Help??

[Job]

I am new to this board but need so much help. I keep thinking I am doing good with not SI then I so fall back into cutting. It's like I feel like I do not deserve to feel good. I have been diagnosed with depression and PTSD from past abuse and recent abuse with my husband. I don't want to SI but sometimes it is the only way to get the pain to go away, the only way to punish myself or the only way to get the bottomless pit feeling out of my stomach. I went about 6 weeks and then yesterday I felt so bad and I went crazy on my arms and legs. I just need support as I can't tell anyone. My therapist knows, but the other person I told said I only did it for attention which is not the case, if I could find another way to "fix" these problems I would. I feel great shame and guilt and trapped. I used to cut when I was in high school due to abuse but stopped until about a year ago when my husband started abusing me. Any good ideas out there? I am drowning

[Jamas]

Welcome to BUS, Job! I am so glad to see you here.
It's a tradition to give welcome cows to new members, so here you are:


You have come to the right place. I don't know whether hugs would be helpful to you right now, but if so, BUS has plenty of 'em, just waiting for you. BUS also has plenty of listening ears, distractions, self-accountability exercises, resources, etc. Explore and enjoy!

I am really sorry to hear about the trauma and abuse you have survived, and the responses you have heard so far about SI sound like they were also really hard to go through. You must be very strong to have survived and come through so much, to make it all the way here. We are lucky to have you among us.

Take good care of yourself, and feel free to PM for support,

Jamás