coping list

[shiny]

there might be errors in there, but i've copied a version:

Complete BUS coping list

Things to do before the urge hits
 Keeping a tally.
If you tend to have decent runs of not si-ing, then fail and do it, do a tally. Write ``days I self injured'' in one column, and ``days I didn't'' in the other. At the end of every day, draw a line in either column, depending on if you self injured or not that day. Over time, those tallies in the ``didn't SI'' box will grow, making you feel better.
 Try not to be alone
Visit a friend, go shopping, or go to a public place.
 Simpler goal... choose one day of the week. For example, Wednesdays. And say- I will NOT cut on Wednesday's ever. Eventually you can add another day, such as Wednesday and... Sunday. And so forth.
 Avoid temptation
Avoid the aisle in the supermarket where razors are kept, buy only small packs of over-the-counter medications etc. Keep dangerous things out of your home.
 If you can't throw them away, make your SI tools inaccessible
• Wrap lots of tape round them that you'll need to pull off before you can use them
• Freeze them into a block of ice that you'll have to thaw to get at them
• Put them in a locked box, and throw away the key to the box.

 Wear a pipe cleaner or something that will fit on the places that you injure.
One person did this as a way to remind herself that she could call someone instead of hurting herself and that she had other ways to cope.
 Make a rule for a place or situation you won’t si, for example, never si-ing at work
 Write out a list of all the reasons why you want to stop injuring yourself, and keep it with your tools.
 Write out a list of friends whom you can call when you feel like SI-ing.
 Make a list of crisis lines with the phone numbers and times they are open.
 Print out useful resources
 Make a contract with someone else
Make it someone you care about and who cares about you. Don't have to ``know'' them in the real world - Internet friends etc. are fine. Make sure you try to get in touch with them when you feel like SI-ing (but of course don't get extra depressed, with internet friends, if they aren't around cos they aren't online - keep a list of phone numbers too.)
 Talent:
Write down one thing that you are good at on a piece of paper. Carry this paper with you and whenever you feel bad, add another talent to it. If you run out of talents, think of good features etc.
 Compliments book.
Carry a small notebook around with you. Whenever anyone pays you a compliment or thanks you or says something nice about you, write that down. Reread them all when you feel down or bad about yourself.
 Calendar
Keep a calendar especially for your SI. Put a sticker on each day that you are SI free. At the end of each week look back at which days you hurt yourself. Try to beat that next week. If you get a month full of stickers, buy yourself a treat, like a new top or something.
 Collecting:
Collect something. Beanie babies, anything. When you feel really bad either buy a new one or admire your collection or plan your next addition (e.g. shop online and look at the newest ones)
 Emergency box
Get a box and decorate it any way you like. Inside put things that make you happy, distractions, special photos or letters, and your lists of phone numbers and reasons not to SI. Only open it in an emergency or it loses its special ness. About once every two or three months entirely change the contents. Have an SO or a friend, or your child pick something special to put into the box while you're not looking so that there will be a surprise for you when you do have to open it.
 Emergency tape.
Make a tape to listen to when you are particularly down or vulnerable. You might choose all happy songs to put on it, or you might find it helps to choose sad songs that might enable you to cry.
 Carry safe objects in your pockets.
These can include stones, crystals, small books, and stress relieving squishy things. Anything that feels right to you.
 H.A.L.T.
Avoid getting Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired
 Work out what it the hardest time of the day for you, and plan regular activities to occupy you during that time.
 Identify risky situations that may prove problematic for you. How can you avoid them, or prepare for them so as to be safe?
 Make an urge card.
This is a small card that fits in your wallet to carry everywhere. On it list healthy coping strategies, reasons not to SI, positive statements about yourself, whatever will help you most.
 Award yourself tokens.
When you reach a milestone like 1 day, 1 week, 1 month or whatever, award yourself a token that you put on your website, in your signature, or print out and carry around. There are several available on the web: shatteredinnocents, BUS Board, and naked-dave.
 System of rewards.
Make a big deal of EVERY DAY that you make it. "What I did was go out and get lots of thin bracelets, and some really pretty ones and I put on a new thin one every day I'm SI free, then when I make it a week/2 weeks/a month (depends) I’m allowed to wear one of the really nice ones that I love, and then if I SI, I have to take them all off and start again. But I love the bracelets and don’t want to start again so I'm less likely to do it. “
Learning Exercises
 Answer the "Listening to Urges" questions. You can post them on Before and After
 Answer Kharre's questions. You can post them on Before and After.
