SI decrease, external anger outburst increase

[strmdncr]

I have been finding that as I have managed to decrease my si'ing that with the small stresses in life I am okay, I can still do well in terms of taking the time to consider things before reacting but the larger stresses, the ones that normally would've resulted in my si'ing are instead leaving me feeling a lot more easily frustrated with people and as a result I have anger outbursts where I am yelling, swearing etc at people.

While this is part of what I am working on with my T right now, thoughts or suggestions people might have on how to work towards keeping these things down would be appreciated as well as hearing whether others have dealt with anything similar.

[SaraiStar]

I've definitely been dealing with this for the past few months or so, too. For me, I'd often (though certainly not always) SI in situations where somebody said or did something that felt hurtful or made me uncomfortable or just wasn't nice. However, because my self esteem has historically been in the toilet, I always internalize the things that other people do as reflections of me and my worth as a person; part of getting better about not doing this, though (and subsequently not wanting to hurt myself so much) is realizing just how much people can be real assholes sometimes!! Not always, but definitely sometimes! and anger IS a perfectly understandable reaction to that.. but i've found that because I'm not used to feeling it, I think maybe I never really learned how to moderate it.

I don't know if you relate to this at all, or if your anger arises differently. Getting better about it has just been a really slow process so far, mostly of just trying to be mindful; to stop myself, take stock of what I'm feeling, and try to logically weigh the strength of my emotion against that which triggered it. Sometimes I've just plain felt like I was going to explode, and in those situations I just try to go and blow off steam in some other way.

Sorry, I know this is rambly and probably not very helpful. :?

-S

[strmdncr]

SaraiStar
Not rambly at all and helpful in knowing that others are dealing with similar problems. Most of the time (not always mind you) when I am aware of feeling angry I can step away from the situation is some form. It's the intense, sudden anger emotion that seems to be linked to the outburst for me, almost like I'm operating on autopilot or something. Still find it hard to explain. Thanks very much though for taking the time to respond.