Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!
secrets
-- I lie too much, I'm drowning in all my lies
-- I love darkness, but I'm scared to be alone in the dark
-- I have told more about myself to my dog than any person
-- My ED is destroying my life
-- I get sad when I'm lonely, but I purposefuly isolate myself
-- I want someone to understand me
-- I love darkness, but I'm scared to be alone in the dark
-- I have told more about myself to my dog than any person
-- My ED is destroying my life
-- I get sad when I'm lonely, but I purposefuly isolate myself
-- I want someone to understand me
** Ali **
- flipflopfetish
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6119
- Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:49 am
- Location: People's Republic of Berzerkley
- Contact:
I am a bitch, I alienate people, and I really want someone to read this and tell me they love me but no one does and the one person who seemed to care a little bit more is now not speaking to me and that is not fair because all my other friends are very nice to me & caring & shit it is my fault because I am demanding and paranoid and needy and ignore everything i've said here if you're reading this it's just me being fucked up emotionally.
- Place -- please visit me!<br>
Photobucket
"I'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit Irish"~ Rufus Wainwright
art by P!nk Elephant
zombie emily
- flipflopfetish
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6119
- Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:49 am
- Location: People's Republic of Berzerkley
- Contact:
no seriously, why does everyone leave?
pm*s requested
pm*s requested
- Place -- please visit me!<br>
Photobucket
"I'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit Irish"~ Rufus Wainwright
art by P!nk Elephant
zombie emily
- MusicalMorphine
- growing roots
- Posts: 819
- Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:51 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Hastings, England
-
- unpacking boxes
- Posts: 68
- Joined: Tue Jun 21, 2005 7:27 pm
- Location: ny
- Contact:
- Licentia Poetica
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 24935
- Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Australia
- Contact:
Part of me is scared I'm not as miserable as I used to be years ago - and that I can't even tell the difference. That's how far up I still have to go
If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins
- half/hearted
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1728
- Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:49 am
- Gender: androgyne
- Location: suburbia
*comments fine--PM*
Part of me wants more scars the way a punk rocker wants tattoos...even though it would be even harder to hide from my family.
I feel guilty (!?) for not SI'ing more seriously (my cuts are not deep and the scars fade quickly), even though I know this is a sign that my self-preservation instinct is alive and kicking, and part of me still loves me and protects me.
Part of me hates my mother.
.
.
.
Part of me wishes my mother had never stopped physically abusing me, so that I could call child protective services and get to go away from her
Part of me wants more scars the way a punk rocker wants tattoos...even though it would be even harder to hide from my family.
I feel guilty (!?) for not SI'ing more seriously (my cuts are not deep and the scars fade quickly), even though I know this is a sign that my self-preservation instinct is alive and kicking, and part of me still loves me and protects me.
Part of me hates my mother.
.
.
.
Part of me wishes my mother had never stopped physically abusing me, so that I could call child protective services and get to go away from her
Please be gentle with me.
you will fly and you will crawl
god knows even angels fall
no such thing as you "lost it all"
god knows even angels fall
you will fly and you will crawl
god knows even angels fall
no such thing as you "lost it all"
god knows even angels fall
- flipflopfetish
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6119
- Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2005 3:49 am
- Location: People's Republic of Berzerkley
- Contact:
fine, i'll admit it. i don't actually want to go to new york. it scares me that i'll have to be with my family for extended amounts of time.
- Place -- please visit me!<br>
Photobucket
"I'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit Irish"~ Rufus Wainwright
art by P!nk Elephant
zombie emily
- half/hearted
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1728
- Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:49 am
- Gender: androgyne
- Location: suburbia
- Quiet little Angel
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7754
- Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
- Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...
i admit it... i've been planning to lie to him... pretend to send a text ment for someone else to him by mistake... just to have an excuse to ask him if he really dispices me that much... i want to lie cause that way i wouldn't look like that stupid once he says he doesn't want to date me... i lie too much IRL...
/May
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
- beautiful_facade
- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6342
- Joined: Sat Jan 04, 2003 12:24 am
- Location: getting closer to the light at the end of the tunnel
*PMs welcome*
i thought i had buried the things that happened, but i haven't at all.
As i start to get better and go out more, it's becoming more and more obvious.
i can't function around other people. i struggle to sustain friendships a lot of the time; relationships with the opposite sex are impossible.
