Why not to *SI

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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lucky_lenny
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Why not to *SI

Post by lucky_lenny » Wed Dec 03, 2008 10:54 am

Because I'm trying to quit, but like... yeah.

My reasons are mostly

"I don't want other people in my life to be hurt by this"
and
"I don't want this to have a hold on me"

But being the selfish thing I am, I'm finding it so terribly hard to stay strong just thinking like that. Because I think "But look at how much people in my life have hurt me, anyway."
and
"It's not a hold if I can control it myself."

And yeah...

What are reasons you can think of to give this up?
~ What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it. ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
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kalayla
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Post by kalayla » Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:23 pm

well im 28 days free of it but my reasons are

i dont want to hurt tha ones around me

i dont want to keep hurting myself

its something i know i can control
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Stefani140
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Post by Stefani140 » Wed Dec 03, 2008 5:56 pm

Well I am starting over on not SIing, but I have a new list of reasons not to:

I am tired of hurting myself and want to find better ways to deal with life.

I don't want my family to find out I'm still SIing, they think its long behind me.

I don't want any new cuts or scars when I finally see my boyfriend in February.
"Even if you're the lone voice in the wilderness, it does not mean you're wrong."

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indigo_sister
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Post by indigo_sister » Sun Dec 28, 2008 10:52 pm

-because I HATE the marks it leaves on my skin
-because it makes me feel like sh** the next day
-because I have a wonderful daughter
-because it wastes my time and energy

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StevieLynn
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Post by StevieLynn » Mon Jan 19, 2009 6:37 pm

Because, as my T keeps pointing out to me, how can you expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself?

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And it felt like a winter machine that you go through and then you catch your breath and winter starts again, and everyone else was springbound. And when I chose to live, there was no joy, it's just a line I crossed. I wasn't worth the pain my death would cost, so I was not lost or found....But when you live in a world, well, it gets in to who you th ought you'd be. And now I laugh at how the world changed me. I think life chose me after all.
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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Tue Jan 20, 2009 5:38 am

because it's not worth it.


there's other things I can do instead of si that aren't hurtful to myself or other people.
there's other things I can do that don't leave scars.
there's other things I can do that benefit me more in a positive way.
there's other things I can do that I'm not ashamed of.
there's other things I can do so that when I wake up in the morning, I'll be proud of the decision I've made.


:grystar:

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a7xcncangel
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Post by a7xcncangel » Tue Jan 20, 2009 6:13 pm

sidvicious1903 wrote:because it's not worth it.


there's other things I can do instead of si that aren't hurtful to myself or other people.
there's other things I can do that don't leave scars.
there's other things I can do that benefit me more in a positive way.
there's other things I can do that I'm not ashamed of.
there's other things I can do so that when I wake up in the morning, I'll be proud of the decision I've made.


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sunflowerwoman
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Post by sunflowerwoman » Thu Jan 22, 2009 11:47 pm

so that i can feel my feelings: good, bad and indifferent
and deal with it "correctly"

so that i can prove to myself that I'm a better person and that what others say doesn't need make me harm myself!

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Chaocontrol6
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Post by Chaocontrol6 » Fri Jan 23, 2009 11:09 pm

Because causing physical pain to myself is causing one HELL of a lot more pain to those that care for me.

Although things seem unbearable from time to time, that is enough of a reminder for me.

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sunflowerwoman
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Post by sunflowerwoman » Wed Jan 28, 2009 8:38 pm

Why not to SI?


The point of it is to reduce your feelings and to make them a smaller part of you. It's like having a pimple on your face,
and it's hurting you and causing you pain, yet do you squeeze the pimple or just leave it alone?

Once you have done cutting, self-mutulation, and either slip up or have a relapse, there is the same question.
Do you do it to feel alive, to ease your feelings away or reduce your feelings,
ease the cause of the issue that is going on so that you can feel in control, or for attention, or whatever else the reason?

Then there is the the feelings afterward. Like with the pimple it will feel better mostly likely but will there be consequences?
Or will it be ok this time, but possibly not the next?
Or will there be consequences that you don't want to happen?
There could even be results later on that you don't want, that you might not know of right now.

So how do we not cut/ squeeze the pimple.
And how do deal with the feelings around it, or with it?

I think that each person has to find their way and figure it.
One thing could work for one person and another thing could work for antoher person.
But one thing that I like is being able to write and get feed back from others and what they think on this site.
Not only that but helps me to put into perspective what I think and feel about the situation.

That sometimes just writing things out gets it out of your head and actually "see" what you think and feel.

*open to feed back on this

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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Sun Feb 01, 2009 4:33 am

because in the end it hurts more than it helps.

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Neviah
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Post by Neviah » Sun Feb 01, 2009 11:43 pm

because im almost 2 years free

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sunflowerwoman
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Post by sunflowerwoman » Mon Feb 02, 2009 10:33 pm

CONGRATS Neviah!!

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Spidey
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Post by Spidey » Tue Feb 03, 2009 12:56 am

It takes effort and time that I would much rather be spending doing other things.

Like figuring out why Apple made their DVI to VGA adapters so frickin' small. Puds.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
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AaronApx
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Post by AaronApx » Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:43 pm

I really love this description:
The point of it is to reduce your feelings and to make them a smaller part of you.
It feels like drugging away your feelings. Quite possibly nothing will go wrong, but quite possibly if you don't learn how to deal with them in another way, it will go to a further extreme. And after all the good, calming chemicals have been released and used up after SI, I feel like complete crap. It is like being stuck in a rut, where you peak out, but then continue to dig yourself deeper. Might as well crawl out.

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_kbo_
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Post by _kbo_ » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:09 am

because i cant see my moms tears over me again.
because i dont wanna hurt those closest to me.
because i want to break the habit.
because i hope im strong enough to find a better way.
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So get up and wipe away your blood and tears because healing takes time and time is what we lack. ~Alexandria Nicole Lowe

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shannie1985
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Post by shannie1985 » Mon Mar 09, 2009 5:43 pm

I'm tired of seeing the hurt in other people's eyes when they see that I've messed up again and cut.
"When I stand before thee at days end, thou shalt see my scars and know that I've had my wounds and also my healing"
Rabindranath Tagore

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half/hearted
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Post by half/hearted » Mon Mar 09, 2009 9:17 pm

:dkpurpstar: Because I hate to see my mom cry.
:dkpurpstar: Because I hate to see my DAD cry.
:dkpurpstar: Because it perpetuates negative systems of thought in my conscious and subconscious mind.
:dkpurpstar: Because I am over a year free and my life is so much better without cutting.
:dkpurpstar: Because I want to prove to myself and everyone else that I don't need a crutch like SI to hold myself up. I want to stand on my own two feet and walk this road myself.
:dkpurpstar: Because the scars are fading now, and I like seeing my clear skin.
Please be gentle with me.

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no such thing as you "lost it all"
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Post by zombiepeople » Tue Mar 10, 2009 3:56 am

:star: I'm tired of disappointing my friends
:star: I'm tired of hurting my little brother and my dad with this
:star: I'm tired of having to wear a hoodie everyday to school to hide the marks and scars
:star: I want to be able to have a life without relying on this to get through the bad times
"Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song?"
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Heidi4DBT
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Post by Heidi4DBT » Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:10 pm

I have gone without 6 months. I don't want to hurt my love ones anymore. I made a commitment when I started DBT program. I have others skills that are more effective. I want to do great things with my life.

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