Rant, rave, rage and riot *la*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Sun Mar 29, 2009 5:21 am

Why is it that she'll hook up with everyone but me? What is so bad about me? No one wants to touch me. Lots of people will tell me how pretty I am and how lucky someone would be to have me but if that is the case, then why am I so alone? Why will no one so much as make a pass at me?

Its BULLSHIT
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Sun Mar 29, 2009 6:53 pm

can you please just fuck off?
I can do this fine by myself.

I don't need you fluttering over my shoulder and acting like a fucking idiot.
all you're doing is pissing me off and making this whole thing take longer.

go find something else to do.

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PLAIN JANE
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Post by PLAIN JANE » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:50 am

this all your doing..but I have to jump thru the hoops?
FUCK YOU>>>I HOPE YOU DIE
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xStarBright
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Post by xStarBright » Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:06 pm

Just QUIT IT, okay??
I KNOW i dont talk about stuff thats bothering me, for christs sake, why would i !!!! ????
and you. don't you dare guilt trip me, i've done nothing wrong.

just go away,
leave me alone.
i wish i'd never met any of you.
seriously.
don't worry if i'm not here - i come and go. :cowsleep:
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xunwrittenx
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Post by xunwrittenx » Thu Apr 02, 2009 1:32 am

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FUCKING LOSER!
I HATE WHAT YOU'VE BECOME
IT'S NOT YOU! :x :evil:
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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Fri Apr 03, 2009 8:13 pm

I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF ALL THIS BULLSHIT.


NO, I DO NOT CARE ABOUT PROM.

NO, I DO NOT CARE THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET A LIMO.
NO, I DO NOT CARE ABOUT WHAT RESTAURANT YOU ARE GOING TO BEFOREHAND.
NO, I DO NOT CARE THAT YOU ARE GOING DRESS SHOPPING, OR THAT YOU CONSEQUENTLY HAVE TO FIND SOME RIDICULOUS PAIR OF SHOES TO MATCH THAT DRESS. (WHICH YOU PROBABLY WILL SPEND UPWARDS OF MY ENTIRE BANK ACCOUNT ON.)

IT IS ALL A FUCKING RIDICULOUS WASTE OF MONEY. I DON'T CARE THAT YOU THINK IT'S FUN. IT'S A FUCKING WASTE. I AM GOING TO GO, AND SPEND MY NIGHT DOING SOMETHING THAT IS WORTHWHILE FOR FREE, SAVING PEOPLE'S LIVES. I AM GOING TO GO SIT DOWNTOWN AND SAVE CHILDREN WHILE YOU WHINE ABOUT YOUR DATE.

HAVE A FUCKING GREAT TIME AT PROM, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I AM GOING. I DON'T CARE THAT I'M MISSING MY SENIOR PROM. IT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT. SO MAKE SOME GREAT MEMORIES ABOUT HOW YOUR DATE HAD TERRIBLE BODY ODOR FOR ME, BECAUSE MY NIGHT IS GOING TO BE FUCKING FANTASTIC, THANKS.

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mephistopheles
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Post by mephistopheles » Sat Apr 11, 2009 3:10 pm

You threw away my bread you asshole! I hate Matzos - there, I said it! And I notice you're still ok with being gay even though you're fasting and cleaning and burning my fucking bread. What?!


:olol:
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ultimate starshine
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Post by ultimate starshine » Sat Apr 18, 2009 3:31 pm

I fucking hate who i have become.
but i dont think i can get myself back.
ever.
Sprink is my wonderful gobby (goblin) daughter
I am 5th Sections mummy
RDS is my amazing sister
Elmoscaresme is my adorable niece
I am Eisa's Fairy

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PLAIN JANE
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Post by PLAIN JANE » Tue Apr 21, 2009 4:40 am

I am so angry I scare myself...fuck you god you lousy piece of shit,,my father used your name while abusing me,,fuck you to daddy,,
you died young..big surprise..fuck ..fuck...motherfucking cocksucking piece of mutherfucking shit.a-fucking-men.
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Tue Apr 28, 2009 5:01 am

FUCK MY THROAT HURTS.

there is obviously something wrong here.
I don't get ridiculous throat aches and massive glandular swelling in my neck for fucking nothing.




it hurts my lymph nodes to turn my neck.
it hurts to swallow.
fucckk.


no doctor please.
just give me some drugs.
I swear to jesus I need some fucking augmentin.



