wear tank tops without wearing shirst over them :star: :star:

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Post by chilling_teardrops » Sat Jun 07, 2003 11:47 am

because i need to learn to love myself
because it doesnt just effect me
because its going to kill me some day
because i deserve better
because i have the control not it(er mostly)

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Post by Nilkku » Sun Jun 08, 2003 1:06 pm

Let's see if I can think of any...

:bluestar: It doesn't work for me any more like it used to, I'd have to SI far too severely to get the right effect. And because I really do not want to do that, I could just as well not SI at all.... it'd be more or less a disappointment anyway.
:bluestar: It messes my relationship with my boyfriend. He hates it, and for a reason, I have to admit. We're both so much happier if I don't SI.
:bluestar: This is my life, and I want to be the one in control over it.
:bluestar: The itching sucks.
:bluestar: There are so many beautiful clothes I know I can never wear because of my scars. I know things aren't getting much better, but I don't want to make them any worse than they already are.
:bluestar: I want to be able to like myself, and SI'ing won't help that in any way.
:bluestar: In the end, I know SI is doing no good for me. I'd only end up being more disappointed and ashamed of myself than before.
:bluestar: I know I don't really need to SI. The urges will pass if I just can wait for a little while.
:bluestar: It's messy.
:bluestar: I don't want to be a bad influence on my little sister.
:bluestar: I want to learn to express my feelings and stop being dishonest to the people I care about.
:bluestar: I want my boyfriend to think I'm pretty.
:bluestar: I think life is just so much easier and more fun without SI!

Yay, looks like I've got more reasons not to SI than I thought! Thanks for posting this thread, I think it's really useful. :)
Last edited by Nilkku on Tue Jun 24, 2003 9:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Wandering » Tue Jun 10, 2003 8:47 pm

I dunno really. I guess:

- Because it hurts the morning after (yes and thats a reason I do it too)
- Because what right have I to treat my body this way
- Because I don't want future people ie at college/work to wonder why I have scars
- Because I've come too close to getting caught, and it would be awful to have to explain myself to my parents, who have no idea anything's wrong

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Post by she_breathes » Mon Jun 16, 2003 6:45 am

i haven't cut in a long time and sometimes i really want to and i can't think of many good reasons not to, but here's a few:

- i don't want a serious infection
- i don't want to hurt the people who love me
- i want to heal
how could you do nothing
and say i am doing my best?
how could you take almost everything
and then come back for the rest?

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Post by surfgurl » Mon Jun 16, 2003 5:09 pm

This is very hard to write. I last si on Friday 13th June and I'm making a promise to myself (and everyone on bus - cos a promise only to me is not worth it) to stop once and for all.
Reasons why I don't want / need to si

-It is not a constructive coping mechanism. It only hurts me and others around me.
-I desperately want to be loved. No-one is going to want to love me when I si.
- I don''t deserve to punish myself. I've done nothing wrong. I am not a bad person, despite what my thoughts tell me.
- I want to get better and be happy. I can learn to cope and manage my depression.
-I care about my t enough not to want to freak him out again by handing over my tools like I did last Friday. Likewise my boyf doesn't need to see the scarred or scared me anymore.

surfgurl

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Post by racewithdeath » Tue Jun 17, 2003 6:22 pm

- im sick of wearing a sweatshirt and pants in the summer
- i swim, someones gonna notice eventually
- i dont want to hide anymore
- HANNAH

this was a good idea! i'll probably be back later


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Post by Mystic Mana » Wed Jun 18, 2003 11:49 pm

:star: i GET SACRED OF MYSELF
:star: i DONT WANT TO HURT OTHER PEOPLE
:star: i DONT WANT THE SCARS AND MARKS
:star: I WANT A BETTER WAY TO DEAL WITH EVERYTHING
~*BrOkEn AnGeL*~

Do not mess in the afairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste great with Ketchup!

"I wish the ring had never come to me, I wish none of this had happened" ~Lord of the rings

"There's nothing you can do, Harry...nothing...he's gone." ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix :cry:

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Mystic Mana
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Post by Mystic Mana » Wed Jun 18, 2003 11:50 pm

:star: i GET SACRED OF MYSELF
:star: i DONT WANT TO HURT OTHER PEOPLE
:star: i DONT WANT THE SCARS AND MARKS
:star: I WANT A BETTER WAY TO DEAL WITH EVERYTHING
~*BrOkEn AnGeL*~

Do not mess in the afairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste great with Ketchup!

"I wish the ring had never come to me, I wish none of this had happened" ~Lord of the rings

"There's nothing you can do, Harry...nothing...he's gone." ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix :cry:

'Panting slightly and sweeping his long dark hair out of his eyes, Harry's godfather, Sirius, turned to face him.' ~Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix

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