Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*
- poet with probs
- meeting the neighbors
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- Joined: Fri May 26, 2006 4:22 am
- Location: in the closet
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i feal like i am bretraying you
i want to know if you think that i shoudl do what i am doing
i love you and him but your not with me and he is
i want to know if you think that i shoudl do what i am doing
i love you and him but your not with me and he is
( ) i think this is the first cow that was ever on here
my poems http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=99532
R.I.P. Matthew August 14, 1988 - July 25, 2006
You will always be remembered.
R.I.P Nicole october 25, 1987 - May 12, 2005
both of you will allwase be remberd
my poems http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=99532
R.I.P. Matthew August 14, 1988 - July 25, 2006
You will always be remembered.
R.I.P Nicole october 25, 1987 - May 12, 2005
both of you will allwase be remberd
I don't know what I've done wrong, or why your quiet. I've tried letting you be, asking you, doing little things, but it doesn't work. Why do I feel like its my fault and that I've fallen short yet again???
'Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life' Picasso
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
'IS THERE NO WAY OUT OF THE MIND?' Sylvia Plath
My Poetry
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97459
My Place
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=97307
- MusicalMorphine
- growing roots
- Posts: 819
- Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:51 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Hastings, England
- red umbrellas
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 8175
- Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
- Location: Sydney
i could hardly even talk to you last night. do you really think this will work? i don't know how to tell you that i don't think it will...but that that doesn't mean that i don't care. i just don't know how to do this anymore.
--
stop acting like such a twat. are you insecure that you need to boast to me? do you think it will change anything? all you do is make me angry when you act this way. i said i was sorry. and i missed out, not you. surely that's enough?
--
i'm sorry i'm such a hypocrite and i'm sorry i'm having to lie to you. you are amazing. you really are. and while it's ok for me to do this to myself...i want to protect you from it because i care about you. and i don't think i need to be cared for.
--
i wish i had just half your self-confidence and character
--
stop acting like such a twat. are you insecure that you need to boast to me? do you think it will change anything? all you do is make me angry when you act this way. i said i was sorry. and i missed out, not you. surely that's enough?
--
i'm sorry i'm such a hypocrite and i'm sorry i'm having to lie to you. you are amazing. you really are. and while it's ok for me to do this to myself...i want to protect you from it because i care about you. and i don't think i need to be cared for.
--
i wish i had just half your self-confidence and character
And excuses and excuses and excuses
Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella
-
- unpacking boxes
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- Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2004 11:56 pm
- Contact:
- I don't like when you tell me how ugly/fat/stupid I am. I don't like that Mom lets you get away with it. I think you should look in the mirror at yourself. Or maybe you have, and that's why you feel the need to be above me. But you're not. Anybody who has lived 45 years on this earth and has never loved, can never be above me. Your mind is so painfully unattractive that you have never been, and will never be truly loved unconditionally. Material items and spending 500.00 a week in the sports book may make you think you have a purpose on this earth, but I think your only purpose was to show people that life could be worse. They could've been you.
- I love you, but I don't like when you make me feel guilty about things I can't control. For the past year and a half, you've been the one I turn to when things are at their best and worst. You can make me smile when I'm down, no matter what. but lately it seems I'm mainly down about you, or about us growing apart. I don't want to grow apart. Sometimes I want to go away, be alone. But when I do, I miss you so much that I have to pick up the phone. I don't like how vulnerable I am with you. I'm so scared.
- I love you. You're not only my best friend, but I consider you my second sister. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, and I appreciate all the late night talks we've had, all the goofy pictures we've got saved on our hard drives of eachother. I appreciate all the times we've gone to eachother about boy problems, or told eachother that we're so much better than the guys we settle for who break our hearts, or say cruel things, or love us enough to reach for the button on our pants, but not enough to take us home to their mom. I appreciate you. Never change.
- 16 years ago, you walked out on my family. You forfeited your right to be my parent. 9 years ago, you took my mom to court not because you actually wanted custody of me, but because you knew it was a way to hurt her. When the judge told you you'd have to part with 500.00 a month to support me, you moved every 5 months to get away from responsibility. 3 months ago, My sister found you. You wrote me and told me you'd been crying all day because you were so happy to have "found me." You wrote me two more times, and then pretty much stopped because you were "busy with work." If you wanted to contact me, you'd find a way. Good luck with your life, because mine is more important than to deal with a deadbeat dad who pretends to care.