:grystar:

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caged bird
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Post by caged bird » Sat May 02, 2009 11:08 am

i fucking hate you urges, i hate the way you always come and catch me out i'd give anything, anything at all right now for it to be ok for me to SI , i can't fucking cope with this
visit my website
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Being almost devastated is horrible because it lingers. But total devastation brings a kind of peace. It lets you give up.
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The line between normal and crazy seemed impossibly thin. A person would have to be an expert tightrope walker in order not to fall.
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Scatterbrain
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Post by Scatterbrain » Sun May 10, 2009 8:34 am

FUCK YOU! You cum guzzling gutter whore. I hope you burn in hell. All I needed was some reassurance. How many times have I sat with you and heard about stupid shit you did and helped you through it? Several. I fucked up and you said "oh, ok. well I think I'm gunna go to bed". Fuck you! You clearly dont give a flying fuck. And now all I wanna do is get really fucking wasted cuz I feel like a shithead. Hope your happy. Go to hell.
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
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a7xcncangel
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Post by a7xcncangel » Mon May 11, 2009 10:23 pm

Fuck this. I don't want to do this stupid project. I don't give a shit-not a horse's ass! Fuck!!!! Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCKKK!!

Dear Fucktard,

WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO USE ME LIKE THAT? I'M NOT JUST SOME FUCKING PRIZE THAT YOU WIN AND FORGET ABOUT! I'M A FUCKING HUMAN BEING! WHY DID YOU HURT ME? WHY DID YOU TRAP ME AND MANIPULATE ME? WHY DID YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! YOU'RE AN ASS AND I HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL!!! OH YEAH, AND HAVE FUN AT PROM. YOU BETTER NOT RAPE MY FRIEND. IF YOU TOUCH ONE HAIR ON HER NECK, YOU'RE GONNA PAY. I HATE YOU! YOU'RE A FUCKING ASSHOLE THAT DESERVES TO BURN AND ROT IN HELL FOREVER! I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! YOU CAUSED ME SO MUCH PAIN, GUILT, AND SHAME IN MY LIFE AND IT'S ALLLL YOOUUURRR FAULTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK YOU!

(grrr) :omad: :argggh: :x
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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Mon May 11, 2009 10:30 pm

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Tue May 12, 2009 4:56 am

UM, NO THANKS.

I do not want you in my life. I thought that was evident by the "breakup" of our "friendship" as you so lovingly call it.

I do not want to hear your fucking voice.
I do not want you anywhere near me.

and BY THE WAY,
YOU ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF LINE.


you have no fucking right to parade into my life and try and adopt me into your little cult.
I don't care that you've "found god".
I am a FUCKING ATHEIST.
I do not give a shit about how my soul can be saved, or the fact that "he" can give me redemption, salvation, etc.
As far as I'm concerned, you can take all of that, and choke on it.
I will be dead once I die. that's it. there's nothing fucking else.
and if there is, it's my problem, isn't it?

You have no fucking clue what is going on in my life right now.
my cousin is dying of cancer, and you want to convert me.

DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THE BILLION FUCKING TIMES I TRIED TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT AND YOU FUCKING IGNORED ME?


GO FUCKING ANTAGONIZE SOMEONE ELSE.
I do not need you to "fix" my drug problem.
I do not need you to "fix" my alcohol problem.
and you are going NOWHERE FUCKING NEAR MY SI OR MY ED.
it is MY FUCKING BUSINESS.
YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND, AND I DO NOT LIKE YOU.

yeah, sure, we were friends once.
but not anymore.
not for one second do I believe your bullshit.
I haven't the slightest doubt that you are not here to help me.
you fucked things up, and this is what you get for it.
I'm not going to do this so you can feel better about yourself.


SO GO WHINE ABOUT IT TO MY FRIENDS.
YES, PLEASE.
AND I BEG THAT YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU ALMOST GOT ME SENT TO CHRISTIAN SCHOOL.

it was a COMPLETELY lovely time of my life, and I'm just SO SO GLAD that you're such an invasive, pretentious bitch, because who the hell else would want to fuck things up? huh?


SO PLEASE STOP CALLING ME AND ASKING ME HOW I'M DOING.
I AM NOT GOING TO TELL YOU ANYTHING.
I DO NOT NEED YOUR HELP.

I fucking cleaned up.
Without you and your bullshit and everything else.
I DID IT BY MYSELF.
I WENT TO AA FOR GOD FUCKING SAKES.

not thanks to you, of course.




SO PLEASE LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
YOU ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF LINE,
AND MY LIFE IS NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.



AND NO, I AM NOT GOING TO CHURCH WITH YOU.
I wouldn't fucking share a meal with you.
GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BITCH.

