Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
- Scatterbrain
- bus conductor
- Posts: 5074
- Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
- Location: Washington state, USA
I'm scared. I cant do this on my own. You seem to think that I have it all under control. wtf? Thats why I came to you in the first place. I needed help, I wanted you to help me find someone to help me. Now I have to call the goddamn hospital and get lost in the fucking bureaucracy while I'm calling and trying to find the name of a T for myself. fuck you. I had this stupid, niave idea that you would help me and I wouldnt have to do this on my own anymore. Wow, I was wrong.
~Megan
~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
- mephistopheles
- cow control
- Posts: 24355
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
- Location: London
- Quiet little Angel
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7754
- Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
- Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...
please come visit me... please... someone...
/May
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
- Scatterbrain
- bus conductor
- Posts: 5074
- Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
- Location: Washington state, USA
Thank you so much for helping me when no one else will. I'm sorry you have to see this side of me. I really am sorry. I wish you didnt have to see the paranoid, impulsive, angry, emotional, reading-into-things, and scared side of me. But then again, the fact that you are still here has to count for something. I'm sorry I flipped out again and had to call you. No matter how many times you say its ok, I will always feel bad calling you... I care about you so much, and I'm so glad that I opened up to you in August. You are all I have right now... sometimes I wish YOU were my dad...
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
- powdahchica
- growing roots
- Posts: 960
- Joined: Mon Sep 06, 2004 10:53 pm
I love you... and I can't believe how scary those words are. When you move I don't know what I'll do without my one person who understands. It hurts so much to realize that you don't feel the same way. I wish you could love me.
<a href="http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=121893">Love must be as much a light as it is a flame.</a>
{My Place}
{My Place}
I want to make everything OK for you and I can't.
What's more, I want you to turn to me, to find comfort in my arms but it's not me that you want. I know you are still in love with C, you never made any secret of that but when she wouldn't even answer the phone to you or reply to your letters I figured that I was still in with a shot of being the 'next best thing' and that would have done.
But now, when you really need someone, it's her that you have turned to and she has taken you in and comforted you in a way that I'll never be able to do.
I can't tell you how much I'm hurting now, god knows, that's the last thing you need on top of all the other guilt that's going on in your head right now. And I certainly can't tell her, I can't admit the feelings that I have for you. Still, I suspect you know and it wouldn't suprise me if she knows too.
And yet we still go on, each in our little world of pain, each trying to care for the others, never looking too deeply at ourselves. I love you, you love C, C sees me as a friend she can confide in about you and so it goes.
Even having these thoughts is so selfish, you are the one who really has reason to hurt now, I have no problems except the ones I make for myself. And yet, I do hurt, I want to tear myself apart.
I know I shouldn't, I can't cover more fresh injuries at training tomorrow and I suspect that if I don't train tommorrow I will just never go back.
Why can't I cry? if I could cry for you and me and C and what might never be for us all maybe that would help.
I wonder if I'll ever tell you what I do to myself on the bad nights, I wonder if you even realise that I have bad nights. Stupid question, you are the one who dressed me and dragged me out when I hadn't stopped crying for 2 days straight. You know about bad days. But now isn't the time. I'm not sure it ever will be.
I need to move to another level of friendship now, one where I put your happiness above all else, and accept that C can do more for you know than I can.
What's more, I want you to turn to me, to find comfort in my arms but it's not me that you want. I know you are still in love with C, you never made any secret of that but when she wouldn't even answer the phone to you or reply to your letters I figured that I was still in with a shot of being the 'next best thing' and that would have done.
But now, when you really need someone, it's her that you have turned to and she has taken you in and comforted you in a way that I'll never be able to do.
I can't tell you how much I'm hurting now, god knows, that's the last thing you need on top of all the other guilt that's going on in your head right now. And I certainly can't tell her, I can't admit the feelings that I have for you. Still, I suspect you know and it wouldn't suprise me if she knows too.
And yet we still go on, each in our little world of pain, each trying to care for the others, never looking too deeply at ourselves. I love you, you love C, C sees me as a friend she can confide in about you and so it goes.
Even having these thoughts is so selfish, you are the one who really has reason to hurt now, I have no problems except the ones I make for myself. And yet, I do hurt, I want to tear myself apart.
I know I shouldn't, I can't cover more fresh injuries at training tomorrow and I suspect that if I don't train tommorrow I will just never go back.
Why can't I cry? if I could cry for you and me and C and what might never be for us all maybe that would help.
I wonder if I'll ever tell you what I do to myself on the bad nights, I wonder if you even realise that I have bad nights. Stupid question, you are the one who dressed me and dragged me out when I hadn't stopped crying for 2 days straight. You know about bad days. But now isn't the time. I'm not sure it ever will be.
I need to move to another level of friendship now, one where I put your happiness above all else, and accept that C can do more for you know than I can.
- Always look towards the sunshine and your shadows will fall behind you -
- TheRockingHorse
- quintessential regular
- Posts: 2032
- Joined: Sun May 06, 2007 7:28 pm
why did you run away to his house?
why wont u tell anyone what you did with him?
did you do it with him?
what if you are pregnant?
do you care how much u made us worry?
do u care about anyone but yourself?
why do u hurt us like this?
why wont u tell anyone what you did with him?
did you do it with him?
what if you are pregnant?
do you care how much u made us worry?
do u care about anyone but yourself?
why do u hurt us like this?
I said to the sun, tell me about the Big Bang
The sun said, 'It hurts to become.'
Andrea Gibson
My Place
A living room wall with awkwardly placed photographs hiding fist-shaped holes
The sun said, 'It hurts to become.'
