Rant, rave, rage and riot *la*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sat Dec 29, 2007 2:23 pm

fuck off. fuck off. fuck off. fuck off.

just because i am choosing to go into leeds at 2pm rather than 7am like you would doesn't give you a right to be nasty and undermining.

so just fuck off and die mother so that i can dance of your fucking grave.

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calypso
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Post by calypso » Sat Dec 29, 2007 2:38 pm

Dear back, neck and shoulders,
FUCKING RELAX ALREADY! It huuuuuuuuuuuurts you bastardy things, and I'm sick of it!
Yours in annoyance and pain,
Laura

WildChild101
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Post by WildChild101 » Sun Dec 30, 2007 7:25 am

WHY CANT I JUST GET TO SLEEP????!!!!!!??

my head hurts
i feel sick
im too hot

and im too busy thinking about stuff
im so tired
sleep! sleep! sleep!
oh wait, its half six. time to get up.
screw this.

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Porcelain_Doll
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Post by Porcelain_Doll » Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:31 am

Fuck Fuck Fuck! I hate you! You're ruining everything. I'm angry, and frustrated, and there's nothing I can do and I hate it!
Never to suffer would never to have been blessed.
-Edgar Allan Poe
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purplefroggydishwasher
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Post by purplefroggydishwasher » Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:39 pm

so fuckinglong, don't you think i deserve an answer?!?!?

i thought i was your fucking best freind and you blow me off just like that? cus your a little tired? FUCK YOU! i've been working THREE JOBS, at least two different places everyday since fucking christmas, i was giving you my only day off in the forseeable future and you just say you are too fucking tired because you wotrked two tow hour shifts, one of them you probably spent watching tv and eating fucking flake! boo fucking hoo!

yeah, i am glad you got me the job, and in case you ahven't noticed i ahve been taking you to and from it for the past month. stop treaing me like i'm fucking two! i am not an idiot, i do my job well.

and stop fucking rubbing it in my face that you're in uni! do you fucking know what i've had to go through to get where i am? my life is fucking ruled by the pills! if it werent for this bipolar shit, i would ahve been halfway through fucking med school by know! we both know i'm smarter, can you stop trying that silly fucking points game with me? i am booksmart and world smart, least i can say for you. and no, an appropirate conversation with a mate after you ahve not seen each other for a few weeks is óh do you remmeber such and such from ward 6? well, the died.'what school of ettiquette and sense did you fail from you dickhead?!?!?! why not tell me about your chrismas and new years, or give me a chance to tell my news? but no, straihgt out with the dead people. merry fucking christmas to you too!

boss, you are a nhice man. but you stink to the high fucking heavens, and didn't you know it is RUDE to carry on a converstaion in another language when we all speak english? it is fucking rude! how would you like it if i spoke to my mate in indonesian the whole night so you can't tell what we are saying?!?! fucking stop it!

and fishy, get out of the forties. women today can actually cook at a grill.... they did so back then. telling me to wash the dishes cus it is a woman's job, when cooking the grill IS WHAT I WAS FUCKING EMPLOYED FOR. and by the way... a souvalaki contains a wrap, onion, tomato, meat, sauce and lettuce. it's not that fucking hard. i had it written down on the paper. i get home and my mum's souvalaki has no sauce, no tomato and the meat was pretty much charcoal. next time, you are washing the fucking dishes.

to all the mates i meet around the place... when you run into me and say óh we should meet up'but every time i try to contact you after that you are too busy, next time or whatever. its not fucking cool. i am trying to make time for you, i want to come and see you, and by your words i assumed you did i. you know i'd murder for the lot of you if you asekd me to, why can't you spare me a bit of thought!!!

i fucking hate that i need to work so fucking much. i took the fucking summer off just so i could have some fun with my mates. i ended up working five times more than i hadbeen, for two thirds of fuck all, and i've not seen my mates once. this is just fucking shit. on all the tv shows and add's and aroudn town you see all the people enjoing time with their friends and it has never been me, and i want it too. after all the fuick i have been through i deserve a bit of fucking fun.

i'm on that many fucking meds right now that i can't fucking see straight. i'm either constipated, or nauseous, stoned out of mmy mind, dizzy, sunburnt, headachy or some other shit, for a barely controlled mood disorder. i'm takeing six different meds and it's tstill not fucking working. four years of this shit, and i've fucking had a gutfull! the fucking pills ahve even taken away my si routine. i have no fucking escape! what's the fucking point of being sane if you don't even get a fucking break to enjoy it!
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Holi
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Post by Holi » Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:58 pm

Stupid Parents, all I bloody ask for, is for you to wake me up before the afternoon starts, the only way I'm gonna be able to sleep is if you wake me up! And I don't care if i'm a bitch in the morning, I hate to break it to you, but EVERYONE IS!!!!\
I mean, it's not like I have SCHOOL in 3 days? It's not like I'm going to get top braces on tuesday, and I wont be able to eat for a week, I don't need to be fucking tired on top of that. And I'm going back to school, which I hate anyway, I don't want to be falling asleep in lessons that I'm failing already. I have Mocks coming up in May, and 2 tests coming up next week, I'm probably going to get moved down a set in Maths, so all I ask for you is for you to WAKE ME UP, is it TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!
:omad: :omad: :argggh: :argggh: :hmad: :hmad: :omad: :bad-words: :bad-words:

