How do I get help

[Titania]

About a year ago I was raped. I didn't report it. It took months before I admitted to myself that it had happened.

I've always been prone to nightmares, but this last year I have been having constant bad dreams. I while ago I even hit my boyfriend when he tried to wake me with a hug.

I think I need help. I'm not getting better. I have trouble looking men in the eye. Even men I'm friends with scare me. I don't have the money for regular therapy. What can I do?

[Licentia Poetica]

I sympathise. I can't say that I was raped exactly, but I was taken advantage of once years ago and I still find myself randomly getting a little freaked out, even around my boyfriend who would never hurt me.

I agree with the above: call a crisis line (there are often specific sexual abuse lines), or look in your local directory for a mental health team, or even see a GP for a psychologist referral. If you go to university or school there may be a counsellor you could talk to. You could also google "surviving rape/ sexual abuse + "your city"" and see what comes up - there may be support groups you could attend. The Secret Shame website has some info under "Offline resources".

The main thing is to reach out to someone without letting fear stop you. What happened to you wasn't your fault, and there are people around to get you through this, if you let them.

Welcome to BUS, and good on you for taking the first step, even if it's just reaching out here.