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Scatterbrain
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Post by Scatterbrain » Tue May 12, 2009 5:27 am

So you think I dont work hard? That I'm just kinda hanging out and could easily take more math and get a job and an internship whenever. FUCK YOU! You have no idea how hard I work.

Plus I doubt you could get through all the shit I've dealt with BY MYSELF, WITHOUT ANY HELP FROM FRIENDS OR ANYONE in the last two weeks. So fuck you. Have you ever had to deal with this at the same time:
-the guy you've liked the most in the last 2 years/the first person you slept with say he doesnt want to be exclusive anymore
-had a drunken, unprotected one night stand with a sailor who deployed 5 days later which resulted in a pregnancy scare and almost $100 that I really dont have spent on contraception and STI tests etc
-your grandfather hospitalized unexpectedly
-the looming deadlines for 3 large papers that are a totally different type of technical writing and take a ridiculous amount of time and research to complete
-your roommate be mad at you then treat you like shit for sleeping with the sailor and not even ask if you are ok after hearing you didnt use protection and stuff
Have you ever had to deal with all this while maintaining A grades in college and pretending that you are still with the guy you still like and that everything is totally fine to your parents who you have to spend two weekends in a row with?

I didnt think so. Just fuck off and leave me alone. I'm doing my fucking best. Oh I forgot to mention something else. Have you ever dealt with that while trying to fight off an impending depressive mood and increasingly frequent panic attacks? I fucking doubt it. You were so out of line to say that I dont really do anything and that my degree doesnt matter. If only you fucking knew how hard I really do work to keep my shit together and to keep from killing myself. So I think you should get the fuck out of my business and burn in hell. Suck it, asshole.
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Thu May 14, 2009 9:14 pm

FINE! You don't want me there. I get it.

You know... I wanted to get you something really special for your birthday. I'd give it to you while we were up there. ON your birthday, Mom. But, it appears that the best gift I can give you for your birthday is FOR ME TO NOT FUCKING BE THERE AT ALL!!!
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

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hedgepig
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Post by hedgepig » Sun May 17, 2009 3:14 pm

it really really irritates me that you:

:star: NEVER take out the rubbish
:star: NEVER put a new bin bag in the bin before putting something revolting in there
:star: NEVER clean the bathroom
:star: NEVER sweep the kitchen floor, let alone clean it
:star: Don't know where the dustpan and brush is kept - it's in the same fucking cupboard that we decided to put it in when we moved to this house
:star: don't know how to empty the hoover
:star: point it out when you hoover the living room - what do you want? a medal? I've cleaned the rest of the house on a weekly basis for the last sodding 9 months.
:star: Use my pans to cook meat even though the thought makes me feel sick, and then leave left overs festering in there for days while it gradually comes back to life.
:star: borrowed my new shoes without asking and before I put the suede protector on, and on a day it was raining.
:star: go in to my room and rummage through my things. One of these days you're going to come across my tools and that's a conversation neither of us wants to have.
:star: go in to my room and try on my clothes. It's great that you can, in your own words "just about get those shorts done up" but COME ON - you'd be WELL pissed off if I did that with your clothes.
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:star: whinge at me for not eating and then buy me biscuits. I know you're doing it because you care and you worry but youre not helping me by saying "you can manage a biscuit" no i CAN'T. Seriously - when was the last time you saw me eat a biscuit? It just means I now have to come up with a way to make you think I've eaten them which is a complete pain in the arse to be honest.
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-end ED

all very minor points but they were really getting to me. that does actually feel a bit better :)
\\\\__.
_\\\\'/____

"Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions." -David Borenstein

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calypso
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Post by calypso » Mon May 18, 2009 7:46 am

Housemates! :argggh:
You stay here completely rent free without consulting any of us. Ok. Please stop sitting outside my bedroom window until 2am talking loudly and smoking. I'm asthmatic, i'm not just whingey, when you chose to sit outside my open window (why not in one of the 50 other possible places to smoke!) I can't breathe properly. I like oxygen and I feel that I'm entitled to have my window open. On that note, please take note that you REEK of disgusting baby powder/sickeningly chemically scented body spray to the point of me nearly vomiting. It's not ok that I can't even go into a room that you've been in for half an hour after you've walked through it. Don't even think about going into the bathroom without spinning out from the horrible smell.
Ahhhhh! Fuck off!

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calypso
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Post by calypso » Mon May 18, 2009 8:00 am

And please stop only using my special mug as your own and keeping in your room :cry:

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