Using grounding to detach from emotional pain
What is grounding?
Grounding is asset of simple strategies to detach from emotional pain (e.g., drug cravings, self-harm impulses, anger, and sadness.) Distractions works by focusing outward on the external world, rather than inward toward the self. You can also think of it as “distractions”, “centering”, “a safe place, and “looking outward”or“healthy detachment
Why do grounding?
When you are overwhelmed with emotional pain, you need to detach so that you can gain control over your feelings and stay safe. As long as you are grounding, you cannot possible use substances to harm yourself! Grounding “anchors” you to the present and to reality.
Many people with PTSD and substance abuse struggle with feeling either too much (overwhelming emotions or memories) or too little (numbing and dissociation). In grounding you attain a balance between the two; conscious of reality and able to tolerate it. Remember that pain is a feeling, it is not who you are. When you get caught up in it, it feels like you are your pain, and that is all that exists. But it is only one part of your experience - the others are just hidden and can be found again through grounding.
Guidelines
Grounding can be done any time, any place, anywhere, and no one has to know

Use grounding when you are faced with a trigger, enraged, disassociating, having a substance craving, or whenever your emotional pain goes above 6 (on a scale of 0-10). Grounding puts healthy distance between you and these negative feelings.

Keep your eyes open, scan the room, and turn the light on to stay in touch with the present

Rate your mood before and after grounding, to test whether it worked. Before grounding, rate your level of emotional pain (0-10 where 10means “extreme pain”). Then rate it afterwards. Has it gone down?

No talking about negative feelings or journal writing - you want to distract away from negative feelings, not to get in touch with them.

Stay neutral – avoid judgments of “good” and “bad”. For examples instead of “The walls are blue, I dislike blue because it reminds me of depression”, simply say “the walls are blue” and move on.

Focus on the present, not the past or future

Not that grounding is not the same as relaxation training. Grounding is much more active, focuses on distraction strategies, and is intended to help extreme negative feelings. It is believed to be more effective then relaxation training for PTSD.
Ways of grounding
There are three major ways of grounding which are described below; Mental, Physical and soothing. Mental means focusing your mind; Physical means focusing on your senses (e.g., touch hearing); and soothing means taking to yourself in a very kind way. You may find that one type works better for you, or all types may be helpful.
Mental Grounding
Describe your environment in detail, using all your sense – for example, “The walls are white, there are five pink chairs; there is a wooden bookshelf against the wall…” describe objects sounds, textures colours, smells, shapes, numbers, and temperature. You can do this anywhere. For example, on the subway (train): “I’m on the subway (train). I’ll see the river son. Those are the windows. This is a bench. The metal bar is silver. The subway (train) map is four colours.”
Play a categories game with yourself. Try to think of “types of dogs”, “musicians”, “states that begin with A”, “cars”, TV shows, writers, sports, songs or favorite cities
Do an age progression. If you have regressed to a younger age (e.g., 8 years old... You can slowly work your way back up (e.g. “I’m 9 now, I’m now 10, I’m now 11…”) until you are back to your current age
Describe an everyday activity in great detail. For example, describe a mean that you cook, (e.g. first I peel the potatoes and cut them into quarters; then boil the water; then make an herb marinade of oregano, basil, garlic and olive oil)
Imagine. Use an image: Glide along on skates away from your pain; change the TV channel to get to a better show; think of a wall as a buffer between you and your pain
Say a safety statement. “My name is __________: I am safe right now. I am in the present, not the past I am located in __________; the date is __________”
Read something. Saying each word to yourself or read each letter backwards so that you focus on the letters and not the meaning of the words
Use humor. Think of something funny to say to yourself to jolt you out of your mood
Count to 10 or say the alphabet very s………l………o…….…..w……..…l……….y
Physical Grounding

Run cool or warm water over your hands

Grab tightly on your chair as hard as you can

Touch various objects around you: a pen, keys, your clothing, the table, and the walls. Notice textures, colours, materials, weight, temperature, compare objects you touch: is one colder? Lighter?

Dig your heels into the floor – literally “grounding” them! Notice the tension center in your heel as you do this. Remind yourself that you are connected to the ground

Carry around a grounding object in your pocket – s small object ( a small rock, clay, a ring, a piece of cloth or yarn) that you can touch whenever you are triggered

Jump up and down

Notice your body: the weight of your body in the chair; wiggling your toes in your socks; the feel of your back against the chair. You are connected to the world.

Stretch. Extent your fingers, arms or legs as far as you can; roll your head around

Clench and release your fists

Walk slowly, noticing each footstep. Saying left or right with each step

Eat something, describing the flavors in detail to yourself

Focus on your breathing, noticing each inhale and exhale. Repeat a pleasant word to yourself on each inhale ( e.g., a favourite colour, or a soothing word such as “safe” or “easy”)
Soothing

Say kind statements, as if you were talking to a small child – for example, “ you are a good person going through a hard time. You’ll get through this”

Think of favourites. Think of your favourite colour, animal. Season, food, time of day, TV show

Picture people you care about (e.g., your children, friends families) and look at photographs of them

Remember the words of an inspiring song, quotation, or poem that makes you feel better (e.g., the AA serenity Prayer)

Remember a safe place. Describe a place that you find very soothing (perhaps the beach or mountains or a favourite room, somewhere in the trails); focus on everything about that place, the sounds, colours, shapes, objects texture.

Say a coping statement “ I can handle this, This feeling will pass”

Plan a safe treat for yourself, such as a piece of candy, a nice dinner, or a warm bath

Think of things you are looking forward to in the next week – perhaps time with a friend, going to a movie or going on a hike
What if grounding doesn’t work?
Grounding does work! But like any other skill, you need to practice to make it as powerful as possible. Below are suggestions to help make it work for you.

Practice as often as possible, even where you don’t need it, so that you’ll know it by heart

Practice faster, speeding up the pace gets you focused on the outside world quickly

Try grounding for a looooooooonnnnnnngggggg time (20-30mins). And repeat, repeat, repeat.

Try to notice which methods you like best – physical, mental, or soothing grounding methods or some combination

Create your own methods of grounding. Any method that you can make up any be worth much more than those you read here, because it’s yours

Start grounding early in a negative mood cycle. Start when a substance craving just starts or when you have just started having flashbacks. Start before anger gets out of control

Make up an Index card on which you list, your best grounding methods and how long to use them

Have others assist you in grounding. Teach friends or family about your grounding, so that they can help guide you if you become overwhelmed

Prepare in advance. Locate places at home, in your care, and at work where you have materials and reminders for grounding

Creates a cassette tape for a grounding message that you can play when needed. Consider asking you therapist or someone close to you to record it if you want to hear someone else’s voice

Think about why grounding works. Why might it be that by focusing on external world, you become more aware of an inner peacefulness? Notice the methods that work for you – why might those be more powerful for you than other methods?

Don’t give up
From seeking safety by Lisa M.Najavits (2002)