How do you prevent "not coping" emotionally?

[Licentia Poetica]

Recently, a few things have happened in my life which have caused me stress. It seems like everything has been building up. Yesterday I found myself lost & very, very alone. Physically and consciously I know I haven't been coping lately. But when I found myself "not coping" yesterday.. it felt very scary and very sudden.

Sometimes, when it happens suddenly like that, and you weren't in a great place to begin with, you end up in a place where you feel so bad you're to scared to ask for help, and you can't pull yourself out of it. So really, there's nowhere to go but down.

It seems to me, that as humans, we do a lot to care about our physical health. We take vitamins, we try to eat right, we exercise, etc. Or even if we don't do those things, there's this general understanding, or I guess, formula for physically taking care of yourself. If you start to sniffle, you use vicks, if you cough, you buy cough medicine, if you have a fever, you use a cold towel on your forehead, and if all that doesn't work, you go to the doctor.

How is it that I can spend hours every day dressing up, putting on make up, doing my hair, and making sure I'm feeling okay physically, but when it comes to my heart, or my emotional well-being - I can be a small crisis away from suicide, and not even notice?

Why can't I take measures to caution myself against breaking down on the inside? Why can't I learn how to dress my psyche & make sure it's feeling and looking okay before I end up in situations that I can't cope with?

Life situations don't come in pill boxes. There's no label to warn you just how many conversations with your ex-boyfriend your body can handle. There's no rule book that tells you how much stress of university work is an overdose. There's no formula for the fatal dose of anxiety.

So.. my question is.. how do you know when you're "not coping"? How do you recognise when one more thing will push you over the edge?

[flipflopfetish]

I really have no clue, but I can guess

I read this study in some magazine about hunger and dieting, and how most people aren't in tune with themselves or something, and can't recognize when they feel hungry. The problem is, I can't remember what the article said to do.

Sorry I'm not helpful

[Oceanic]

Your post really got me thinking.

For me, a big part of taking care of my emotional/psychological side is taking care of myself physically. When I make sure to go to the gym, when I eat healthily, when I dress nicely and make myself look nice appearance-wise, my emotional side stays healthy, so to speak.

Other ways I take care of myself emotionally are staying in touch with close friends during happy times as well as sad, making sure to spend some time alone every day, and some time being social, giving myself time to read, making sure to get outside every day.

I guess I kind of view it as more of a preventative thing than anything else. Sort of like how people take vitamin c during flu season. when I know I have to do things that aren't easy for me or that I'm going to be in a stressful situation, I try and do something nice for myself beforehand, or get in touch with a friend and let him or her know that I might need something.

I'm not sure how you know when you get close to the edge of emotional coping (or not coping, rather). I think that happens more and more the better you know yourself. To some degree, things will suprise us - always. For the rest of our lives. That's part of being human - that some things just catch us off gaurd because we are emotional beings. But, I think, that as we get to know ourselves better and better, we get better at recognizing our proximity to that edge of not-coping.

hope this made any kind of sense.
sarah

[Scatterbrain]

When I eat regular meals and keep myself in better shape phyisically, I tend to cope better too. This last week, I havent been eating right, and I havent been coping well either. That kinda snowballed and turned into bad times... This is a cool topic. Sorry I dont really have any advice... I have been curious about this too.

~Megan

[black_23]

What you wrote really struck me because that's exactly how I've been feeling lately. I guess I start noticing that I'm not coping when I get really sensitive over things people say or start panicing over the small silly things like washing not drying in time (yep silly I know). But I'm not sure how you catch it before you get to that stage. I know I cope better when I'm eating proper and have some me time, to think about things rather than everything washing over me and just functioning. My b/f is also quite good at spotting when I'm not coping now, even before I'm aware of it and he tends to point it out. I wish I had some more/proper advice to offer, sorry, but your not alone. Take care.