Counting Question

[WriteOn]

Hi,

I see a lot of messages on here that say "xxx days SI-free" or some semblance of it. I don't count the days since I last slipped or had trouble. It seems that if I do, I go nuts trying to match and beat numbers. And then if I don't, I might get down about the differentiation in statistics.

It is my understanding that time goes on no matter what, and that if I lose count--for any reason--I just start over. I respect people's choices to count or not count, but I want to understand more.

Can you tell me what makes counting helpful for you?

Peace,
WriteOn

[plantt]

was just going to add in that you're not the only one who finds it unhelpful to count.
when i think back i can come up with general timeframes for stuff.
i don't find it helpful to count or to use the term 'slip'....

[5th section]

I find counting helpful because it provides landmarks - the first day, week, month etc. - and that helps me push back the limits and think about how much longer I can go. eg. if I can manage a wekk, can I do another week?...if I can do 2 weeks, can I push that up to a month? etc. etc.
Also if the urges come on badly I can take it one day at a time and think of every day as putting one more day between me and SI, rather than looking at the vast amount of future that I've committed to not SIing and getting scared by it.
does that make sense? (I'm not suggesting my way is better or worse than anyone else's, whether it onvolves counting or not. but it works for me...usually...)

[Anactoria]

I don't count days, really... just months, which is why I only have a date in my signature and not xxxx amount of days.

I find it helpful for most of the same reasons that 5th section does- if I can do a month, why not two months? Why not three months?

However, it can also be a bit of a setback when you realize that you always slip around a certain number of days without SI- you get in the mentality that you cannot make it past say, a month, because you never do.

So... overall... it's good and it's bad, I think.

[Scatterbrain]

Counting usually works as a motivator for me. I count days up 100, then it just turns into months... Right now I have 75 days free. If I have a really bad urge, my first reaction is to think "ok, I have 75 days free, that means I have gotten through 75 days of urges, so why wouldnt I be able to make it through this one..." counting forces me to look at how far I have come (usually a good thing...) but also makes me think about the future... i hope that made sense...

~Megan

[balletomane]

I didn't find it helpful to count when I was trying to stop. But now that I've stopped hurting myself, it's cool to be able to say it's been almost a year since I hurt myself. It's nice to be able to see how far I've come.

[JustAlittleBitBroken]

I had gone for 2 years without cutting, and then the other night i relapsed and cut again. Then last night I did it again. Counting has in a small way helped me because it has made me realize how long i really can go without hurting myself, but at the same time things have gone from bad to worse lately, and my whole life is falling apart, and now i have to start the counting all over again

[the edge of the world]

Long explanation to agree with you:

Whenever I figure out how long it has been since the last time I SIed (which isn't too often, because I don't pay attention... and I only do when I think I haven't SIed in a while), I seem to go back to it very quickly. Though... those breaks are usually the same time frame (about two weeks), so maybe it's not the actual counting that is unhelpful but the time frame.... Noting that I'm not really trying to stop (though I am trying to work on stuff behind it and as a result not feel as if I need/want to SI, so I'm not trying to perpetuate it, either), but I think it would only get me down to count if I were to try to stop.

[kelsta]

i find counting really unhelpful. if i make a plan to not cut for 2 weeks or what ever time frame, the urge to cut intensifies because it is like i want to do it only for the reason i don't want to let myself do it. it tends to be more damaging once i have broken my own record because teh urge is so strong that i need to cut much more or deeper than what i did before my time frame. it is more helpful for me to go with teh flow and if i slip up, i don't have the added disappointment and quilt that i would have if i was counting.
i hope i am making sense.
saying all that i do understand why ppl count. it gives them a goal and once they reach it, they can have a positive feeling about stopping and have more faith in themselves. it is just teh opposite for me.

[JustAlittleBitBroken]

I totally understand where you are coming from. Now I'm totally confused lol if that makes any sense. I see your point, and I actually agree with it, so now I don't know what to think anymore. You guys will find me doing that alot here. I think I know how I feel about something, then I hear someone else's explanation and how they feel about it, and I change my mind, and all of the sudden I'm totally confused again. I don't know if I'm making too much sense right now. I'm just in a really bad place at the moment.

[WriteOn]

Thanks a lot for all your replies. I see what you're saying about milestones and such.

I just wonder, sometimes, if identifying a starting point doesn't tether one to revisit the incident.

Definitely food for thought. Thanks again

Be well,
-WriteOn

[dncn4lyfe77]

It helps me see that I'm making progress, so I can say "ive made it so far without cutting, I can make it one more day" if im having bad urges

[mywildrainbow]

i only count in terms of weeks si-free and if i "slip" then i have to start all over again.

it motivates me to stay si free to try and beat my personal best records

my personal best is 6 months
my current si-freeness is 8 weeks

mwr