 Journal.
Write in your journal why you want to hurt yourself, what caused it to happen so in the future you can prevent it from happening; find out what your triggers were.
 Letter-writing
Write a letter to the person or problem that is upsetting you, or even a letter to your SI. You don't need to post it: either keep it or destroy it by burning the paper or tearing it up. Or write yourself an "I love you because" letter.
 Pozzies
Write out a list of all the positive things in your life at the moment, even really small things.
 Real’s Two Lists
for ONE, write EVERYTHING you have EVER (not just as an adult) enjoyed, found to be fun/adventurous/etc., or was uplifting for you, etc. Don't censor out anything.
When I heard about this idea, I thought of lots of things I had never done but would love to do, so I created these things into list TWO.
Go through ONE, circling, ticking or marking in some way the "positive" things you could do again. Then start introducing the things on lists ONE and TWO into your life. (Full version here)
 Write out why you don't deserve to be hurt.
 If you haven't already, write out all the reasons why you want to stop SI.
 Talk to yourself in a language you don't know very well.
Sometimes it helps stop the urges when I talk to myself in French because I don't have enough words to talk about the bad things, so I'm forced to concentrate on things that are simpler.
 Post on BUS about how you are feeling.
 Listen to a song you like and try to write down all the lyrics without looking at the liner notes.
 Talk to yourself out loud or into a tape-recorder.
 Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)
 Ask yourself what you need, identify what is bothering you.
 Send yourself an encouraging email:
"If I know I'm gonna have a bad day and I don't think I can get through it I email myself the night before and say things like you can do, you're strong, and all that. It kinda helps."
 Brainstorm all the options and choices you have right now.
 Spill your thoughts by writing continuously for as long as you can. Then if you want, tear it up.
 Read books or articles about SI.
Psychological
 Writing words in the sand to be washed away.
The person suggesting this wrote ``When I was near a beach one thing that I found really helpful was to find a secluded spot and write the self-hate words that were haunting me in the sand, and watch as the waves washed them away. It felt cleansing... as if the waves were literally washing the words off of me.''
 Allow yourself to cry.
 Visualize your troubles melting away. Or visualize bad memories being put in sealed airtight containers.
 Make a containment box.
A containment box is something that can be done mentally or physically. What you're doing is creating a place where you can store uncomfortable memories until you are better able to deal with them. Some people like to visualize the box in their mind and see the memory go in there. Other people prefer to make an actual container out of a shoe-box or something and write their memories down on a piece of paper and put it away in the box. I don't think one way necessarily works better than the other. All you're really trying to do is set aside what is overwhelming until you are equipped to deal with it.
 Ask yourself: Will I still feel this way in a minute? An hour? A day? A week? A month? A year? How long will this make me angry/sad for? Is it worth it?
 Word repetition:
Write down a word best associated with what you are feeling (i.e. horrible, sad, lonely, angry) and continue to write it down, over and over.
Sometimes when you do that, the words looks silly etc., and it puts humour or a smile in your life.
 Don’t be hard on yourself for feeling this way.
Try not to beat yourself up inside by calling yourself names or expecting yourself to just "not feel this way" or to "snap out of it." This internal name-calling and self-verbal abuse will only make you feel worse.
• Make a list of all the good things in yourself - for example: kind, considerate to others, hard worker, etc.
• Look at photos of happy times. This might make you feel sad, but sometimes it might help you to cry.
• Tell yourself rational, encouraging things:
• "This is a down day, but I know from experience that it will pass and I will feel good again."
• "When I count up the good things, the reasons to hope, I know these feelings are irrational and therefore I will ignore them and do something to stop feeling them."
• "Everyone has moods like this--it's part of being human; but I don't have to let a temporary thing cause me to ruin everything I have accomplished - I'll wait it out."
• Remember that you have littles/inner children who may be very scared.
Watching someone self-harm is a very scary thing to witness and your littles maybe be aware of what you are doing. If you really feel you are going to self-harm, you may need to get them to a safe place. This also applies if you are a parent with external children; you probably should not have them there when you are self-harming.
