Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

Moderators: Spidey, noldo

Locked
User avatar
(*Haven*)
cow control
cow control
Posts: 24497
Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 12:14 am
Location: The traffic jam of life

Post by (*Haven*) » Sun Jul 11, 2004 10:31 pm

Kris~~The things you say to me hurt me. You wonder why I can't trust you with my problems. You tell me you don't want to deal with me when I'm upset, but then a day or so later you want to hang out. Don't do that to me, it makes me unstable because I don't know what to think about you. And don't tell me that I don't have a personality disorder. And don't tell me that everyone has a little bit of a personality disorder. Some people don't. And some people, like me, know they have it and know what it is and know what the symptoms are. Don't go by what you see when it comes to me. You don't know all about me. You don't know how I feel about many things. You don't know what is screwing up my life and how you're a part of it sometimes. And don't tell me that I can't die from an overdose. I just may. But it might be a day or more later than from when I tried. You need to get your facts straight about shit before you open your mouth and try to deny what I know. Don't tell me what I am and what I'm not. I know for myself.
:ylwstar: My Place :ylwstar: Visitors are welcome. New First Post 12/16/08
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)

:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:

User avatar
Wall
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 18928
Joined: Tue Mar 16, 2004 4:06 am
Location: Hiding
Contact:

Post by Wall » Mon Jul 12, 2004 5:52 am

**
**
** SU triggers
**
**
**
**
**
**
**
**
**
**


D: I can't explain to you how I feel right now. I have this secret, my SI, my feelings of self-hatred, that you just don't understand. We speak of self esteem, but you don't have any idea. I vascillate between thinking you can't possibly love me and wondering when you'll finally see me for what I am. I wait for you to tell me about how you found someone else. I wait for you not to come home. I wait for you to hurt me. I know you don't understand why I can't trust you.

I'd love to have you hold me, to tell you about holding the gun in my hand. I need to tell someone about looking at the rounds and contemplating their result. I need someone to cry with me, to understand being trapped, betrayed. I know you don't understand what happened. You can't. You weren't alone.

Right now, I can't say, "I love you". I just can't. It's not that I don't, it's that I can't risk it.
Fearless warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle


Somewhere in the Middle
Casting Crowns
Image

User avatar
RickTheTwinkie
knows the ropes
knows the ropes
Posts: 4861
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2004 5:43 am
Gender: Maleness
Location: Warilla, NSW, Australia
Contact:

Post by RickTheTwinkie » Mon Jul 12, 2004 6:16 am

Me: Damn you you idiot. Take that goddamn safety knife and put back in your box at work. It STAYS there! It does NOT travel home in your pocket. *screams in anger*
rickthetwinkie

My Story

My Journal

User avatar
snowangel_03
my other car is a bus
my other car is a bus
Posts: 34525
Joined: Wed May 19, 2004 5:47 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Harwich, Essex
Contact:

Post by snowangel_03 » Mon Jul 12, 2004 6:49 pm

Darling wonderful B:
I can't cope. I need you to be here, but you won't be here with me. Why? You know I can't do this on my own.. You know I'm not Nicki without you, remember?

"I'm really really sorry...
sooooo goddamn sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am."
You're not sorry. You never are..

I toture myself over you and I deserve it. I deserve all of it.
> Give SnowAngel HUGS <
Image
:tslug: Last SI: -- Image

> My Sigillum Diaboli - Read 1stPost <

KLove24's twin | Owns ultimate starshine | Haven's special RW buddy
Oftentimes all we need is a thought or a message to help us see another side to the problem,
or just some hope that life will be better - magicmum

Hugs & PM's are fine
The Truth that can set Souls Free is Buried within Sweet Pandemonium
To cry is to know that you're alive
Image

User avatar
Calluna vulgaris
building community
building community
Posts: 687
Joined: Sun Nov 09, 2003 9:19 pm
Gender: Female
Location: Canada

Post by Calluna vulgaris » Tue Jul 13, 2004 10:39 pm

I'm so incredibly sorry. I knew I had pushed you too far. Now you, just like everyone else, will abandon me.

I just had to go and do that. I couldn't just be a normal little girl. I had to fuck around and make you my emotional boyfriend without any physical benefits.

I have a strange feeling I might never see you again.

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Jul 14, 2004 2:06 pm

I don't believe you. I think you are a liar. I think you are a fake. I can't wait until people learn that. I can't wait to see you exposed as the lying, manipulative faker you really are.

