Hi Copasetic & Addy,
I hear you both & relate. What you both experience sounds distressing.
Addy, I'm glad that you feel some relief from finding people with similar experiences.
All the best.
Some further info ...... Someone told me recently that this stuff is a type of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder called Primary Obsessive Disorder. He gave me a link about it, which I'll put below, with some info I copied from the (first) site.
NOTE that the University of British Columbia are asking for participants in research trials.
Hope people here find the info beneficial.
PRIMARY OBSESSIONS TREATMENT PROGRAM - UBC HOSPITAL
Psychological Treatment for Unwanted, Repulsive Thoughts, Images or Urges
http://www.ocdtreatment.ca/home.html
Here is another link:
http://www.vch.ca/enewsletter/files/issue09-ocd.html
http://www.ocdtreatment.ca/home.html
Imagine being plagued by repetitive, intrusive, and unwanted thoughts about:
* stabbing your spouse
* pushing an elderly person into traffic
* having sex with your minister
* sexually touching a child
Even though you know that you would never act on these thoughts, this does not make you feel any better. The images continue to persist and torture you, and you begin to feel like a bad, dangerous, or immoral person.
This is the experience of a person with Primary Obsessions, a subtype of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
The Primary Obsessions Treatment Program at the University of British Columbia Hospital is currently offering free treatment for Primary Obsessions, as part of a study evaluating two cognitive-behavioural therapies specifically designed for Primary Obsessions.
Click here to watch Dr. Rhonda Low's story on Primary Obsessions.
Accepting participants until APRIL 14, 2006
http://www.ocdtreatment.ca/primaryobsessions.html
What is OCD with Primary Obsessions?
It is estimated that 20% of OCD sufferers, that is 23,000 British Columbians, will experience a subtype of OCD that involves only intrusive thoughts, images, or impulses and report few or no visible compulsions. This subtype of OCD is called OCD with Primary Obsessions.
Primary Obsessions typically involves unwanted thoughts, images, or impulses about 3 themes:
Sexual Thoughts
Examples include:
* Unwanted thoughts/impulses to molest a child
* Unwanted thoughts involving homosexuality, aggressive sexual behaviour, or bestiality
Aggressive Thoughts
Examples include:
* Unwanted thoughts of stabbing spouse with a knife
* Unwanted impulse of harming one's child
* Unwanted images of violently attacking strangers or loved ones
Religious Thoughts
Examples include:
* Unwanted images of sexual interactions with religious figures
* Unwanted blasphemous thoughts
* Unwanted impulses to yell obscenities in church
Primary Obsessions: The Silent Shame
OCD with Primary Obsessions is a very frightening and/or shameful experience for sufferers. People with Primary Obsessions view these thoughts and images as repugnant, senseless, and inconsistent with their personal nature or character.
OCD with Primary Obsessions is an anxiety disorder. What distinguishes it from other anxiety and mental health problems is that people with primary obsessions experience these unwanted thoughts so frequently and intensely that it leads sufferers to fear that they are crazy, evil, or even dangerous!
FACT: Individuals with OCD are known to be extremely conscientious and there are NO documented cases of any OCD sufferer acting on their unwanted and repugnant thoughts or images.
Because people with Primary Obsessions believe that they may be crazy or dangerous, they often suffer in silence. That is, they are usually too afraid to confide in relatives or even their health professionals out of fear of embarrassment or because they believe they might be arrested or committed to a psychiatric hospital. In fact, it takes an average of 10 years for proper diagnosis and individuals are often misdiagnosed and treated for the depression or stress that frequently accompanies the disorder. Also, since they usually do not engage in compulsive behaviours that are visible to others, such as excessive handwashing or checking, people with Primary Obsessions are not as easily recognized as suffering from OCD.
What does OCD with Primary Obsessions look like?
A case example Matt is an active 22-year-old college student majoring in sociology who avidly plays soccer in a local recreational league. Three years ago, he began to have brief but distressing images of stabbing his girlfriend with a knife and accidentally drowning his beloved German Shepherd, Ben. These upsetting thoughts would pop into his mind about every two weeks, but he was able to quickly replace them with pleasant thoughts and move on with his daily activities.
In the past year however, the intrusive images became more frequent and distressing, to the point where one third of his waking hours were now consumed by these violent thoughts. He had also begun having images of hurting his family and his best friend.
As a result, he was no longer able to adequately perform routine activities or in school. For example, he could not longer concentrate in his classes, and he started refusing to cook with his girlfriend in order to avoid coming into contact with knives.
In an attempt to deal with these unwanted intrusive thoughts, Matt would repeat his favourite prayer over and over again in his mind, and he spent a few hours a day analyzing why he had these thoughts.
Although the intrusive, unwanted, images of harming his girlfriend were the most distressing aspects of his OCD, Matt also engaged in some minor rituals that included repeatedly checking that his stove was turned off and that his front door was locked before leaving his apartment in the morning. Matt eventually visited a psychologist, received a full psychological assessment, and was diagnosed with OCD. He would be classified as suffering from OCD with Primary Obsessions despite the presence of minor overt compulsions.
http://www.ocdtreatment.ca/treatmentforpo.html
Treatment for Primary Obsessions
The Primary Obsessions Treatment Program at UBC Hospital
Researchers at UBC have received funding from the Canadian Institute of Health Research (CIHR) to test 2 new cognitive-behavioural treatments for people suffering from OCD with Primary Obsessions. The treatment we are offering is free and participants can be seen almost immediately (i. e., we do not have a waiting list for treatment). Previously, there was no known treatment for this subtype of OCD, and no medication has been reported to be effective for this specific population. In fact, it was previously believed that the Primary Obsessions subtype was not responsive to treatment.
Treatment is taking place at the Anxiety Disorders Clinic of UBC Hospital. The staff at the clinic is made up of world recognized experts in OCD, all of whom have published ground-breaking work in the area. Further information about the study and the FREE treatments offered for Primary Obsessions is available from one of our anxiety specialists. Find our contact information here or phone 604-822-7676.
What our Program Offers
* Our treatment program is the largest study on OCD with Primary Obsessions in North America
* Our CIHR (Canadian Institute of Health Research) funded program compares two treatments specifically designed for Primary Obsessions:
o One treatment is skills-based, and focuses on the relationship between stress and the frequency of intrusive thoughts
o The second treatment focuses on the personal meaning of the obsessions and attempts to modify and normalize patients' interpretation of their unwanted and intrusive thoughts
* Potential participants are given a brief interview by phone, and a 2-3 hour in-person assessment with a psychologist
* Treatment is provided by PhD level clinicians with expertise in the assessment and treatment of OCD
* Accepted participants receive 13 weekly individual treatment sessions free of charge
* Medicated and non-medicated participants are welcome. Medicated patients must agree not to make any changes to their medication (type or dose) for the duration of their participation in the project.
Results so far…
Our initial pilot work shows promising results. So far, we have found that participants in our study have shown a 58% reduction in their symptoms.
In addition, 74% of all participants meet criteria for clinically significant change, as measured by international standards. That is, almost 3/4 of the participants in our study have shown significant improvement after having gone through our program.