--edited for errors.--
- I love you, but I don't like when you make me feel guilty about things I can't control. For the past year and a half, you've been the one I turn to when things are at their best and worst. You can make me smile when I'm down, no matter what. but lately it seems I'm mainly down about you, or about us growing apart. I don't want to grow apart. Sometimes I want to go away, be alone. But when I do, I miss you so much that I have to pick up the phone. I don't like how vulnerable I am with you. I'm so scared.
- I love you. You're not only my best friend, but I consider you my second sister. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, and I appreciate all the late night talks we've had, all the goofy pictures we've got saved on our hard drives of eachother. I appreciate all the times we've gone to eachother about boy problems, or told eachother that we're so much better than the guys we settle for who break our hearts, or say cruel things, or love us enough to reach for the button on our pants, but not enough to take us home to their mom. I appreciate you. Never change.
- 16 years ago, you walked out on my family. You forfeited your right to be my parent. 9 years ago, you took my mom to court not because you actually wanted custody of me, but because you knew it was a way to hurt her. When the judge told you you'd have to part with 500.00 a month to support me, you moved every 5 months to get away from responsibility. 3 months ago, My sister found you. You wrote me and told me you'd been crying all day because you were so happy to have "found me." You wrote me two more times, and then pretty much stopped because you were "busy with work." If you wanted to contact me, you'd find a way. Good luck with your life, because mine is more important than to deal with a deadbeat dad who pretends to care.
--edited for errors.--
Last edited by the_grouch on Mon Oct 30, 2006 6:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Just try telling the Dark Lord that you were late to a Death Eater's meeting because you were high. I'm sure he'll understand. Really.
Crucio!
My Anti-Drug.
Crucio!
My Anti-Drug.
- Licentia Poetica
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 24935
- Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2003 10:06 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: Australia
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I hate you now. & it doesnt hurt me anymore that you don't love me or care about me.
but i wish that you did when it still mattered to me. when you could still have loved me & i wouldnt have hated you for it.
i was a good kid. i did my homework. i did my chores. i went to school. i was in the src. i won prizes. & i did it all to please you. i never asked you for anything. anything at all. i didnt complain when you abandonned me, i just tried harder. & you never told me i was good enough. EVER.
you always told me its my fault. whatever it was. it was my fault. i was stupid. i was ugly. i was fat. the world could implode on you & you'd find a reason to make it my fault.
& you're still doing it
here I am. & my life feels ruined. & I feel like it's all my fault. when i should feel like it is *yours*.
in truth, i dont know whose fault it is.
but i wish that you did when it still mattered to me. when you could still have loved me & i wouldnt have hated you for it.
i was a good kid. i did my homework. i did my chores. i went to school. i was in the src. i won prizes. & i did it all to please you. i never asked you for anything. anything at all. i didnt complain when you abandonned me, i just tried harder. & you never told me i was good enough. EVER.
you always told me its my fault. whatever it was. it was my fault. i was stupid. i was ugly. i was fat. the world could implode on you & you'd find a reason to make it my fault.
& you're still doing it
here I am. & my life feels ruined. & I feel like it's all my fault. when i should feel like it is *yours*.
in truth, i dont know whose fault it is.
If we knew each other's secrets, what comforts we should find.
John Churton Collins
- MusicalMorphine
- growing roots
- Posts: 819
- Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:51 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Hastings, England
- red umbrellas
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 8175
- Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
- Location: Sydney
fuck OFF.
you don't like my pic? so sue me. just don't look at it. you are such an ARROGANT ARSE sometimes
--
if i knew you, i would smack the shit out of you for what you've said and done.
--
i'm sorry i feel this way. it's just not ok at all. i know that. thank god i will never ever let you know.
you don't like my pic? so sue me. just don't look at it. you are such an ARROGANT ARSE sometimes
--
if i knew you, i would smack the shit out of you for what you've said and done.
--
i'm sorry i feel this way. it's just not ok at all. i know that. thank god i will never ever let you know.
And excuses and excuses and excuses
Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella
Hunter.