User avatar
kurdt_kobain
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 7964
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 11:22 pm
Gender: Vagina Positive
Location: Southeast US / Age: 22
Contact:

Post by kurdt_kobain » Thu Jul 15, 2004 6:04 pm

Could you love me please?
trying to follow in the footsteps of the masters,
but it's a lot harder than it looks because even though
they had the same size feet as us, they weren't looking
down the whole time while they walked to make sure
they were doing it right.
[story people]

PaperDoll
town councillor
town councillor
Posts: 1544
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 1:50 pm

Post by PaperDoll » Thu Jul 15, 2004 8:18 pm

I really hate you right now. I know I have no right to... but I do.

x

User avatar
XclippedXwingsX
bus addict
bus addict
Posts: 2804
Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2004 11:11 pm
Location: Sandusky, Ohio, USA
Contact:

Post by XclippedXwingsX » Sat Jul 17, 2004 1:20 am

to chris - I love you so much and I wish you could stay with me forever. Chris... I love you with all my heart... Please don't break it.

Sean - Don't you ever leave me! COME BACK! I NEED YOU! I MISS YOU! DAMN YOU SEAN! *cries* :bawl:

Mom - I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brandon - Don't let our mother push you too hard. I admire you so much for being so strong even if you're younger than me.

xXx Charm xXx
<center>
:star: No Flaws When You're Pretending :star:
:1cat: SHACA Member :1dog: Cody
*I Am A Jesus Freak*
Please do NOT hug me
I Have Recovered

Image</center>

User avatar
deadrockstar
spiffy maximus
spiffy maximus
Posts: 4167
Joined: Thu Feb 06, 2003 9:36 pm
Location: Round here... Coventry, UK
Contact:

Post by deadrockstar » Sun Jul 18, 2004 2:55 pm

I'm sorry i reacted like i did, I know you say you've forgiven me, but i still cant beleive i did it..i hurt you...why? how could i ? i love you more than life itself, i love you more than there are stars in the sky, i just love you and now hopefully everything will be better
<center>
:blkstar: In Recovery :blkstar:


'You said I remind you of yourself tomorrow'- Kurt Cobain


'If you live through this with me, I swear that I will die for you'

</center>

PaperDoll
town councillor
town councillor
Posts: 1544
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2003 1:50 pm

Post by PaperDoll » Sun Jul 18, 2004 10:08 pm

I don't think we should speak for a while. You make me feel worse when I really cannot cope with it. I have tried and tried to help you and it's never worked. I know I'm being selfish but in all honesty I doubt you even want to speak to me anymore.

[Actually I might say that to the person in question :-? ]

x

User avatar
kurdt_kobain
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 7964
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 11:22 pm
Gender: Vagina Positive
Location: Southeast US / Age: 22
Contact:

Post by kurdt_kobain » Wed Jul 21, 2004 4:01 am

Hey.

I need help.

Could you help me?
trying to follow in the footsteps of the masters,
but it's a lot harder than it looks because even though
they had the same size feet as us, they weren't looking
down the whole time while they walked to make sure
they were doing it right.
[story people]

User avatar
Ketchup
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
Posts: 74
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2004 1:39 am
Location: PA

Post by Ketchup » Wed Jul 21, 2004 7:20 am

Mom and Dad- Please notice!!! Please please please notice!!!!!

Ryan- TELL MOM AND DAD!!! TELL THEM!!! PLEASE RYAN!!!

Sher- You are always there for me. You are such a sister to me it's unbelievable.

Jenny- Thank you so much for helping me. Talking with you has made me not hurt myself both mentally and phsyically. I deff. think of you as a big sister.

Becca- Force feeding me doesn't help. It's degrading in a way..I know you're just trying to help but please...don't.

Colleen- It's stupid that you've tried ana. I love you though and I don't want you to think bad about yourself.

Tim- I think I love you

Sarah- I miss you so much

Sean- I fucking hate you and wish I'd never met you, you're a fucking dickhead

Mia- Fuck you. You know NOTHING about what I'm going through

LeeAnn- Fucking drama queen. I hate you

Alex H.- Make up your mind. Friends? Or not?

Michelle/Christy- I wish you could hug me and make everything go away

L- You help SO SO SO SO SO much more than you know.
r | e | c | o | v | e | r | y

the_grouch
unpacking boxes
unpacking boxes
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 11:56 pm
Contact:

Post by the_grouch » Wed Jul 21, 2004 8:04 am

J: I'm so sorry.. I would give anything to take back everything I said last night. please talk to me and tell me what you wanted to say.. I didn't lie when I said I love you and would die for you.

M: I hate you. I hate that you say things you dont mean when you know damn well it's going to hurt someone. You've got yourself in a real big mess now, and if no one ever talks to you again, it's because you deserve it.
Just try telling the Dark Lord that you were late to a Death Eater's meeting because you were high. I'm sure he'll understand. Really.

Crucio!
My Anti-Drug.