Andrea Gibson
My Place
A living room wall with awkwardly placed photographs hiding fist-shaped holes
- Wall
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 18928
- Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 4:06 am
- Location: Hiding
- Contact:
It's been a year and a half since the move and I still wonder why you didn't care about me enough to ask. I still wonder if it's that I did something wrong or simply that you had different priorities. I still wonder if I expected too much. I know it's the whole authority figure thing, the reason why this all matters. I wish it had mattered to you and I still wonder why it didn't.
When we passed by on the highway on the way into town.....I did everything I could to ignore, forget and avoid thinking abou where I was. I hate to think of even looking at the building. It's all too much.
I can't see your name without cringing. It's a stab of recognition and of pain and I wonder whether it will ever go away.
When we passed by on the highway on the way into town.....I did everything I could to ignore, forget and avoid thinking abou where I was. I hate to think of even looking at the building. It's all too much.
I can't see your name without cringing. It's a stab of recognition and of pain and I wonder whether it will ever go away.
Fearless warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle
Somewhere in the Middle
Casting Crowns
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle
Somewhere in the Middle
Casting Crowns
- flipflopfetish
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6119
- Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:49 am
- Location: People's Republic of Berzerkley
- Contact:
Dear X,
I can't sleep. I just realized how guilty I am and how worried I am about you. I wish I had done things differently, and I wish I had been there for you. We aren't really as close anymore now, since I disappeared for a while. And I'm not entirely sure what, if anything, is wrong. I don't really know what to say or do. But believe me, I feel awful and I sincerely wish that things could be like they were before.
Love,
Emily
I can't sleep. I just realized how guilty I am and how worried I am about you. I wish I had done things differently, and I wish I had been there for you. We aren't really as close anymore now, since I disappeared for a while. And I'm not entirely sure what, if anything, is wrong. I don't really know what to say or do. But believe me, I feel awful and I sincerely wish that things could be like they were before.
Love,
Emily
- Place -- please visit me!<br>
Photobucket
"I'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit Irish"~ Rufus Wainwright
art by P!nk Elephant
zombie emily
Please, PLEASE say that to my face. Please. I beg of you. I know you won't because you're a balless wonder, but hey, I can dream, right?
Man you sure talk a good talk but walking and you just don't seem to collide.
...And in this conjecture, I wish it would have, because daaaaaaamn the looks on everyone's face when I calmly, rationally and with damn good reasoning explained why you are wrong would have been priceless. (And yes, I emphasise "calmly and rationally and with damn good reasoning" because you're too fucking hysterical to *ever* do something like this)
Man you sure talk a good talk but walking and you just don't seem to collide.
...And in this conjecture, I wish it would have, because daaaaaaamn the looks on everyone's face when I calmly, rationally and with damn good reasoning explained why you are wrong would have been priceless. (And yes, I emphasise "calmly and rationally and with damn good reasoning" because you're too fucking hysterical to *ever* do something like this)
-marya hornbacher
spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)
- Porcelain_Doll
- growing roots
- Posts: 985
- Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 11:45 pm
- Location: New Hampshire
SU
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Fuck you all. I am not okay. I am not okay. I am not okay. I want to just end it. I want to be done with it all.
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Fuck you all. I am not okay. I am not okay. I am not okay. I want to just end it. I want to be done with it all.
Last edited by Porcelain_Doll on Wed May 16, 2007 11:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
-Edgar Allan Poe
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=110034
-Edgar Allan Poe
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=110034
- marshmallowfluff
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 16914
- Joined: Tue Aug 16, 2005 11:52 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: South Yorkshire, UK Age: 26
im not coping today. at all. i want the dreams to stop. i want her to start doing something to help. she does absolutely nothing, and i have so s much to do today but no energy to do it. I have exams in 5 days, but can't revise for them cos im to busy doing fucking housework.
"Dance like no one's watching.
Love like you'll never be hurt.
Sing like there's nobody listening.
And live like it's heaven on earth."
- mephistopheles
- cow control
- Posts: 24355
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
- Location: London
fuck you and your melodramatic bullshit.
yes i'll be there in twenty minutes but really you should deal with it yourself you fucking reject!
exams dude. i have exams. revision.
i dont need you doing this right now.
yes i'll be there in twenty minutes but really you should deal with it yourself you fucking reject!
exams dude. i have exams. revision.
i dont need you doing this right now.
- 5th section
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7753
- Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
- Contact:
I don't think you'd laugh if it happened to you
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- Licentia Poetica
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 24935
- Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Australia
- Contact:
Can you please just pretend to care?
If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins
- wilson
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7567
- Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2006 2:06 am
- Location: aussie-land Age: eighteen
- Contact:
thankyou for showing me that your not a friend. just a fucking backstabber
<center>R.I.P. 23/07/89 - 05/11/01
R.I.P. 1953-2008
counting stars
im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>
R.I.P. 1953-2008
counting stars
im over existing in limbo
im over the myths and placebos
i dont really mind if i just fade away
</center>
- troubles undone
- post laureate
- Posts: 11021
- Joined: Mon May 01, 2006 2:30 pm
- Location: London Age:19
- Contact:
do you know how much it fucking hurts to know you dont like "what ive become"?
cant you just be a little less self centered. for one fucking moment in your life, and pay attention to the people around you, and how much you are hurting them?
i dont know about anyone else, but im fed up of the comments and snide remarks when you think im out of earshot.
and your meant to be my best friend ='[
cant you just be a little less self centered. for one fucking moment in your life, and pay attention to the people around you, and how much you are hurting them?
i dont know about anyone else, but im fed up of the comments and snide remarks when you think im out of earshot.
and your meant to be my best friend ='[
"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love is just a hoax
so forget anything that you have heard
And live for the moment now"
"VITA YOY EST VIVERE SED VALERE VITA EST."
-There is more to life than just being alive.
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