*breathes*
Much better :P

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MusicalMorphine
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Post by MusicalMorphine » Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:36 pm

Stop fucking sending me mixed signals! I wasn't sure if you liked me or not, I talked to my friend and thought about it and came to the conclusion that maybe you did, you were just shy. Then today you fucking do that and now I don't know what to do. Was that your way of showing me you don't want it, or are you completely oblivious? I was going to try and talk to you but after that I don't know if I should even bother. I don't want to make an idiot out of myself. I like you so fucking much, why do you make it so difficult?

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Licentia Poetica
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Post by Licentia Poetica » Mon Jan 07, 2008 7:32 pm

*sigh*

i can't sleep.

*whines*

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steady hands
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Post by steady hands » Tue Jan 08, 2008 6:15 am

QUIT FUCKING TELLING OTHER PEOPLE ABOUT ME AND MY BUSINESS.

you're a fucking whore.
I hate you.
I never should've told you.


I hope you fucking rot in a pool of your bullshit.


fucking whore.

XxxXfallen-angelXxxX
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Post by XxxXfallen-angelXxxX » Wed Jan 09, 2008 2:35 am

Y THE FUCK DO I LOVE YOU WHEN YOUR STRAIGHT AND HAVE 3 KIDS !!!! I DONT WANT 2 FUCKING LOVE U BUT MY DAMN STUPID FUCKED UP HEART OBVIOUSLY DOES SO QUIT BEING SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!

O AND DAD U SAY U 'ACCEPT ME' WELL GUESS WAT I DONT NEED ACCEPTING U FUCKING ARROGANT ARSEHOLE

AND FUCK ALL YOU HOMOPHOBES THAT ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MY SEX LIFE, YOU WOULDNT GO UP TO A STRAIGHT GUY AND ASK HIM WHAT HE HAS DUN IN BED!!!!
GRRRRRRR

LOL

xx

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kendra
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Post by kendra » Tue Jan 15, 2008 2:54 am

fucking dumbass bitch I know more about psychology than your stupid ass so stop trying to say it's all in my head and do your damn job! Hell I'm starting to believe that I may know more about medicine than you considering I can see that this little number says its too high and this little number says this result is too low.
Do your fucking job and look outside the box instead of pawning me off onto someone else.
I don't care that you want me to see the psychiatrist, I know what the results will be but don't you DARE question my intelligence (and damn it takes a lot for me to even make that statement!). Again what the fuck are you going to actually do when I get back to you with a perfectly clean bill of mental health and the shits back in your lap again?

Fuck off kaiser, ya know what you live up to your name of Kaiser (an emperor) you all act like you know all and drive people who are already tired and sick until they can't fight any longer.

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Cellardoor
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Post by Cellardoor » Wed Jan 16, 2008 1:37 am

and i still don't know what to do.
im overworked and overtaken and im just not sure if i can do it.
i use up most of my energy fighting against self destruction,
and the rest being self destructive!
I can't win.
and please don't count on me.
when you say, "well you're definitly going to get an A in english..."
it makes my heart go funny.
I try and then i don't try hard enough and then i cry and then i give up and then i panic and i try too hard and then i collapse and then im even further behind and it all starts again.
I just wish it was over.
sometimes i wish it was all over
And the funny thing is the wrong girl is keeping me going.
I love J, she is my everything, my everything,
but then when i find my self thinking about someone else.
Does it mean i don't love you as much anymore?
Does it mean im getting over you before we've even ended?
Does it mean that i do actually like girls,
that you're not just a funny exception to my straightness?
What if something did happen,
Would i tell you?
Could i betray you?
But i watch her mouth when she talks so i forget to listen to what shes saying and i feel a shock when we look at each other,
And i know she feels that bit too,
it takes two to make a connection.
but FUCK she has M and i have you and we are both so in love with other people.
Have we lost our magic?
I don't jump up to read your texts anymore.
I don't get the bus straight to your house.
But i would for her.
And omg my wrist hurts and im such a fucking tool...
And i am just so tired.
But christ why don't i just go to sleep like a normal person?
Um, tired? GO TO BED FOOL.
my god.
Maybe if we could tell people.

and oh, i feel so bad for even thinking about anyone else.
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I built my house,
Where the ocean meets the land,
It's time to live again,
And pull my dreams out of the sand.


(take the pieces and build them skywards)
(expressions)

FOUR YEARS HAPPY AND FREE!

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Scatterbrain
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Post by Scatterbrain » Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:04 am

Goddamn it. I am so fucking tired of feeling this way. Can there just be one day when I'm not urgy. Just one fucking day. That would be good. I cant deal with this and study, read, and focus on all the school work I have to do. It just doesnt work. I'm so fucking tired of this. I dont have time to think about SI or else I'm going to fall even farther behind and its just going to get worse and begin that vicious cycle. Fuck this.

