Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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5th section
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Post by 5th section » Wed May 28, 2008 1:03 pm

is that really the reason?
You don't have to put it gently, I can take it (at least I think I can)
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

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Post by zombiepeople » Wed May 28, 2008 10:32 pm

"Aaw you fail!" ???I know you're just joking honey, but I just got back fro a 2 1/2 mile walk to ask about jobs that I really don't want and I just got home to eat and you say I suck because I didnt' wait around by the phone hoping you would call me out of the blue to come eat? Besides, I'm basically broke, and you know that...also the last time we went to that place, you and your entire family made fun of me for not knowing what to do when I got the food! You're still one of my best friends, but right now, fuck you. :evil: Just leave me alone.
"Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song?"
~Serj Tankian
"Honking Antelope

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ultimate starshine
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Post by ultimate starshine » Thu May 29, 2008 8:10 pm

Did I ever tell you i believe in fairies. I really do. But I dont think i have because I am certain you would laugh. And that I jsut cant take.
Sprink is my wonderful gobby (goblin) daughter
I am 5th Sections mummy
RDS is my amazing sister
Elmoscaresme is my adorable niece
I am Eisa's Fairy

"The marks I make, The steps I take, Prove i still exist" ~ written by me."

"Never let the fear of striking out... stop you from playing the game" - A cinderella story

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PassingCloud
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Post by PassingCloud » Thu May 29, 2008 10:18 pm

you are making me so angry, i hate you sometimes.
you don'T think about things before you say them, you don't realize how hurtful those things are. you don't see me as an equal, as the adult i've always been foryou. and i hate that.

i hate that you see that i know more in some respects, and then completely disregard anything i have to say and just push my opinions away like that.

i hate you sometimes. i really do.
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[I'm talking about my life.][I can't seem to get that through to you.]
[I'm not just talking about one person,][I'm talking about everybody.]
[I'm talking about form, I'm talking about content.][I'm talking about inter-relationships.]
[I'm talking about God, the Devil, Hell, Heaven!]
[Do you understand?]
[Finally?]
(one flew over the cuckoo's nest)

:redstar:
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kittyfever
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Post by kittyfever » Thu May 29, 2008 11:53 pm

FUCK YOU! I'm sick of being ignored.

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ThanksALatte
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Post by ThanksALatte » Fri May 30, 2008 3:44 am

is it because you no longer need me? or because i insisted on closure? or because now that you're friends with C* and R* again you no longer want me to be around? how do you go from being super close friends to "i don't want to be close with you" so quickly and not have a reason? you say "i changed." but none of your other friendships are any different. or maybe they're different but you're still close with them. you still want that. what makes me so different?? all those times you were so upset with my insecurities...i dont' see how you can justify that when they were all apparently true.

you do realize that this just confirms what i've fought believing my entire life: 1) that i'm worthless unless i'm being useful 2) i'm not good enough and fail at everything and 3) i'm defective. i was just starting to work past some of these...and this makes it harder. i know that's not your fault. it's mine. but it just makes it harder.

the words you used absolutely crushed me. there were better ways to say it you know. and i don't know how to recover from them.
<>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <><
"A thousand times I've failed, still Your mercy remains...should I stumble again, I'm caught in Your grace..."

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kittyfever
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Post by kittyfever » Fri May 30, 2008 8:49 am

I'm important. What I feel matters. You should and NEED to listen to me..

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Post by troubles undone » Fri May 30, 2008 4:07 pm

R: are you holding something against me? have i done something wrong? because it really does feel like it. like last night...i tried to be there for you but its really really hard when it feels like your pushing me away. and it feels like im getting the blame for that...its as if you're resentful at me for something.
personally i think im far too understanding...i should probably be less easy going and say what i mean a bit more. but i can't.
i guess im slightly resentful towards you about your ex. he still treats you like shit and you still go running to him when he does his attention seeking bullshit. and that hurts. but i am sympathetic...i've been there done that. so i understand.
i guess im also resentful that even through this you are still friends with him. and when i see myspace comments like 'we should go to xyz gig in the summer. its in brighton, we could get a hotel room and stay a couple of nights, just the two of us' i get jealous. but i dont say anything. because im scared things will get out of hand like they do sometimes and then we wont talk for a few days and things will be all weird. and i dont want that. you'd also know that i have been uncoding your myspace and reading your comments.
so i leave it and i dont let it affect us.
cos i dont talk about my ex all the time. but with you its always 'jack this, jack that' and y'know thats never the best subject to talk about really, but especially so when you know i HATE him because of what he's done to you. it makes it 10 times worse. and its not even jealously, its hatred. and feeling a bit second best.
so just...tell me whats wrong, yeah?
dont keep saying things are 'fine' cos thats such a bullshit answer and its obvious that things are far from fine.
just...talk to me.
thats the whole point of us being together.


A: its funny how some things and some people just NEVER change. no matter what they go through and no matter how many times they promise to change, they never do. and you are a prime example one of those people. you still lie through your teeth...you're little bulletins crack me up with all the lies in them, its quite amusing actually. but you still make my blood boil because its obvious that even after everything, you havent changed and i think of all the other people you're going to screw over and it makes me sad and angry.
but hey, its you're life and im glad im out of it because i am far happier than i have ever been, even after that huge rant above.
i guess im saddened that all that was in vain. but some people are just nasty pieces of work and i've accepted thats just what you are.
have a miserable life :]
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"Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word

Love is just a hoax
so forget anything that you have heard
And live for the moment now"


"VITA YOY EST VIVERE SED VALERE VITA EST."
-There is more to life than just being alive.

