Nerves

[Otohime]

Most people I know don't think what I have to do is a big deal. I have to raise some money for a film project, and I'm talking with someone tomorrow (whom I barely know) about him donating some money. I'm extremely... I don't talk to people much. I'm shaking in fear. I also feel like I'm being selfish and rude to ask for money.

If there was a way out, I'd take it. Actually, the latter is false. I could refuse, but I WANT to change. I WANT to be brave. I want to prove to myself I'm not hopeless for life.

But I'm not coping well either. I'm slipping into bad habits again. Not eating. Throwing up. And cutting, which isn't an old habit, but still. If I stay nervous and mess up because of it, I WILL punish myself tomorrow... and I don't want to really inflict that sort of damage to myself. I'm afraid of what I can do.

Is there anyway to be less nervous? Or a way to cope until then without having to SI?

(most of the usual anti-SI alternatives aren't helping. I'm still... "AAAHHH" want-to-hide feeling.)

[VowsOfSadness]

good luck

Just try not to think about it. It's not a personal thing it's a business thing. And if they reject you that's not a personal rejection they just may not have the money or etc. I used to be so shy I could barely leave the house, it was crippling, now I'm one of the most outgoing people you could meet. All I can say is I forced myself to come out of my shell by doing things like you are doing making myself talk to people and be in situations like that.

Anyway I am not quite sure what you are looking for there is a huge list of SI alternatives on the coping board. I hope you find time to try a few.

[heartonmysleave]

it helps me to think of what (rationally) is the worst thing that can happen. they can say "no" and possibly be rude about it. thats not so terrible. deep calming breaths before you talk to them. remember that though it feels aweful to do, soon it will be over.