• Lose the "should-could-have to" words. Try... "What if"
• Act as if you feel good
Smile, deliberately put jauntiness into your step, put on an alert, interested expression. Make yourself talk cheerfully to people, hum or whistle a cheerful tune--often, when we ACT like we feel good, we start FEELING good.
• Make a list of your accomplishments.
• Notice black & white thinking, catastrophising, irrational self-blame.
• Identify distorted thoughts and turn them into positive ones.
E.g. If you're thinking, "I'm a bad person.” you could tell yourself, "I'm a good person and I deserve to be happy and loved".
• Repeat positive thoughts to yourself while looking at your reflection in a mirror.
The theory behind this is that looking in your own eyes helps to aid in conveying the message to your brain. It is not a quick transformation. It takes time to reverse the years and years of negativity you've likely experienced but with practice and consistency it can change a lot.
• Visualize a bright red "stop" sign. Symbolically disallow those thoughts to continue.
• Choose a colour that makes you feel safe or calm (preferably not black). Repeat the name of the colour again and again either out loud or silently. Imagine the uncomfortable scene is being washed away and replaced with that colour.
Imitating SI
• Snap a rubber band around your wrist.
• Draw on yourself with a red pen.
Make it look like cuts or scratches, or write words. Only use non-toxic ink.
• Squeeze ice cubes in your hands - the cold causes pain in your hands, but it is not dangerous or harmful. (Note: putting ice on a spot you want to burn gives you a strong painful sensation and leaves a red mark afterward, kind of like burning would.)
• Use a toothbrush on your skin instead of a razor.
• Squeezing tissues
I find it helpful if I take tissues and squeeze them HARD in my hands... I mean HARD. Act like you are in excruciating pain and cling to them for dear life. Then release and lie down and gasp like it finally stopped. It’s actually quite satisfying.
• Food colouring:
Take a small bottle of liquid red food colouring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food colour trickle out.
• Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you've made by dropping six or seven drops of red food colour into each of the ice-cube tray wells.
• Waxing your legs or bikini line - it's painful and has visible results.
• Use a henna tattoo kit.
You put the henna on as a paste and leave it overnight; the next day you can pick it off as you would a scab and it leaves an orange-red mark behind.
• Wash and bandage the parts of your body that you want to SI.
• Harm a teddy or doll, and then bandage it.
• Press inwards with your fingers just under your ear. Really really really hurts but that's all.
• Gluey Arm
Paint some non-toxic glue onto your arm, let it dry and then peel it off.
• Paint on yourself with red tempera paint.
• Sticky tape:
Say you like to cut your arm... you could... I dunno... take some masking tape and loosely tape up the location. I mean... only temporarily of course... and it doesn't hurt too much coming off... and if it does- that might be better... hmm?
• Scribble with red chalk or crayon. You can do it on sheets of paper or on the pavement outside.
• Draw a hand on paper then draw cuts on it.
• Cardboard and ketchup:
Cut an arm shape out of cardboard, and tape some little sachets of ketchup onto the underside. Then cut the arm as if you were si-ing and watch the red stuff ooze out.
Delaying and distracting
• Fifteen-minute rule:
Hold off for 15 minutes. If you then still have the urge to harm yourself, you can. Before you do, try another 15 minutes. Again, at the end it's up to you. See how long you can go without giving in. You have the control.
• Describe an object:
Choose an object in the room. Examine it carefully and then write as detailed a description of it as you can. Include everything: size, weight, texture, shape, colour, possible uses, feel, etc.
• Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it.
• Research a randomly-chosen subject on the Web.
• Sleep (if you feel tired enough or it's the right time to sleep).
• Make a list. Make many lists. List as many different food items as you can think of. List all the user handles that you remember. List... you get the point. I use this a lot to help me fall asleep, but it works for urges also.
• Detangling wool or necklaces.
• Re-organize your room.
• Spell your name using images that look like letters. Butterfly Alphabet is a good place to start.
• Read a joke book or go to a joke site
• Make up a funny chain letter scheme. (Has anyone here ever gotten the pretty panty exchange chain letter? That one was funny.) Ask for postcards, stickers, bookmarks, hair clips, whatever. Print up a bunch and send them to all your friends.
• Start a dumb email forward. Warn your friends of the evils of BIC ballpoint pen ink or something. Just to be really evil and irritating, insert rows and rows of forward markings (>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.)
