I am having a terrible time coping with the loss of someone that was very important in my life for 13 years. I can't seem to cope. I thought I would do okay and I am not.
I can't seem to get it together. I'm scared of everything. I don't want to go out. My cutting is terrible and now because of the cutting I may loose another person that is important to me - but to make myself function I cut. I went 2 months without, but I had to recently because I was doing and facing some things that I haven't faced on 6 months since my loss. It was terrifying, I did it, but I cut and now my another person in my life may leave.
Why can't I get over this person leaving my life? I just don't understand why I'm not doing better?!
Coping with loss *SI
Coping with loss *SI
"We think the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. The healing comes from letting there be room for it all to happen: Room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy." Pema Chodron
"There is room for all of your feelings - take a moment, be quiet and let there be room in your heart and the bursting will ease" C
"What a Long, Strange Trip it's been" Grateful Dead
"There is room for all of your feelings - take a moment, be quiet and let there be room in your heart and the bursting will ease" C
"What a Long, Strange Trip it's been" Grateful Dead
-
BlacKat
- growing roots
- Posts: 877
- Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:44 pm
- Location: Middle of nowhere college, USA
There is no set time for grieving. Our society (I assume you're in the US, but I guess other places are similar) tends not to be comfortable with strong emotions - hence the focus on "just getting over it." It's normal to grieve for a long time for someone important.
That said, it makes it even harder when we're already struggling, especially if it was someone who supported us. I'm not entirely sure what to say right now. If I may ask, why are you about to lose someone else (it's okay if you don't want to answer)?
That said, it makes it even harder when we're already struggling, especially if it was someone who supported us. I'm not entirely sure what to say right now. If I may ask, why are you about to lose someone else (it's okay if you don't want to answer)?
Nox et Dies
No hugs, please. Pretty flowers, butterflies, and cups of tea are appreciated. So are cats. Or random stuff.
No hugs, please. Pretty flowers, butterflies, and cups of tea are appreciated. So are cats. Or random stuff.
When I was first 'sick' 13 - 14 years ago I saw a psychologist, we worked together every weekday because I was so SU and he was an analyst type. He moved after about a year and a half of working together. I was able over the last 7-8 years to not cut and start over a new life without SI and SU, started a family etc..
When I lost the important person (yes she was a great support to me, I didn't even realize what a support to me she was until she was gone) I tried finding a therapist, but no one seemed to fit. I was upset and SI and SU and had no patience.
So I called up the one who worked me years ago and he agreed to see me. We worked together since the end of August. I stopped SI in mid sept. Last Friday I SI because I had to go somewhere I was scared to go on Sunday. I had called him, and told him I wouldn't cut until Sat. but I cut Fri.
He got angry and told me that he wasn't comfortable working with me (and I had worked so hard for 2 months!) and he had to think about his liability and he would have to see what the best course of treatment for me would be. In other words, I am going to loose him because I cut. He said he needs to be able to trust me 100% and he doesn't now.
So I am loosing him too. Talk about shame over SI. I just paniced and did it without thinking. The consequences are too big for me to handle.
When I lost the important person (yes she was a great support to me, I didn't even realize what a support to me she was until she was gone) I tried finding a therapist, but no one seemed to fit. I was upset and SI and SU and had no patience.
So I called up the one who worked me years ago and he agreed to see me. We worked together since the end of August. I stopped SI in mid sept. Last Friday I SI because I had to go somewhere I was scared to go on Sunday. I had called him, and told him I wouldn't cut until Sat. but I cut Fri.
He got angry and told me that he wasn't comfortable working with me (and I had worked so hard for 2 months!) and he had to think about his liability and he would have to see what the best course of treatment for me would be. In other words, I am going to loose him because I cut. He said he needs to be able to trust me 100% and he doesn't now.
So I am loosing him too. Talk about shame over SI. I just paniced and did it without thinking. The consequences are too big for me to handle.
"We think the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. The healing comes from letting there be room for it all to happen: Room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy." Pema Chodron
"There is room for all of your feelings - take a moment, be quiet and let there be room in your heart and the bursting will ease" C
"What a Long, Strange Trip it's been" Grateful Dead
"There is room for all of your feelings - take a moment, be quiet and let there be room in your heart and the bursting will ease" C
"What a Long, Strange Trip it's been" Grateful Dead
-
BlacKat
- growing roots
- Posts: 877
- Joined: Tue Jan 01, 2008 6:44 pm
- Location: Middle of nowhere college, USA
reading and thinking of you, will reply when I can collect my brain 
Nox et Dies
No hugs, please. Pretty flowers, butterflies, and cups of tea are appreciated. So are cats. Or random stuff.
No hugs, please. Pretty flowers, butterflies, and cups of tea are appreciated. So are cats. Or random stuff.
-
Chaocontrol6
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 7168
- Joined: Mon Oct 08, 2007 9:50 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: England, Aged 21
Now that isn't fair for him to leave you on those circumstances is it not? Does he not realise that everybody is human and have their own ways of dealing with things? All you did was made one mistake, nothing big compared to many things that could happen (Such as credit crunches, well done banks...making taxpayers pay for their cock-ups -.-) and he is walking away, just like that.
Can you not talk it through perhaps? Just gather your thoughts, I'm sure he would as well, and talk it all over, where things will be next.
I'm really sorry that it has happened though, it should not happen to anybody
Jason
Can you not talk it through perhaps? Just gather your thoughts, I'm sure he would as well, and talk it all over, where things will be next.
I'm really sorry that it has happened though, it should not happen to anybody
Jason
H.A.L.T!!! (Genius!!)
These feelings too, shall pass. (BUS phrase?)
The power lives in me!(Place)
-
ultimate starshine
- buskateer
- Posts: 19332
- Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 7:28 pm
- Gender: Feeeeeeeeeemale
- Location: Uncivilised Society of the Uk.
thinking of you I am 5th Sections mummy
RDS is my amazing sister
Elmoscaresme is my adorable niece
I am Eisa's Fairy
"The marks I make, The steps I take, Prove i still exist" ~ written by me."
"Never let the fear of striking out... stop you from playing the game" - A cinderella story
Place
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 71 guests