Okay. So I've been generally in a good way for some months now. And the urge to SI has usually subsided. I know it will never been gone, and any time I'm stressed out it comes back. But I'm better at dealing with it. The catch is that I've noticed there are certain types of music and movies, specific songs and scenes that once may have been comforting, that now trigger the urge to SI in me. It's kind of weird, I notice it with media related to SI, and most strongly I noticed it while watching the movie Velvet Goldmine the other day (who has a character based on Iggy Pop in it, and this song at the end that he sings, and it's just amazing!). (See also: the Royal Tenenbaums or Secretary). I don't know what it is - just certain things like that that evoke really strong emotion in me bring up those feelings as well.
Does anyone else get this? Is it therapeutic, or should I cut these things out of my life? It's not too big of a concern, I guess, just something I've been thinking about. I haven't acted on any of the emotions they evoke in a negative way. But it just makes me feel really strongly in a way I usually don't unless I'm miserable, though I don't feel miserable while watching them, somehow more like unbearably alive. Hmmm... thoughts?
Movies, Music and Other Triggering Stimuli
I don't have that kind of reaction to external stimuli like that, but I think what you do about it is up to you...you can cut those things out of your life for the time being, but unless you deal with why they are triggering you, the issue will never really go away.
-marya hornbacher
spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)
- StevieLynn
- bus mechanic
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I agree with Spidey, if you don't deal with what triggers you, you can't make those things less trigger-y. Sometimes I find myself triggered when people talk about SI around me or when I see it or hear about it in a movie/book/other media source. I might suggest finding a time when you are safe to listen to whatever music or watch whatever show/movie you find triggering and analyze what makes it triggering for you, and have a fall back plan (like a date with a friend or a safety box to work with) if you just end up getting triggered. Or maybe do something friendly like color while you watch the movie or listen to the music.
Just my two cents. If I make any sense at all!
Love,
Stevie
Just my two cents. If I make any sense at all!
Love,
Stevie
In Which Something Oooh Occurred
And it felt like a winter machine that you go through and then you catch your breath and winter starts again, and everyone else was springbound. And when I chose to live, there was no joy, it's just a line I crossed. I wasn't worth the pain my death would cost, so I was not lost or found....But when you live in a world, well, it gets in to who you th ought you'd be. And now I laugh at how the world changed me. I think life chose me after all.
--Dar Williams
And it felt like a winter machine that you go through and then you catch your breath and winter starts again, and everyone else was springbound. And when I chose to live, there was no joy, it's just a line I crossed. I wasn't worth the pain my death would cost, so I was not lost or found....But when you live in a world, well, it gets in to who you th ought you'd be. And now I laugh at how the world changed me. I think life chose me after all.
--Dar Williams
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