• Alphabetize all your books or CDs.
• Word game.
Pick a word from the dictionary. Then think of a word that begins with the last letter of that word, and so on. See how long you can go for.
• Rip up paper into tiny little pieces.
• Colour in a piece of paper with a fine nibbed biro until it is totally covered, TOTALLY.
• Balancing objects
Play with balancing animals or just use objects in your room to build a precarious tower.
• Pop bubble wrap!
• Count to 100, or if that's too easy, try the following sequence:
Pick a whole number. If it's even, divide it by 2 repeatedly until you get an odd number. When you have an odd number, multiply it by 3 and add 1 to it. Then start dividing by 2 as before. Keep doing this. The sequence has interesting behaviour and can be tried with different starting values.
• Say the alphabet backwards.
• Build a pillow fort.
• Memorise something:
Things like poetry, Bible verses, or foreign-language vocabulary are good. Or the Greek or Hebrew alphabets, Periodic Table of chemical elements, list of monarchs or presidents, etc.
• Think up baby names.
You don't have to be pregnant!
• Name all your soft toys.
• Plan your wedding or prom.
• Hunt for stuff on Ebay.
• Look up family and friends on the internet.
"I've found my parents, my step dad, 2 uncles, and my brother. It was quite entertaining."
• Look at property adverts to find your dream home.
• Make as many words as possible out of your full name or a long word.
• Make anagrams of people's names
"Clint Eastwood" is an anagram of "Old West action" for example.
• Count things:
Anything you can see, like ceiling or floor tiles, bricks, or patterns on wallpaper.
• Search ridiculous words or phrases on the Web.
• Arrange your wardrobe in order of colour.
• Sort out your photos.
• Plan a dinner party.
• Play with a slinky or a puppet.
• Go out and smile at at least five people.
You usually end up really smiling yourself!
• Word association game:
Pick a word and then think of a related word, then something that relates to that.... and so on.
• Free writing:
Write continuously for a fixed amount of time, say 5 minutes. Let the words flow, put down whatever comes into your head.
• Play with a doll or teddy
Make it into a punk, style its hair; give it awful make up. Cover it in tattoos.
• A to Z game:
Pick a subject, like "animals" or "fruit" and then write down one thing beginning with each letter of the alphabet. A = antelope, B = bear, etc.
• Use the Distractions forum on BUS.
• Do a puzzle such as a crossword, word search, or a sliding-tile puzzle.
• Play a card game such as Patience. Or build a tower of cards.
• Search for your name in Google’s image section. Or any word you like. Then collect together your favourite ones and post them somewhere - Place, word document...
• Play solitaire.
• Tie yourself up.
OK... this is weird but I have done this... it works well in desperate situations. Put your "tools" somewhere away from your bed. Then take clothes, yarn, rope, duct tape... whatever. Tie your legs together and tie them to a bed post. Then (this is tricky) tie your own hands behind your back. Trust me; you won't be doing anything to yourself for a while. I suggest having music on so you don't get too bored.... and make sure you have a way to get out... otherwise... well... duh.
• Plan a holiday
a real one, or a dream holiday where time and money are no object!
• Take a few minutes and act silly.
For example, keep a huge collection of wind up toys in your office, and when stuff gets out of control, play with them.
• Spin coins, enjoying the sound. Or just sort out all your small change.
• Read a ridiculously long list of SI alternatives
Violent, anger-releasing
• Punch your bed or a pillow.
• Scratch or jab a piece of wood with a screwdriver.
• Scream
If you don't want people to hear, screaming into a pillow muffles it.
• Make something and then destroy it.
• Break the object that you use to self-injure as a way to show that you have control over it.
• Shout out your feelings.
It's useful to rave and rant while you are doing the other techniques on this list.
• Scribble on paper. Clutch the pen in your fist. It's a way to diffuse it on to paper. (Get a few sheets so they don't tear.)
• Take item you are self-injuring with and use it against something else.
For example, if you are using a razor blade, rip it across a towel. Sometimes seeing what "can" be done to an object can make a person think twice about using it on themselves. Can also give the feeling of "doing it"...the tangible aspect.
• Hit a punch bag.
• Squeeze a stress ball or a lump of Plasticine.
• Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock
• Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at. Cut and tear it instead of yourself.
• Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go.
