I miss me *SU*

[joeygirl]

I have probably posted this in the wrong place but I can't be bothered thinking now.

What ways to others deal with the hurt they create in the lives of loved ones?

I have hurt my whole family and my best friend. I can't go on like this much longer. I miss being me. I don't know who or what I am anymore.

It seems to me there are only 2 options left now. Continue with this nonsence of trying to get help and not succeeding or to die. I'm sure everyone will be somewhat sad but they will get over this more quickly than living with me like I am. It seems like a game of Russian roulette and it's only a matter of time before things end once and for all.

Any encouraging words would be most welcome right now.
JG

[one out of none]

Hi,
I'm so sorry to see that you're feeling so bad at the moment. I can understand exactly what you are saying, because that's pretty much where I was this time three years ago. I posted this to say that it can get better. I can't emphasise that enough. I know it sounds useless but it's true. The depression takes away your sense of self, and as you say, you don't really know who you are any more. But as you start to get better (and everyone has the potential to get better) that will start to come back. Finding a T that you like is important too. It makes the whole process seem less unending, and more positive in general.

Regarding your family and friends, I am sure that the hurt that they may be experiencing now, is nothing compared to what they would feel if you were gone. I lost a friend through SU, and it still hurts today. I think of her every single day.

I thought that there was no way out, I thought that life was worthless. But I had a turning point, when I realised that things couldn't get any worse and the only way to go was up. Now, I have my life back, more or less. The reason I'm telling you this is to show you that it can be done. The situation is not irretrevable, and there is still hope.

I know that I didn't have much advice there, I just wanted to reply to say that I care, and it can get better.
So please take care. I'm here if you need anything btw.
Sarah

[Spidey]

i heard this on tv: it is much better for your family and friends to live <i>with</i> you than <i>without</i> you.

what you think will be saving them grief - dying - is actually going to cause them MORE grief. because even if things are bad, they can at least *try* to reassure you. and even if you have hurt them, they still love you, and they still want you to live if not physically be around.

[joeygirl]

Thanks guys. I feel a bit better today. When I am rational I know you are all right. Just can't predectict when I am not rational. I still feel pretty much over everything but I am going to continue to fight for me.

Thanks agaion for the replies.