Guest

Post by Guest » Wed Jul 21, 2004 3:03 pm

Fuck off, you stupid snotty bitch, is it any wonder people can't stand working with you when you behave like a total up yourself fucking ****?

(Edited because I went waaaay overboard on the language. Sorry)

User avatar
alegria
quintessential regular
quintessential regular
Posts: 2085
Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2004 6:42 am
Contact:

Post by alegria » Sat Jul 24, 2004 7:30 am

i love you. i am sorry i took so much and never gave you anything. you are so much to me and i will never be able to tell you. i'm sorry for everything and for not being clear with you and lying to myself because i cannot fucking do this! I cannot sit there and watch you with your gf and act like i'm ok. it's not your fault. You are not hurting me. I am hurting myself by holding my feelings inside. you make me feel so good and yet i feel the sharpest pain to not be able to tell you that i love you. and it fucking hurts that you met someone else.
Deliver me, out of my sadness.
Deliver me, from all of the madness.
Deliver me, courage to guide me.
Deliver me, strength from inside me.

All of my life i've been in hiding...

~Sarah Brightman

Strange_And_Beautiful
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 863
Joined: Sun Jul 11, 2004 3:34 am
Contact:

Post by Strange_And_Beautiful » Sun Jul 25, 2004 6:10 am

:pinkstar: Lauren-we've been friends for a long time until now. What the hell is your problem. Here's some advice. Stop being a whore and maybe guys would like you. And I know that you aren't really pregnant. You just say you are just to get attention.
:ylwstar: Nick-I love you so much and I don't care what everyone says about long distance relationships because it works. I love you so much and I'm so grateful after all the shit we've been through, you've still stuck close to me through the bad times and good. You're a great boyfriend.
:bluestar: Kim-You even little bitch. I can't believe you could say such a rotten thing and I can't believe you were at one point, my best friend. What the hell was I thinking? You're an evil stuck up bitch who is just jealous that I have a boyfriend and you don't so you can forget ever talking to me again.
:redstar: Grandma-I miss you so much. Why'd you have to leave? I know that God wanted you but I was selfish and I wanted you more. I know you're watching down on me and I wish you could come back and help me.
You got tears
Making tracks
I got tears
That are scared of the facts


br clear="all">
<img src="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/count_hugs ... _Beautiful" height="40" width="240" title="HUGS">
<br clear="all">
*HUGS* TOTAL!
<a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/hugs.cgi?& ... iful">give Strange_and_Beautiful more *HUGS*</a>
<br><small><a href="http://www.toxin.org/cgi-bin/gethugs.cgi">Get hugs of your own</a></small><br clear="all">

User avatar
jacidsky
growing roots
growing roots
Posts: 931
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2003 8:52 pm
Location: UK
Contact:

Post by jacidsky » Mon Jul 26, 2004 4:46 pm

it came out today, the abuse, you told me i was sexual abused as a child, i just cant except that. im a freak and i hate what happened to me. i remembered something else today. i remember when i was about 8 and d used to make us take our cothes off on camera, thats not mormal surely or was it just a bit of fun? why cant i have answers to my questions? i feel so lost.

angela- you meen so much to me, thanks for all the help that you are givving me, my little secret is now ours.
Get Real they tell me
If only they new how real this life really gets

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Jul 27, 2004 11:46 am

Fuck you, I am allowed to be critical of self harm. I do not have to pander to you and pretend that I think self harm is a good thing. I do not have to agree with you that self harm is a valid lifetime choice of how to live. Fuck you. I know what I mean when I say it only helps for a while. Fuck you.

User avatar
kurdt_kobain
forum moderator emeritus
forum moderator emeritus
Posts: 7964
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2003 11:22 pm
Gender: Vagina Positive
Location: Southeast US / Age: 22
Contact:

Post by kurdt_kobain » Tue Jul 27, 2004 6:08 pm

You are a fuck. A total fuck. All of you. I hate every last one of you. I know; I'm bad. I curse, I listen to "bad" music, I wear black and I make fun of people. Oh, and I'm clincally depressed and have a personality disorder. So you think you're better than me? You think I'm not funny, annoying and lame? Yeah, well you're right. And fuck you because you're always telling me that I need to change, and I'm agreeing with you on the outside, but I am not redefining who I am for you and your little system. I appericate you giving me friends, but they're not really my friends, they're strangers that masquarade as if they know all about me. I know all you've done for me, and you've cut into me and gotten under my skin. So if I can't get rid of what you've done to me, well, then FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU.

I am not your fucking project.
trying to follow in the footsteps of the masters,
but it's a lot harder than it looks because even though
they had the same size feet as us, they weren't looking
down the whole time while they walked to make sure
they were doing it right.
[story people]

Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 75 guests