So i get really drunk in order just to appear normal, and then i regret it.
i'm scared now that it always going to be this way. But at the same time, i don't want it to change.
i thought i had buried the things that happened, but i haven't at all.
As i start to get better and go out more, it's becoming more and more obvious.
i can't function around other people. i struggle to sustain friendships a lot of the time; relationships with the opposite sex are impossible.
So i get really drunk in order just to appear normal, and then i regret it.
i'm scared now that it always going to be this way. But at the same time, i don't want it to change.
<center>The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeing new landscapes but in having new eyes.
Proust
<a href="http://www.punkymoods.com" title="Punkymoods (Unkymoods redux): Showcase your current mood"><img src="http://www.punkymoods.com/mood.php?userid=2390" alt="My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)" border="0"></a>
If I bore you, that is that. If I am clumsy, that may indicate partly the difficulty of my subject, and the seriousness with which I am trying to take what hold I can of it; more certainly, it will indicate my youth, my lack of mastery of my so-called art or craft, my lack perhaps of talent…
A piece of the body torn out by the roots might be more to the point.
James Agee.
Proust
<a href="http://www.punkymoods.com" title="Punkymoods (Unkymoods redux): Showcase your current mood"><img src="http://www.punkymoods.com/mood.php?userid=2390" alt="My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)" border="0"></a>
If I bore you, that is that. If I am clumsy, that may indicate partly the difficulty of my subject, and the seriousness with which I am trying to take what hold I can of it; more certainly, it will indicate my youth, my lack of mastery of my so-called art or craft, my lack perhaps of talent…
A piece of the body torn out by the roots might be more to the point.
James Agee.
- MusicalMorphine
- growing roots
- Posts: 819
- Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:51 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Hastings, England
I think im falling again, but im too scared to tell anyone. I feel gilty for moving away.
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
- Catylyx
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1682
- Joined: Tue Mar 01, 2005 3:23 am
- Location: Finally in a place that i feel alive.
- Contact:
i believe god brought us together. too many people have told us that to not believe that.
---
i doubt we'll make it to the 3 year mark before we both say screw it and go ahead and get married. but i'm okay with that.
---
i doubt we'll make it to the 3 year mark before we both say screw it and go ahead and get married. but i'm okay with that.
<i>I am innocent and I have been set free
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
** 1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~
I no longer have chains around my feet
And no matter where I go or what they say
I am innocent</i> --Third Day
** 1 YEAR**~~back on the wagon 6/19/06~~
- half/hearted
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1728
- Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2006 7:49 am
- Gender: androgyne
- Location: suburbia
I missed this place, but felt it was unhealthy for me to post everything here...Now I don't care how unhealthy it is...
I regret breaking up with him. More than anything I regret it. I wish I hadn't done it. I wished that before even 12 hours had gone by after doing it.
I let my pride get in the way. Every day I let my pride stop me from telling him how I feel, I let him slip further and further away.
I'm so far from happy with myself, and it all stemmed from when I broke up with myself. Because he loved me, I could love myself. Now I hate myself because I think he hates me. A bit of me thinks maybe I broke up with him so that I wouldn;t love myself anymore. I missing feeling the respect I had for myself now though. I miss knowing that he thought well of me, and if he did, then I could as well...
I blame myself entirely. Even if he'd broken up with me, I'd blame myself.
I think I'm hiding all my other problems behind this one, and am telling myself that all my negative feelings come from me doing this stupid stupid thing.
**Replies appreciated - I just want to know I've been heard**
I regret breaking up with him. More than anything I regret it. I wish I hadn't done it. I wished that before even 12 hours had gone by after doing it.
I let my pride get in the way. Every day I let my pride stop me from telling him how I feel, I let him slip further and further away.
I'm so far from happy with myself, and it all stemmed from when I broke up with myself. Because he loved me, I could love myself. Now I hate myself because I think he hates me. A bit of me thinks maybe I broke up with him so that I wouldn;t love myself anymore. I missing feeling the respect I had for myself now though. I miss knowing that he thought well of me, and if he did, then I could as well...
I blame myself entirely. Even if he'd broken up with me, I'd blame myself.
I think I'm hiding all my other problems behind this one, and am telling myself that all my negative feelings come from me doing this stupid stupid thing.
**Replies appreciated - I just want to know I've been heard**
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.
If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.
If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...
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