• Use a pillow to hit a wall, pillow-fight style.
• Rip up an old newspaper or phone book.
• On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture.
• Throw ice into the bathtub or against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it.
• Break sticks.
• Slap a tabletop.
• Clap hard.
• Blow up balloons and pop them.
You could sit on top of the balloon to pop it - find creative ways to pop the balloons.
• Breaking plastic plates
• Tearing up socks or old clothes.
• Throwing socks against the wall.
• Throw everything into the middle of the room.
Don't throw glass things though!
• Smash glass for recycling:
Collect jars and bottles. When you are angry take them to the bottle bank and throw them into the recycle bins as hard as you can. (Please don't smash them at home, it can be dangerous)
• Throw a ball:
Throw a tennis ball at a wall as hard as you can and catch it again. Preferably outside or somewhere where it won't smash things.
• Scribble all over pictures of people in magazines.
Or scribble on a photo of someone who annoys you!
• Shoot 'em up
Buy an old style, cheap computer game, preferably without much gore, and take out your pain and anger on the "baddies". You could also play a simulation game, build a town and then destroy it!
• Stump bashing
Take a walk to a quiet wooded area where you won't be disturbed. Find a solid branch and smash it as hard as you can against a rock, or old tree stump, over and over again, releasing all of your feelings in the process.
• Throw raw eggs at tree trunks and enjoy smashing them.
• Make lots of noise with pots and pans.
• Rant while you are doing all of the above!
Exercise
• Dance.
Put some loud music on and dance and sing until you are totally exhausted.
• Go for a walk. Pay attention to the rhythm of your steps.
• Swimming
• Cycling
• Sex
• Stretching
Can you touch your toes?
• Tai Chi
• Gymnastics.
Do stuff you used to do as a kid, like cartwheels and handstands. See if you can still stand on your head.
• Running
Go for a run, run as fast as you can. If you can't go out, run up and down stairs or from one end of a room to the other.
• Paper Tennis:
Write down your feelings on a piece of paper, then screw it into a tight ball and whack it round the room "tennis style", until you're exhausted.
• Skating:
Someone wrote "I always carry my skates (blades) with me. I imagine as though I'm cutting my self with my blades as I push myself to my limits."
• Karate
• Some aggressive type of sport, such as galloping horses, driving fast on go-karts.
• Ten-pin bowling.
• Put on some psycho loud classical music, or even John Williams or marching music. Pretend you're a crazy conductor.
• Jump around in circles until you fall (preferably on carpet) and then lay there and feel nauseous and watch the world sway back and forth rapidly. Or try to walk... LOL It is always worth a giggle.
• Bounce a ball.
• Any kind of exercise
Even if it's just press-ups and sit-ups in your own room it still burns away the energy to harm.
Other physical things
• Have a shower.
• Stomp around in heavy shoes.
• Break an egg in your hand.
• Take a walk in the rain (be careful of lightning) and stomp around in the puddles.
• Paint your nails
• Bite your nails!
• Wash your face.
• Sleep naked.
I'm not sure how great this is when urging, but I find it to be very comforting to curl up under the covers and feel the sheets against your skin. I can close my eyes and envelope myself in the warmth and almost imagine I'm in the womb... it feels very safe.
• Brush and floss your teeth.
• Dunk your arms in icy water.
• Rinse your mouth with a strong mouthwash - some of these kind of hurt!
• Get a massage.
• Dress up very glamorous.
• Put on make-up or face-paint.
• Fake tan.
• Get a tattoo or piercing.
• Put on fake nails.
• Shave (legs or face depending!)
Mightn't be a good idea if you use your razor to SI with though.
• Bark stripping
Find a thin stick/or thick twig, no more than 6 inches long... and pick up a small smooth-ish rock and scratch the stick with it to get off all the bark and imperfections... don't stop until the stick is perfect and perfectly smooth.
• Get out a fine-toothed comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigour).
• Body Paint.
Draw on your body with body paints or markers and felt tips (preferably ones that wash off!) Try writing good things about yourself on the bits of you that you don't like so much.
• Dye your hair
Dyeing your hair red sometimes helps - the wonderful sight when you rinse it off of all this red liquid flowing down the plug hole is very cathartic.
