Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
- one out of none
- bus addict
- Posts: 2874
- Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:59 pm
It's been 2 and a half years since the drama, everyone thinks I'm fine. I fooled my doctors into thinking I was fine, just so I wouldn't have to go any more because of my parents. I'd get out and they'd be waiting, asking me how it went, and it wasn't getting better. I keep thinking that I was in bits for years before anyone found out, and it's happening again. The only reason I'm not cutting is because of them, but I want to so much. They think that I'm fine now, that I'm doing well in college and all, I'm making friends and not being too reclusive and stuff. But in reality the depressions not gone, the anxiety is still there, and just because I'm not cutting, doesn't mean that I don't think about it all the time. It's so hard and I can't tell anyone. I just wish my friends cared enough to ask.
I think about the people I met in hospital and hope they're still alive... I think about that all the time.
I think about the people I met in hospital and hope they're still alive... I think about that all the time.
- friarygirl
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 12563
- Joined: Thu May 13, 2004 2:10 pm
- Location: Gibraltar UK Age: 55
I loved you Tim. You were my "bestest" cousin. I wish we'd kept in touch, and I can't tell you that now you're dead. I just hope you knew it too, like I always did.
Love you hon
Sarah
Love you hon
Sarah
Let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all... Douglas Adams
Member of OATS -- Oldies Against Text Speak
THE TIME TO TELL SOMEONE YOU CARE IS NOW
- (*Haven*)
- cow control
- Posts: 24497
- Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: The traffic jam of life
D ~ I'm sorry. Really, I am. I'm sorry I can't reach out to you like you want me to. Either way, I feel like I'm hurting you. Am I lying to you because I'm not telling you what's going on? Or am I making things better because I won't talk to you? I don't want to see you on Friday. And if I do see you, I want it to be the last time I see you. You mean the world to me and I want everything to be okay between us.
But you know how my mind works andyou know I won't want to leave you. I'm scared to leave you. I don't know what life is like without therapy.
Maybe it's time for me to find out.
But you know how my mind works andyou know I won't want to leave you. I'm scared to leave you. I don't know what life is like without therapy.
Maybe it's time for me to find out.
My Place Visitors are welcome. New First Post 12/16/08
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)
:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)
:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:
- Scatterbrain
- bus conductor
- Posts: 5074
- Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
- Location: Washington state, USA
Dammit, I love you!
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
Your becoming a right self centered little cow of late, you should respect me more than you do.
I am an architect, they call me a butcher
I am a pioneer, they call me primitive
I am purity, they call me perverted
- Manic street preachers
I find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had - Mad World
Your no good for me, I don't need nobody, don't need noone - The Prodigy
You'll never walk alone
My place - http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=106085 replies welcome
I am a pioneer, they call me primitive
I am purity, they call me perverted
- Manic street preachers
I find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had - Mad World
Your no good for me, I don't need nobody, don't need noone - The Prodigy
You'll never walk alone
My place - http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=106085 replies welcome
i haven't asked for your friendship. I know I'm being a bitch. Get the message already?
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.
If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.
If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...
Its time i gave up on it all.
I am an architect, they call me a butcher
I am a pioneer, they call me primitive
I am purity, they call me perverted
- Manic street preachers
I find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had - Mad World
Your no good for me, I don't need nobody, don't need noone - The Prodigy
You'll never walk alone
My place - http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=106085 replies welcome
I am a pioneer, they call me primitive
I am purity, they call me perverted
- Manic street preachers
I find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had - Mad World
Your no good for me, I don't need nobody, don't need noone - The Prodigy
You'll never walk alone
My place - http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=106085 replies welcome
I love you
I am an architect, they call me a butcher
I am a pioneer, they call me primitive
I am purity, they call me perverted
- Manic street preachers
I find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had - Mad World
Your no good for me, I don't need nobody, don't need noone - The Prodigy
You'll never walk alone
My place - http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=106085 replies welcome
I am a pioneer, they call me primitive
I am purity, they call me perverted
- Manic street preachers
I find it kinda funny, i find it kinda sad, the dreams in which i'm dying are the best i've ever had - Mad World
Your no good for me, I don't need nobody, don't need noone - The Prodigy
You'll never walk alone
My place - http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=106085 replies welcome
- red umbrellas
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 8175
- Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
- Location: Sydney
i'm sorry i'm always angry with you. sometimes you deserve it, mostly you don't.
i'm confused and i don't deserve you. i don't think i'm strong enough for this anymore. really.
but i can't hurt you. so i'll go on lying to you. until you hate me. either way, i guess i'll hurt you. and everyone who knows us both.
i warned you right from the start...i'm sorry i let you in though.
it's my fault.
------------------
stop fucking bossing me around. what the hell do you think you are? don't patronise me. if there's one thing i hate, it's being patronised.
------------------------
please, i hope you're right about him. who knows why? probably cos i'm a selfish, self-centred little bitch.
how the hell am i on your hero list? what the hell do you see in me?
----------------------------------
i just want you to care about me and to love me. because i'm scared of being alone.
i'm confused and i don't deserve you. i don't think i'm strong enough for this anymore. really.
but i can't hurt you. so i'll go on lying to you. until you hate me. either way, i guess i'll hurt you. and everyone who knows us both.
i warned you right from the start...i'm sorry i let you in though.
it's my fault.
------------------
stop fucking bossing me around. what the hell do you think you are? don't patronise me. if there's one thing i hate, it's being patronised.
