i don't make sense but am so confused and need help

[**The Moon Is All Alone**]

I’m confused and lost and I don’t think this is going to make sense but its my last hope and I really don’t know what else to do.
I think that I harm to escape from where I am although it brings me back, back to the pain and the hurt but I have a kind of clarity so I escape by harming and it brings me back how can it do both?
So what happens if you don’t harm?
Does that mean that you don’t escape but surly if you are thinking of harming are you ever really there in the first place and then where is that the place before you escape is it life or torture beauty or pain.
So then if you don’t harm you can’t return either but if you never left and you never return where are you.
That’s how I’m feeling I have not left I have not returned and therefore I don’t know where I am.
Can anyone please tell me I’m completely lost and it doesn’t make sense nothing does will it ever end will I ever find a way?

[half/hearted]

I hear you. I know it doesn't make sense right now...but it will. I promise you. Sometimes I'm lost and confused and the world makes no sense at all, but then other times everything becomes clear, and I can see the path before me and follow it.

I know it's really hard to hang on when it feels like this, when you don't know how to escape or whether escape would be real or what...but it's like being tumbled by stormy seas--you just gotta hold on, because you are going to come up soon...I promise.

take care of yourself hon...

[heartonmysleave]

I know its a really hard to believe, and really cliche as well. but it _will_ get better. and one day you will find a way to deal without SI. and you'll be ok without it because you'll have found a way to cope. you just need to hold on.

sorry. I know that doesn't really help you right now.