Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

marylou · Post by **marylou** » Thu Oct 06, 2005 12:54 pm

I'm not coping.

Bandgeek · Post by **Bandgeek** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 4:47 am

SI, trig
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You called again later and i was so drunk i could'nt walk.
you called while i was cutting, and i didnt stop.

Post by **treasure** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 7:12 am

i keep reminding myself of the little things about my friends that pisses me off so i have a reason for not calling them. i'm sick of ppl not knowing how to help and talking to them just makes me hate myself more for not being normal.

what_if · Post by **what_if** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 10:29 am

For the first time in a long time, i feel.....happy. And all i want is to feel miserable and useless again.

smr89 · Post by **smr89** » Fri Oct 07, 2005 9:40 pm

He called. I answered the phone. I wish I hadn't.
Too many times I get my self-value from who I'm around.

shadow of a smile · Post by **shadow of a smile** » Sat Oct 08, 2005 12:16 am

yeah, i've got about $25. i feel like a moocher off of my bf and parents b/c i know they'd give me $$ to get me thru but...yeah. i really need a job.

gin and kerosene · Post by **gin and kerosene** » Sat Oct 08, 2005 2:40 am

For the first time ever I feel POWERFUL and no one knows what Im about to do. Its the most liberating feeling ever. I wish everyone on bus could some day feel this great. I hope that everyone gets what they want or need. Sometimes its a downer to come here cuz everyone is going thru stuff but I know mostly everyone is strong and will survive this. Today I ate and didnt purge even tho i had every intention to but when I didnt , it didnt even matter to me. Today is just the first of many ok days to come. Today I am happy. Today I feel freaking alive.

marshmallowfluff · Post by **marshmallowfluff** » Sat Oct 08, 2005 2:14 pm

Alethea · Post by **Alethea** » Sun Oct 09, 2005 8:20 am

*PM's are ok*

-The more I push people away and draw into myself, the more I need someone there to bring me back.

-My parents don't know I still SI.

-I'm not as strong as I pretend to be.

-I'm only trying to quit again because I'm afraid of your tears - and I don't think that's strong enough. I'm afraid I'll just hide from you too.

-I'm terrified of losing people, that someday I will be invisible to everyone.

shadowavenger · Post by **shadowavenger** » Sun Oct 09, 2005 12:25 pm

*sometimes I wonder if transition is a mistake*
*i feel more like a girl inside than I would ever admit to anyone*
*i want my best friend to break up with her boyfriend because I want her for myself*
*the thought of having sex with anyone fills me with dread and fear*
*i want people to see my scars because I don't know how else to express my pain*
*i feel really bad about asking for help because I don't want to admit I need it*
*sometimes I think things I would never act on, that terrify me*
*i purge sometimes because it is the only way I can cry*
*i really, really miss my philosophy teacher who left at the end of last year and I don't know how I'm gonna get through my last year of school without his support*

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Sun Oct 09, 2005 8:23 pm

*****PMS PLEASE*****

Last night at homecoming I fell for a *boy*, and we kept just staring at eachothers eyes. We're both so weird. He was with my friend, but they werent *togather* if you know what I mean. I still felt akward, but I was upfront about it with her, her name was Kristal, and I were were hanging out Chris (the *boy*), and Kristal and Bobbi Jo. I kept getting left with Chris. I was cold and he let me wear his jacket. Everyone laughed cause I said he was cute but weird, and tehy said they didn't know who was weirder. I dunno if I am wrong. I dunno if I should be so open.

Cellardoor · Post by **Cellardoor** » Sun Oct 09, 2005 10:46 pm

im scared that im a fake. that i dont really have any problems, that i just make it all up for attention.

im also scared that im not a fake. that i do really have loads of problems, that im actually like this.

im scared that everyone will find out how much i lie, i lie to my friends, my family, teachers, strangers, unnessisary lies about random things that turn into big lies that worry them or impress them. i dont no what would happen if they found out half the stuff i told them is bullshit.

pms welcome...

theboldeditalics · Post by **theboldeditalics** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 6:17 am

**Replies are welcome in PM's or at my place.

I really don't know what I believe anymore.

Virginity?

Drugs....I've done some...I don't know if I care or not though.

Life?

Sexual Encounters...

Boys....

Girls...

Friends....

I'm feeling a little apathetic.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 4:37 pm

I have an update on the first post.

cariad · Post by **cariad** » Mon Oct 10, 2005 10:19 pm

when i tell people i was bullied, they nod, on one knows that it still affectsme now and too what extent it still goes on. i used the past tense, it feels like present.

i still dont fully remember.

because of one sentance everything changed, this has happened with three people now.

i lie to my T all the ime, she thinks ive only si'ed once in the last six months

i get so angry i get so scared of myself

i don't have any intention of recovering from my ED, after two years with the same T i still have no idea of how to live without it.

smr89 · Post by **smr89** » Tue Oct 11, 2005 2:49 am

I told him! I can't believe I told him! Why did I do that?! I am SO pissed at myself!!!!!!!!! Man, how stupid of me, and how embarrising. (forgive my bad spelling)

Lynn · Post by **Lynn** » Wed Oct 12, 2005 3:38 pm

I told the psychologist who did the tests with me my most embarrasing secret. She said it was important that I told. Now she'll probably pass this info on to my T but I don't want to discuss this with the T I am seeing now, I want to wait till my other T gets back.
I had to tell the psychologist... I filled something in at one of the tests and she asked me to explain that.. I had to.
This was the first time I told someone that secret that no one knows. And she was practically a 'stranger'!

Priceless · Post by **Priceless** » Wed Oct 12, 2005 4:05 pm

I love you, im obsessed with you, do you want me?

pm ok, or place

Green Beauty · Post by **Green Beauty** » Thu Oct 13, 2005 7:23 pm

*ed*

For the past few days i have had the urge to starve myself. In my head i even have it worked out, just another week to wait untill my parents are away.

Pm's allowed

gin and kerosene · Post by **gin and kerosene** » Fri Oct 14, 2005 3:02 am

i dont know what im living for
I keep wishing I would die but there is always something holding me back from just doing it. I used to think it was the disappointment that I know my family would feel but now i dont think i have anything left. I dont have anything left. I dont have anything left and I cant even cry about it. I cant scream about it I cant envoke any emotion.Im like a void and no one knows it. I dont try to hide it anymore but no one sees me and even tho i joke about wanting to die it was never really a joke. Its never a joke. Waking up is the hardest part and i dont want to do it anymore and I cant fake it and i have no idea of what im saying anymore and i just want to come clean. i wish i had the energy to scream i wish i had the willpower to live. I keep on wishing and im running out of coins.

DONT TOUCH ME! DONT EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN!

Secrets(inspired by PostSecret)-Please Stay Safe!

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