I'm not going to lie dude, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. I have no model to look back on... I don't really know how to throw a baseball or how to make a spice rack out of wood. I won't be wearing polo shirts and all your teachers and all your friends and everyone will always see my tattoos.
I love you like crazy though, and I guess I know some stuff... I use to play soccer pretty well... I can draw pretty much anything you ever want to see... I can draw dragons on your arms and on your notebooks...
I won't ever judge you for who you are, or who you want to be, what colour you want to dye your hair or who you choose to love. If you want to be an accountant I'll be a little freaked out... But you know... I'll get over it.
I'll kill whoever hurts you, I'll kill whoever hurts your mom. I won't ever tell people you're not my son, I'm so fucking proud of you and all you've really done is learned how to smile.
I'm not going to lie dude, I have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. I have no model to look back on... I don't really know how to throw a baseball or how to make a spice rack out of wood. I won't be wearing polo shirts and all your teachers and all your friends and everyone will always see my tattoos.
I love you like crazy though, and I guess I know some stuff... I use to play soccer pretty well... I can draw pretty much anything you ever want to see... I can draw dragons on your arms and on your notebooks...
I won't ever judge you for who you are, or who you want to be, what colour you want to dye your hair or who you choose to love. If you want to be an accountant I'll be a little freaked out... But you know... I'll get over it.
I'll kill whoever hurts you, I'll kill whoever hurts your mom. I won't ever tell people you're not my son, I'm so fucking proud of you and all you've really done is learned how to smile.
Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
[/center]
- Quiet little Angel
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7754
- Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2005 2:10 pm
- Location: somewhere between blue tulips and anxiety...
thank you very much... no seriously... thank you for making me feel even worse... now on top of what i already felt i have the feeling of missing out on a whole bunch of fun, of being a killjoy and of letting you all down... thank you so much for trying to pressure me into going tonight even though i said i didn't want to... and for telling me how much fun you're having meaning how much fun i'll be missing out on... really... and thanks for slamming the good old 'come on, don't be such a bore' on top of it... really... that's the stuff that really helps when i'm already feeling bad... no no no you weren't out of line or in any way invading my space... you were just wonderfull... seriously... why would you think that would ever make things worse... wouldn't that be exactly what you'd want to hear when you weren't feeling good???
/May
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
Never underestimate the power of silence...
micro-chipped mental cyber twins taking over NewZealand...
ever reached out for someones hand only to find it wasn't there?
My place of happy-scared-random-thoughts dealing with motherhood and anxiety, visitors welcome
- red umbrellas
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 8175
- Joined: Mon Mar 01, 2004 8:50 am
- Location: Sydney
in an emotional crisis, you can be about as useful as tits on a bull.
i don't expect you to understand. i just expect a pretence at trying to understand, that's all.
and ok, i'll be honest. you hurt me. you hurt me more than once in a 1/2 hour conversation. and even though i argued back, i took it.
i sat there are listened to how i'd 'abandoned you' so that i could live my life and do what i need to do.
i tried to make up for feeling shit about my image and not taking photos by sending some older ones, only to be told that they were 'horrible and unflattering'
and you basically told me to pull my fucking socks up.
but i know i'd hurt you back if i 'left' you. so i don't think i can do that. cos you've been there for me before...sort of. and maybe you will be again.
--
i wish i could talk to you and i wish i could explain. because i know you'd try and help. but i can't scare you like that.
i don't expect you to understand. i just expect a pretence at trying to understand, that's all.
and ok, i'll be honest. you hurt me. you hurt me more than once in a 1/2 hour conversation. and even though i argued back, i took it.
i sat there are listened to how i'd 'abandoned you' so that i could live my life and do what i need to do.
i tried to make up for feeling shit about my image and not taking photos by sending some older ones, only to be told that they were 'horrible and unflattering'
and you basically told me to pull my fucking socks up.
but i know i'd hurt you back if i 'left' you. so i don't think i can do that. cos you've been there for me before...sort of. and maybe you will be again.
--
i wish i could talk to you and i wish i could explain. because i know you'd try and help. but i can't scare you like that.
And excuses and excuses and excuses
Hold On To Yourself - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds
"We paint a picture of a scenario - and then we become afraid of it" - Andrea Fella
- mephistopheles
- cow control
- Posts: 24355
- Joined: Thu May 26, 2005 4:40 pm
- Location: London
If it sucks then just fucking tell me. don't leave me POST-ITS that everyone can read. And i know you push me harder than everyone else because you think I can be better. but most of the time it feels like you're picking on me. and everyone else is noticing. and thinks its shit. i dont want more attention. i want to get my head down and get on with it all.
