Advice?

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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kendra
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Advice?

Post by kendra » Fri Mar 16, 2007 8:02 am

I've been really easily triggered lately and at random times (useually I'm pretty good at identifying my triggers, but lately other things have been showing up).
I know I have been stressed a lot and I know that has something to do with it but even when I have been feeling pretty safe or in a good mood something will happen and I will get really anxious.
What scares me and makes things difficult is it has been happening at school a lot, which can be good and bad. On the one hand I'm really unlikely to act on my feelings, but a lot of the coping strategies I can use are ones I do at home so the feelings just build and then I can't concentrate and it just sorta snowballs from there. I'm attempting to ask a friend to be there when I need to talk but that's taking a while.
Anyone have any ideas or advice for dealing with triggers when you can't really run off somewhere and have a good yell or take a nice shower or something like that? Any ideas for maybe dealing with stress in general since this seems like it may be my main problem at the moment that is putting me on edge?
Thank you all

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miffy
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Post by miffy » Fri Mar 16, 2007 10:24 am

Hi Kendra,

:1hug:

I read and hear what you are saying. I often feel triggered at work, when i cant do what i would normally do (meditate, have a bath, knit etc). I've been stuggling to find an alternative. I tend to go to the bathroom, sit on the toilet and do some deep breathing exercises (or i go somewhere really quiet at lunchtime where i know i will not be disturbed). Close my eyes, focus on a clean, pure air entering my body on an in breath through my nose, going down into my lungs and then focus on exhaling a big breath through my mouth, and imagining that it is taking all the stress with it. This out breath is usually a murky yellow colour in my mind when i focus on it. I do that as many times as i need, usually about 10, but could be more if i am really triggered.

I don't know whether this sort of thing would be practical for you to do at school, and of course it may not help you at all, but its an idea.

Any clue as to what is making you stressed?

Hugs and hopes that things get better for you

Miffy

:bcatsmile:

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kendra
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Post by kendra » Sat Mar 17, 2007 6:58 am

Thanks for the idea/ reply miffy I will try it.
I'm really not quite sure what is causing all the stress(at least to this extent) I have a lot of papers due at school (but not really more than useual, and I don't stress normally), there's a long breakup with the bf with things coming up all the time (this is the only thing that I can really think of), I am still sad about my cat but I've accepted it and accepting being sad for a while about it. It seems like there is something more though that I can't place, and I think just not being able to place whatever else would be stressing me is frustrating me.
I think I'm going to try bringing my journal too and put it in an organizer so I don't look wierd in class writing in some journal.
At this point I am open to pretty much any idea

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frankie6
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Post by frankie6 » Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:06 am

hey - sorry you're stressing. not sure by the way you can find any particular cause, sometimes you just feel bad and everything together seems to come up. If you can find your triggers though it might be easier to avoid/handle them.
Getting some quiet 'alone time' is a great suggestion (if you have any quiet corner at school you like and can 'recharge' there..). I think some things that might help me - drinking something nice and hot (coffee/tea/hot chocolate) taking your time with it, feeling like you're treating yourself well (hot chocolate can go a long way :Fade-color ). Something else that seemed to be wroking for me at least for the general feeling thing is finding friends you can have a good laugh with (or alternatively a good talk) and just spend a break with them - it's quite opposite than alone time, but sometimes (for me) it can eally turn how I'm feeling.
Journaling might really work - I never tried it outside home but it's a good idea.
Hope it's working out! take care!
******
"The birds they sang at the break of day
Start again I heard them say
Don't dwell on what has passed away
or what is yet to be"

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katja
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Post by katja » Sat Apr 14, 2007 1:14 pm

I think the most sensible advice I can give (although you probably won't want to act on it) is tell your teachers that your struggling with things. I never did in school, and as a result I got into a lot of trouble and did badly in my exams and instead of trying to help me all my teachers put more pressure on me.
This year in university my doctor has written a note to my lecturer, and Last year in college I told my teacher I was having problems and it made them much more understanding and helpful.
Tell them you feel like this, and perhaps ask them that if when you feel triggered and feel like you need some alone time you could leave lesson discreetly (perhaps use going to the toilet or the library as an excuse) and take 5 minutes to gather your thoughts or journal, or call a friend or your mom or dad. I'm pretty sure they would be helpful. The thing is if you let many people help you its like having an army against your self harm and it stops being you just trying to cope alone xxx

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