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

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Holi
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Post by Holi » Mon Jan 28, 2008 8:41 pm

To A and C - For Christ Sake stop for once! Don't you ever bloody stop talking! The joke was THIS MORNING, and you didn't stop laughing ALL DAY.
All I ask for is some peace and quiet, I have head off to the bloody loos for some silence.

To MT - You are a cruel and arrogant bastard. You and JY just sitting in the corner whispering and laughing, and you say your a fucking nice person? If you are going to bloody bitch, at least do it discreetly without the little looks and giggles. And It's not just me, you are HORRIBLE To everyone else. And you manage to get away with a smug smile and a laugh, asshole.

To Dad - Just leave me alone, I just got in. It's not like my bags on the floor are going to kill the world, with their trip hazards. I hadn't even got I drink of water and you were already on my case

To J - Tell me what you know, I keep getting the feeling you are doing this behind my back. Just stop it. Stop being an asshole.

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Scatterbrain
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Post by Scatterbrain » Thu Jan 31, 2008 8:12 pm

JM- You fucking asshole. I cant believe I trusted you. Your own goddamn son.. unbelievable. And I'm sure you are oblivious to it. I hate how you pretended to care, I do believe you actually cared at one point, and then promptly ditched me when I became an inconvenience. Well, fuck you. I hope you burn in hell, douchbag. I hate that you have ruined my ability to give people the benefit of the doubt. I hope I never see you again. I also hope you can get your shit together enough to pull your head out of your ass and see what your son is going through. But, I reiterate, fuck you.

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

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ultimate starshine
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Post by ultimate starshine » Thu Jan 31, 2008 8:45 pm

E and K... you are both bitches and if i had my way iu would never fucking talk to you again. how can you sleep knowing howe much you are bullying me, making me seem wothless and downright hurting me
i used to loe you both, and now i find you sick and twisted individuals
Sprink is my wonderful gobby (goblin) daughter
I am 5th Sections mummy
RDS is my amazing sister
Elmoscaresme is my adorable niece
I am Eisa's Fairy

"The marks I make, The steps I take, Prove i still exist" ~ written by me."

"Never let the fear of striking out... stop you from playing the game" - A cinderella story

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handmade mute
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Post by handmade mute » Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:49 am

Family: a get together should not run like a military operation. We are not the CIA, or whatever, we are a family. The whole keeping secrets thing is crap. I'm not living my life like this. Get over yourselves, and talk to each other! If you hate someone, tell them, stop pretending to care when you don't! And stop getting joy out of other peoples misfortunes, you cold hearted wankers.

A, D, M, L: I know you think I'm an idiot, and that I'm naive, for visiting them both. But I'm not. I never forgot, and I haven't forgiven, I'm just getting the information I need. You either shut up and let me do it, or back the fuck off. No more warnings, no more lectures or sermons and definately no more getting pissed at me! M & L especially! I mean, you two say I'm a manipulative little bitch when it suits you, but suddenly I'm clueless? I wish you'd just back the hell off. My life, my choice. Just because it's not the choice you'd make doesn't mean I can't do it.

K: I am not your hired help. If you want to ask a favour, be nice to me. Don't just come online, not even say hello, and start telling me what I'll be doing to help you. Why should I be rushed off my feet because of your stupidity? And if I say I'll help, try saying thank you. Because now, screw you, I'm waiting a fortnight to help. Why? Because you're a bitch, and I'm not helping you until *I* feel like it. Also? After knowing you'll get my help, maybe you could show an interest in me, rather than moving to ask about P. Dumbfuck. You're lucky I don't 'accidentally' delete those photos you need.

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Blake 1
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Post by Blake 1 » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:52 pm

You're so annoying always thinking that you are better than everyone else. Stop looking at me like I am the stupidest person in the world. I didn't like you from the start and I don't like you now. Just let me be, that's all I ask.
I'm not as
naive
asi wook

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zombiepeople
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Post by zombiepeople » Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:20 pm

D. You keep telling me you love me and really care about me, but I haven't heard a word from you for the last three months! You're always in and out of my life, yet when you're in my life, you keep telling me I just need to join your religion and give up my way of life to be happy. Why the fuck do I even keep coming back to you wanting to be your friend, and trusting you when all you do is leave?

L. I hate you, stay the fuck away from me and my little brother. If dad wants to see you so god-damned badly, then you and he can run off together and be happy far the fuck away from me.
"Wouldn't it be great to heal the world with only a song?"
~Serj Tankian
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mephistopheles
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Post by mephistopheles » Tue Feb 05, 2008 7:37 pm

I fucking HATE having a cold, gah, people look at you like...welll, wtf are you making a fuss about? And they're right! But it's just sooo annoying, pathetic little cough and temperature and sniffing, is there anything as undignified as sniffing?! Ack!

And I have to go sit outside in the rain tomorrow for two hours, hello chest infection :roll: .

So NO you will not "see me soon", I will not be at practise, I don't want my temperature to sky rocket, thankyouverymuch.

So there :tongue:
“Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.”

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