• Masturbation
Someone wrote "This is a tough one to write... if it's one of those times where I just want release, and exercise doesn't help... getting out my vibrator and bringing myself to orgasm can often provide the relief I need, and help decrease the urge to self injure. Somehow the impersonal nature of the vibrator makes it easier, and it is much more about build up of tension followed by release than anything sexual."
• Haircut
"The combination of the snipping sensation and the slight pampering was a good 'halfway' measure, and not nearly as socially-harmful as slicing up a limb or two. Even cutting my own hair worked quite well (though luckily I have curly hair which hid the botched job I did), though having scissors near your head might be dangerous in some situations. The haircut was normally a pre-emptive move for me though."
• Comb your hair, or plait it or style it differently.
Nurturing
• Self-massage
Try massaging the area you want to harm with massage oils or creams, reminding yourself that you are special and you deserve to treat yourself and your body with love and respect.
• Bath
Take a long hot bath with bath oil or bubbles.
• Hot drink
Hot chocolate, mmmm.
• Curl up under a blanket.
• Hug a soft toy or your pillow.
• Read a good book. Perhaps a children's book.
• Burn incense or scented candles
Not a good plan if you SI by burning though.
• Eat a favourite food.
• Go out for an ice-cream.
• Hug someone - or hug yourself.
• Chocolate!
• Treat yourself to a present.
Go to a dollar store if you're broke, or any store you can afford and buy yourself a little something. A new pair of earrings, a jar of bubbles to blow outside. A container of Ben and Jerry's, a bracelet, anything. Remind yourself that you are special and you deserve special things. I like to buy lip gloss, and CDs.
• Buy yourself some fresh flowers.
• Listen to soothing music
• Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read.
• Rewards
Give yourself rewards, even if they're stupid, mundane little things like watching a TV show you like or eating a food you like - and indulge yourself in these things when you feel bad. This makes you remember there are good things in life, however small.
• Buy yourself a soft toy or some kind of present.
• Wash your hands with nice soap specially kept for such occasions.
• Put on your pyjamas and just veg.
Calming and relaxing
• Deep breathing:
Just sit down comfortably, eyes closed and take long, slow breaths- concentrating on the breath itself as it goes in and out and nothing else. After even eight or nine breaths, as long as you keep them slow, you can feel more relaxed.
• Relaxation techniques:
You can buy a tape that tells you what to do, or read a book.
• Go for a walk outside. Pay careful attention to plants and flowers and trees, the sky, how much wind there is, the exact amount of light and darkness, the texture of the sidewalk. Take deep breaths as you walk. Walk slow.
• Watch a sunset or sunrise.
• Lay back and watch the clouds drift. Try to find images.
• Look at the stars and try to identify constellations.
• Meditation (self-hypnosis if you like)
Sit down comfortably, eyes closed and repeat to yourself a word which indicates something you want to have that you don't (emotions wise) or a state you want to be in- like 'happiness. Happiness, happiness' or 'confidence, confidence, confidence'. The idea is that in time, you 'fool yourself' that you HAVE these things, and in doing so you DO have them because it's YOU that gives them to you in the first place!!
• Go to a wood or a garden and look at nature.
• Try to remember a happier time. Transport yourself back to there in your mind. Try to do it actively, and remember everything you did as you did it. For instance if you're remembering a vacation at the beach, try to concentrate on the feeling of the sand, the waves, the sun, etc.
• Go to a church or other place of worship.
• Recite a poem, prayer or anything else familiar the comforts you, multiple times.
• Yoga
• Visualize a calm, safe place
Create an internal safe place where you can go. In a time when you feel safe and secure, create a room, garden, beach, mountain, cabin in the woods or any safe area inside yourself which you can retreat to and get away from external stresses. Add as many details as you can to make it real for you.
• Watch a candle flame
Not if you SI by burning.
• Fantasy
Have a vivid fantasy love affair with a celebrity.
• Hyper-focus on something like a rock, hand, etc.
• Watch fish.
• Watch bees or butterflies.
• Stroke a pet.
• Watch a lava lamp.
Creative
• Write poetry.
It'll be dark, but it'll be raw-emotional, and that's good - it's a less harmful way of releasing things.
• Draw
Draw a picture of who or what is upsetting you, or of your feelings, or just a pattern.
• Paint
• Make a kite and see if you can fly it.
• Work with clay, play-dough, etc.