After three fucking years in Art School, I'm pretty sure I know what green is. I'm pretty sure that I spent about ten minutes mixing that shade, and several others before picking the one that was put in my painting.
Emailing me and telling me that you don't think it's the right shade won't make me relieved, it will make me angry.
THIS IS MY FUCKING PAINTING I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE SHADE OF GREEN I CHOSE
If you hover my painting today waiting for me to change the shade of green, I will impale a paintbrush into your eyeball
Emailing me and telling me that you don't think it's the right shade won't make me relieved, it will make me angry.
THIS IS MY FUCKING PAINTING I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE SHADE OF GREEN I CHOSE
If you hover my painting today waiting for me to change the shade of green, I will impale a paintbrush into your eyeball
Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
[/center]
- 5th section
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7753
- Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
- Contact:
haven't you put 2+2 together yet? alright, I could tell you a load of stuff but it would be much less painful if you'd just NOTICE!
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- MusicalMorphine
- growing roots
- Posts: 819
- Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2006 5:51 pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Hastings, England
- (*Haven*)
- cow control
- Posts: 24497
- Joined: Thu May 27, 2004 12:14 am
- Location: The traffic jam of life
K ~ I can't stand when you call me one to three times a week asking for a ride to work. I have a life too! And if I'm in my town, and I have no real reason to be in your town, then that's two hours for you! Two fucking hours just for you! And we're together 10 minutes, if even that! I don't like doing this. I don't enjoy it and it's stupid. Especially when you call me less than an hour before you have to be at work and it takes me 45 minutes to get to you! I don't even want to answer my phone when you call because I know what it's for. I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE USING ME WHEN NO ONE BETTER IS AROUND TO TAKE YOU TO YOUR FUCKING JOB! Fucking use the taxi service and get over yourself.
My Place Visitors are welcome. New First Post 12/16/08
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)
:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:
Forever Satan of RW
Married to Reine, nicki, han & klove
WDS, snowangel, kicks, figment & Chey (plus kitties) belong to me!
Stef is my twin
Klove's partner....(in crime! Get your mind outta the gutter already!)
:.*.:NO HUGS:.*.:
- HiddenByLies
- beyond inspiring
- Posts: 9109
- Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2004 12:30 am
- Gender: Female
- Location: My Own World Interests: Music, Art & Poetry Age: 22
Dear you,
It tears me up inside to admitt that I was trying to move on and forget you. I now realize that I could never forget you; why would I even have wanted to? I need you now. I need you to be here. You will never be back though, and I need to accept that, but I just can't.
I still feel like I'll get a message from you, or you'll call my phone and leave me a short, yet meaningful and caring voicemail. But that will never happen.
I miss you so much. I wish I had told you all that I needed to, but now I have to rely on prayers to hope that the messages get to you.
I love you, so much.
It tears me up inside to admitt that I was trying to move on and forget you. I now realize that I could never forget you; why would I even have wanted to? I need you now. I need you to be here. You will never be back though, and I need to accept that, but I just can't.
I still feel like I'll get a message from you, or you'll call my phone and leave me a short, yet meaningful and caring voicemail. But that will never happen.
I miss you so much. I wish I had told you all that I needed to, but now I have to rely on prayers to hope that the messages get to you.
I love you, so much.
she looks so happy to me and you
but inside her body are secrets and lies
they're all her own that she hides behind
her radiant mask her wonderful grace
but inside she's wondering why she's stuck in this place
but into her being she'll fall and remain
until someone frees her it's all just the same
Maurice --> <-- Bylies
|-MY PLACE-|
|-my poetry-|
- 5th section
- just plain inspiring
- Posts: 7753
- Joined: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:06 pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: if rain makes Britain great then Manchester is greater
- Contact:
LETTING US DOWN WITH 1 WEEK TO GO! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT? "OTHER COMMITMENTS"?? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'VE GO TO DO THAT'S SO FUCKING IMPORTANT??!?!?!!!
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
- Anna James (1984-2007)
son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...
GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009
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