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Beasty
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Post by Beasty » Sat May 31, 2008 4:46 am

Please get on so we can talk. Please initiate a conversation. I want you, sadly enough, and I need to know.
"No boom today. Boom tomorrow. There’s always a boom tomorrow. What? Look, somebody’s got to have some damn perspective around here. Boom, sooner or later. BOOM!" - Susan Ivanova

Eisa = Beasty's Twin

Beasty's Place!

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Post by purplefroggydishwasher » Sat May 31, 2008 10:43 am

this is my fucking life. when i go home it feels like my life is over for the time. this is why i get up in the fucking morning. do you have any idea how much this shit means to me?
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Aly
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Post by Aly » Sat May 31, 2008 11:32 am

I'm afraid I just don't believe you when you tell me that.
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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Post by vampirelover » Sat May 31, 2008 12:59 pm

I need someone to love
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days

Chey Kizoxie

Post by Chey Kizoxie » Sat May 31, 2008 6:07 pm

im starting to doubt you are getting stuff sorted for me. You said you would have this done in late april, early may at the latest... we are now on the LAST day of may... when do you plan on telling me? The day before I start? You would do that wouldnt you. My deafblindness scares you dosnt it. You dont truely think I am capable of doing these placements. If i dont hear from you by wednesdday i swear im going to get C* involved again. GRRRR!

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Post by VowsOfSadness » Sat May 31, 2008 10:54 pm

Dear Boyfriend,

Dearest Jonnycakes.

I will never again have a chance to call you Jonnycakes. To try and make you laugh. To bicker with you. To get back together with you from our break. We will never be intimate again. No one will ever call me at night to say goodnight, especially not you. No one will text me I love you a million times a day. That was only you.

And the hardest part is why did you not call me before you did this??? Why would you leave me here alone when you said we would always be together. I thought fate brought us together. What cruel fate is this?


I don't want anyone else. I just want you. I told you that a million times. I just wish I was in your arms. I just wish I knew. If I knew if it was me that hurt you or what it was.

I know the last time we talked on the phone. now is the last time ever. and I know we talked about Kt and I ended up crying. But you had not hurt me. and I texted you at 1 and suspected something odd when you never texted me back.


What could I tell you if I had the chance?? If you were here and I was looking you in the face? What would I have told you had I not been so scared, had I been more open? I would have told you Yes I will marry you. And I would have spent all day & night telling you I love you. I would have come to see you everyday. I would have made you feel better.


but youre gone forever. my jonnycakes. gone. and it hurts so bad to be left behind.

im just so scared without you.
you once said I didn't know anything about heartbreak

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you
*Challenges welcome*
I always love a :lpurpstar:

I woke up this morning, I suddenly realized we're all in this together.

Drop by my place & say hi :)
Ask me anything!!!

I'm fully Recovered!

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Aly
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Post by Aly » Sat May 31, 2008 11:10 pm

I miss you. And pretend I don't. And I'm sorry.
I hate that you are gone and I desperately want to bring you back.
And I feel so pointless and so helpless.
And I want you back because I now know all the things I would do differently.
And I wish I could still believe you were coming back.
I miss that comfort.
And I miss you. And please come back.
The wind and I, we speak the same, but he don’t hear so well.
Well, you’re gonna have to curse him, well you’re gonna have to yell.
The sky and I, we’ve had our fights and I’m coming round to rain,
Well, if the rain come round and it don’t come out, then I’ll never have to speak again,
I can tick tick tick tick tick tick tick away.


If Heaven is as Heaven does then this is Hell for sure...

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kittyfever
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Post by kittyfever » Mon Jun 02, 2008 1:23 am

Fucking pay attention to me!!! I sent you a message nearly two weeks ago, it was long and important and you still haven't responded to it.

Everything else is so important to you, you make time for everyone else but me, I'm the afterthought. Well no more, now you're gonna be my afterthought.

Your birthday is coming up, I'd act better if I were you..I'm not trying to be mean or difficult, I just want some love. Why can't you give it?

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Spidey
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Post by Spidey » Mon Jun 02, 2008 12:35 pm

YOU ARE AN IDIOT JUST SHUT UP AND GO AWAY.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

:cowave:

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Mon Jun 02, 2008 5:17 pm

A - your dependence on me is what destroyed it, i can't deal with being your lifeline anymore. or anyone elses for that matter. i need to live for me not simply because someone else might crumble if i need time alone to myself. i wish i could make you see that, but i know i can't. you're not ready to see that, to understand that, to realise that i can be ok all on my own and that part of that being ok means living my life for me and not for everyone else out of fear that if i do someone will end up dead or in a hospital ward somewhere. i'm sorry i can't be that constant pillar of strength for you anymore, but i need my strength for me, so that i can move on with my life and develop my counselling skills so i can help people properly without running myself into the ground and giving my own life up for the sake of keeping them alive in their fragile state.

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Post by Cuppy » Mon Jun 02, 2008 6:15 pm

.....
Last edited by Cuppy on Wed Jun 11, 2008 6:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Holi
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Post by Holi » Tue Jun 03, 2008 10:22 pm

I don't know....
I really don't know
On the one hand I'm fine, I'm jovial and I can just laugh it off
But then theres still a part of me thats horrified, the paranoid part
I don't know if everyone is wonderful and accepting, or notices as much as I do.
I don't know how much you know, or what you think, if you know what it's like, or if you think it's something else...
Please don't think of me like that. It's far to complex for me to ever tell you, but one day I will, when you're old, and I'm out of this mess, and when I understand it all. We'll look back, maybe over a drink, and be able to laugh at it, laugh it off, but be glad it's over and better. That's my dream... I just don't know how that'd happen. If I'll even get there.

I wish.... I could tell you though
If you knew, I'm sure you would help, I'm sure
If you knew it was pure, and desperate, not tainted, then I'm sure you'ld help me understand, or just be there if I needed someone

Why does life have to be so f***ing complicated?

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