(The person who suggested this mentioned that they would make a big sculpture and do whatever they wanted to it. They said it was helpful to calm the urge to self-injure, plus it gave them some idea of what might be underlying the pain.)
• Cooking.
Especially if it involves lots of chopping or bashing dough. And besides, you get something yummy to eat out of it!
• Needlework, cross-stitch etc.
• Anything crafty, even if it's silly or simple.
Make a puppet out of a brown paper lunch bag... glue buttons, etc. on for the eyes and nose, draw a mouth, dress it up. Make a construction paper chain to count down an event or a day you're looking forward to. draw a picture and colour it with crayons and glue on glitter. I used to do this with kids I babysat, and it's great fun. You get engrossed in what you're doing.
• Make someone a cute just because card.
For example: Joe, Happy Wednesday!!! Make some cute little jingle inside and decorate it and then you anticipate giving it to someone.
• Play a musical instrument.
• Sing
Sing a song, or just make one up as you go along. Sing a song on what you are feeling. It's another way to get it outside.
• Knitting
• Baking
• Finger-painting
• Draw on the walls
• Colouring in
Use a colouring book, or find a colouring in website.
• Make a compilation tape of your favourite songs.
• Start collecting something
• Write a song.
• Decorate a box.
• Decorate clothing
Get some old clothes and decorate them with markers and glitter.
• Make bracelets or necklaces.
Make a SIAM (self-injury awareness movement) bracelet with orange and white beads.
• Rock Painting
Paint rocks and fir cones and shells in bright colours. Either put them back in the "wild" for kids to find and wonder about, or in your garden or bedroom.
• Collect wild flowers.
Go for a walk and pick some wild flowers. You could take them home to put in water, or you could press them between books, or in a flower press, and then stick them on letters and notebooks.
• Scrapbook
Make a giant scrapbook for your favourite band or singer etc. Look up facts about them on the internet and print out or collect pictures of them to stick in it. Every time you feel like hurting yourself, add another page to the book.
• Make a video
Get some paper and design, or write about a music video that you would like to make. Describe everything in as much detail as possible.
• Write a children's story. They always have happy endings.
• Make a collage:
It can be about your feelings, or a poster saying some message that you think is important.
• Make a "happy picture":
Cut out pictures from magazines of lots of things that make you happy, arrange them on a big sheet of paper and glue them down.
• Redecorate a room or rearrange furniture.
• Think kids stuff like those get set kits you can buy, key ring makers, hair braids, funky pens, beads, glitter. Kids stuff rules and these kits can keep you occupied for ages.
Grounding
• Focus on the present
Think of what is real and around you right then. There is no such thing as the past or the future - only the now!
• Be aware of the world:
Say to yourself what you see. "The couch is green. The light is on. I can feel my shoe pinching my foot." etc. This can sometimes be enough to ground you.
• Stroke nice fabrics.
• Take a cold bath.
• Try to find the pulse on your wrist and count the beats.
• Do a body scan. Take inventory of your body, concentrating on the way each area feels. Once you have an idea of that, tense up all of your muscles. Then, starting with your forehead, gradually move down your body, relaxing each part in sequence. Notice the release you feel as you go from muscle to muscle, concentrating specifically on those problem areas. The places that were tense or rigid at first will hopefully begin to feel less stiff.
• Make a list of the things you can and can't control. If this is difficult for you, start small. You can control when you brush your hair. You can't control the rain that messes up your freshly brushed hair. See how many things you come up with that you can do.
• 54321
Name 5 things you can see in the room with you. Name 4 things you can feel (chair on my back). Name 3 things you can hear right now. Name 2 things you can smell. Name 1 good thing about yourself.
• Roll and squish Blu-Tac in your hands.
• Repetitive reality checking
Say or write down or make a mental list of all the things you can think of about where you are now. "It is 4:50pm on Wednesday July 16th 2003, my feet are feeling carpet, the walls are yellow, there is a table in front of me, I am 28 years old..." and so on.
• Touch something familiar and safe.
• Put your feet firmly on the floor.
• Stick your hand into icy water, or poke your finger into a frozen food like ice-cream or peas.
• Bite into a pepper or a lemon, or chew a piece of ginger or an extra-strong mint.
• Eat a raisin mindfully.
