help controlling impulsive SI?

[the edge of the world]

I don't really know what happens, but when I'm angry/frustrated or stressed, I'll suddenly find myself hitting or scratching myself. It usually takes a second to realize and stop myself. It happens far more when I'm alone, thank god, so I don't look too loony, but... I'd really like to gain some control over it.

It's worse now because I haven't cut in a while (because I want to go swimming on my senior class trip). It's embarrassing to hide my claw marks on my arms. Plus, I start off sometimes if I'm stressed and driving, and that's just kinda scary (I'm afraid I might have a stronger impulse and find myself plowed into a wall or something). It's not a huge issue, but it makes me nervous.

Any ideas?

[Licentia Poetica]

*nods*

When SI is more along the lines of a "nervous" type thing that you do unconsciously, rather than knowingly, it's trickier. At least for me.

I guess you really need to try to be aware of what you are doing with your hands.

You can carry stressballs and stuff around which can be a good release of tension and give you something to do with your hands. I'm always wearing jewellery that I play with or elastic bands that I twist around my fingers a lot.

These things can become habits, and at the same time your "scratching" or whatever can become an "un-habit"

It also might be worth looking at why you're feeling so nervous, and try to track it. Possibly it couuld be to do with certain situations, or people, or even times of day. Maybe talk to your T?

Hope it helps. I know how frustrating this can be. I have awful dermatillomania scarring that for some reason is more scary to me than my actual SI in a lot of ways.

El.

[Maeve]

That sounds really familiar; it gets to be such a reliable habit that I've found myself automatically reaching for a blade without hardly thinking first. Now I'm in DBT, though, and you're required to call your T first if you want to SI, and then the 2 of u have to talk about options and things u could do instead. This does help a bit with the urges, 'cause you actually have to stop and call, and by the time you hang up the phone the urge has usually dies down a bit.

Perhaps if u can make an agreement with a friend or if you can train yourself to call a hotline first, that might help a bit. (I say "train" because u really do have to force yourself to slow down after getting the impulse to SI, and calling first takes a bit of getting used to.)

I've done the cutting while driving thing too, and have come *very* close to wrecking a few times...I wouldn't recommend it.

Not sure if this helps at all...but yeah

[dncn4lyfe77]

For me it helps to write something down. So its a hard copy, and right there in front of me

I type out a list, of what I'm going to do when I catch myself subconsciously SI'ing or if I find myself wanting to SI, just to SI, or even if I want to do it because I am stressed.

I printed out 6 copies of the list and posted them places where I can see.

One is on my bulletin board in my room.

One is on my mirror.

Another is taped to the first aid kit that I get out before I SI.

Yet another is taped to the razor cartridges in my bathroom

Another is taped to the top of my coping box.

And the last one is in my purse, just in case I find the urge to SI when I'm not home.


Sounds really over the top I know. But it helps.


<3 sare

[the edge of the world]

thank you sare, maeve, el!

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el:

Good ideas. I'll work on keeping my hands busy and talk to my T about possible reasons

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maeve:

I don't really have a chance to "want to SI" before the more impulsive things. It's much more of a nervous habit like twitching. thanks, though I should try to make a plan for the less impulsive times, too.

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sare:

*adds this* I'm curious, what's on that list?

[teacher2B]

I do that a lot too, especially when I'm trying not to do more "damaging" forms of si (cutting, etc.) One thing that helps is really trying to be aware of the fact that I'm doing it. For instance, I tend to bite my knuckles when I'm nervous, so, rather than realizing it after my finger is in my mouth, I try to catch it as my finger is headed in that direction and stop it. Same with scratching. I try to stop as my fingers are headed for my arm. Another thing that helps iwth that is to cut my fingernails really short--it doesn't completely stop it, but it makes me more aware of doing it.