------------------------
please, i hope you're right about him. who knows why? probably cos i'm a selfish, self-centred little bitch.
how the hell am i on your hero list? what the hell do you see in me?
----------------------------------
i just want you to care about me and to love me. because i'm scared of being alone.
And excuses and excuses and excuses
Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella
- 5th section
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7753
- Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
- Contact:
J______:
I don't want to make things hard for you and I'm trying to control myself. But you're the love of my life...if i feel like this i can't just make it go away. I hope you didn't hear any of what I was saying last night cos if I upset you i'd never forgive myself. but it's true, all of it. The more I love you the more I hate myself. it's wierd and twisted, I know, that's why I want to keep it away from you. but I still want you desperately at the same time. I'm confused. the only thing I'm not confused about is that I love you.
All the rest of you:
don't take my side, there shouldnt be any 'sides' to it!. And I don't deserve it. she's a better person than I'll ever be.
I don't want to make things hard for you and I'm trying to control myself. But you're the love of my life...if i feel like this i can't just make it go away. I hope you didn't hear any of what I was saying last night cos if I upset you i'd never forgive myself. but it's true, all of it. The more I love you the more I hate myself. it's wierd and twisted, I know, that's why I want to keep it away from you. but I still want you desperately at the same time. I'm confused. the only thing I'm not confused about is that I love you.
All the rest of you:
don't take my side, there shouldnt be any 'sides' to it!. And I don't deserve it. she's a better person than I'll ever be.
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- rainbow_rally
- driving instructor
- Posts: 5943
- Joined: Sat Sep 02, 2006 1:36 pm
- Location: Kent, UK Age:20
i wish i could tell you how i feel.
i wish i could let you know my love and care for you
im too shy. i fear rejection
thats why i dont tell you and let you know
it hurts me anyway coz i know i cant ever have you
i want to hold you close
i want to wipe away your tears
i want to hold your hand when you fear something
i want to help you through rough times
seeing you ill, makes me want to hold you close and tell you it will be ok but i cant.
i hate knowing your with her, ive never met her but shes probably stunning, unlike me. i hope she's good to you. i hope she treats you well. i would treat you like a king if you were mine. i would never hurt you or abandon you. i would protect you as much as i could. my feelings grow stronger every time i see you. i just want to be a close friend if not anything more.
i wish i could let you know my love and care for you
im too shy. i fear rejection
thats why i dont tell you and let you know
it hurts me anyway coz i know i cant ever have you
i want to hold you close
i want to wipe away your tears
i want to hold your hand when you fear something
i want to help you through rough times
seeing you ill, makes me want to hold you close and tell you it will be ok but i cant.
i hate knowing your with her, ive never met her but shes probably stunning, unlike me. i hope she's good to you. i hope she treats you well. i would treat you like a king if you were mine. i would never hurt you or abandon you. i would protect you as much as i could. my feelings grow stronger every time i see you. i just want to be a close friend if not anything more.
- rainbow_rally
- driving instructor
- Posts: 5943
- Joined: Sat Sep 02, 2006 1:36 pm
- Location: Kent, UK Age:20
i didnt love you but i really liked you. i wold have liked to get to know you better. sorry that i didnt give you a chance. you could do so much better than her, i am better than her. arent i?? why did you settle. willi have to settle? i want somone to LOVE me! please! anyone! why did i let you go??? i hate myself for it!
- beautifulgarbage
- unpacking boxes
- Posts: 46
- Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2005 4:40 pm
- Location: Montreal
O ~ I am so proud of you for all you've achieved, four months ago you couldn't get to Sch and now your doing a performance there. I wish you knew how proud I was of you. And I am so sorry that I not there for you more.
H ~ Your so precious, I am so sorry that I miss seeing you grow up on a constant basis.
M&D ~ I love you but please dont stress me out about student loans, I panic & don't know how to deal, I will sort it. and one day I will move closer, when I can, I miss you. Sorry.
G ~ Thank-you for all your support, I hope I proved to you a bit more how Im changing and becoming better.
H ~ Your so precious, I am so sorry that I miss seeing you grow up on a constant basis.
M&D ~ I love you but please dont stress me out about student loans, I panic & don't know how to deal, I will sort it. and one day I will move closer, when I can, I miss you. Sorry.
G ~ Thank-you for all your support, I hope I proved to you a bit more how Im changing and becoming better.
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
- shadowavenger
- creating your space
- Posts: 163
- Joined: Wed Oct 05, 2005 9:20 pm
- Location: UK
- Contact:
Mum: SHUT UP RIGHT NOW PLEASE.
Another lonely highway in the black of night
There's hope in the darkness, you know you're going to make it
"This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays." - Arthur Dent
"You're just wearing on the outside what the rest of us wear on the inside." - Sean McNamara, Nip/Tuck
There's hope in the darkness, you know you're going to make it
"This must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays." - Arthur Dent
"You're just wearing on the outside what the rest of us wear on the inside." - Sean McNamara, Nip/Tuck
- Scatterbrain
- bus conductor
- Posts: 5074
- Joined: Thu Sep 22, 2005 3:17 am
- Location: Washington state, USA
Fuck you. Shut up. I'm just trying to get through the holidays w/o SIing. You dont realize how hard you are making it. Shut the fuck up!
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )
"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead
Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics
Who is online
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 144 guests