Pick it up, noticing how it feels in your hand. Look at it carefully; see the asymmetries and think about the changes the grape went through. Roll the raisin in your fingers and notice the texture; try to describe it. Bring the raisin up to your mouth, paying attention to how it feels to move your hand that way. Smell the raisin; what does it remind you of? How does a raisin smell? Notice that you're beginning to salivate, and see how that feels. Open your mouth and put the raisin in, taking time to think about how the raisin feels to your tongue. Chew slowly, noticing how the texture and even the taste of the raisin change as you chew it. Are there little seeds or stems? How is the inside different from the outside? Finally, swallow.
• List all the ways in which now is different from the time/memory that was triggery or you have flashbacks of. Someone wrote "I made a list like this when I had to go to the dentist for dental work. I avoided the dentist for over 10 years, because I didn't want anyone else putting stuff in my mouth. But by making a list of all the ways in which the situation was different and in which I was different, I was able to cope without needing to cut."
• Strong smells
Aromatherapy oils are good for this.
Other people
• Phone a friend:
Either to tell them how you are feeling and ask for help, or just to enjoy a chat.
• Call your therapist if you have one.
• Play with kids:
If you have a little cousin or niece or nephew or something - do something w/them. Like play a game or play dress-up or whatever. Little kids can almost always make you happy - even better if it's a baby.
• Ring a crisis line.
• Visit a friend.
• Smiling at kids:
Go to the grocery store or the mall or another public place. Observe a (quiet and calm, non-crying) infant or small child. Wave. Smile at them. Make faces. Try to get them to smile back at you. Watch their eyes and their sense of wonder. It is very calming and peaceful. Remember what it felt like to see the world with new eyes, taking everything in and learning about everything around you.
• Confront the person who made you feel this way (if appropriate), making your feelings known instead of keeping them inside.
• Tell someone else about how you are feeling.
• Invite some folk round for dinner, or out for coffee or lunch.
• Read or watch TV in the same room as someone else.
• Go to a public place and people-watch.
Self-punishment/worthy stuff!
• Household chores
Cleaning, vacuuming, washing up, ironing
• Wash and wax your car.
• Studying, school work.
Specifically projects that aren't due for a really long time. No stress there.
• Tidying your room or your desk.
• Something you have been putting off.
• Catch up on letter-writing and emails.
• Learn a new language.
• Clean your email inbox
• Organize your bills.
• Polish silver or jewellery. Or stained mugs or teapot.
• Gardening, watering house plants.
• Go out and pick up litter in the street or a park.
• Find someone you can help. Go outside if you can and give a bit of money to a homeless person. Do something nice for someone. It makes you feel good.
• Help someone on BUS by replying to posts.
• Do voluntary work.
• Sort through your old junk.
• Take stuff to a charity shop or for recycling.
Other things
• Shopping
Buy something nice, but don't overspend! Or go window-shopping.
• Sing along to the radio or a CD - pick a hairbrush up and pretend to be in a band.
Even if you "know" you can't sing. Do it as loudly as possible when no one's around.
• Watch a happy movie. Watch a funny movie especially Disney movies. Pop some popcorn and sit around in your PJ's.
Or a sad one if it will help you to have a good cry.
• Play a computer game
• Go to the cinema
• Surf the Net
• Play with a pet.
If you don't have a furry pet of your own for whatever reason, go to a pet store and play with the animals... Have the people take out one of the dogs and go into one of the little rooms and play with it. It's good for a smile, and it'll make the dog super happy to get the attention!!
• Go for a walk.
• Go to McDonald's. Buy a happy meal. Buy an extra toy too and then you'll have two.
• Read a book.
• Work on your website. Tripod has a site builder that is easy to use even if you don't know html.
• Go for a long drive
Make sure you are safe to drive though: don't do it if you are dissociating or feeling reckless.
• Take up a new hobby
• Go to a museum or gallery.
• Read the Bible, or Shakespeare or anything you've wanted to read.
• Feed ducks.
• Go to a concert.
• Go to the library.
• Find a sandbox and build yourself a sandcastle.
• Go clubbing.
• Play at a swing park.
• Go to a zoo; rename all the animals.
• Learn diabolo
• Putting little dots all over a piece of paper.
"I try to do it more organized-like, but you can also just go wild with them. This really helps me when I'm at school and get the urges to hurt myself, because I have to have a paper out and so I just use the side area. People look at me strangely, sometimes, but oh well."