Things Left Unsaid - Version 3.0 *Language*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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ShellyT
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Post by ShellyT » Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:28 am

Mom, what have I ever done to make you believe that I'm irresponsible and untrustworthy? I've always gotten good grades in high school, and I still work hard in college. I didn't end up like so many other people my age dropping out of college and working a minimum-wage job with no future. I have a future. I'm working towards it. Aren't you proud of me? I've been dating him for almost 2 years now. We only see each other every 7 weeks. Do you know what that's like?? No. I can't even describe what it's like to be a couple hundred miles away from the one person I love for that long. If I wasn't serious about this relationship, don't you think that I'd have broken up with him by now? After all the pain we've been through? And now you want to limit the time we spend with each other because it makes you "uncomfortable." Well, when am I going to be allowed to spend the night with him? This isn't about sex. It never was. I can have sex with him whenever. To be so close and intimate with him, to get the most out of the small amount of time that I do see him would make me so happy. I'm fucking 19 years old now, mom. When am I going to be allowed to make my own decisions? When I'm 20? 21? What are you waiting for? If I recall, you got ENGAGED at 19. That's not something I'm ready for, so that's not what I'm asking for. Just to spend that much extra time with the one I love when we are together. What are you afraid of. Do you not trust me? Do you not trust him? What indication have I given you that I am not to be trusted with him? Why are you still trying to control my life?????

Let me go. I'll be fine on my own.
Essentially SI free for a 10 years now. Go me!

After all that bus has done for me in the past, I'm giving back. :heart:

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fadingbutterfly
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Post by fadingbutterfly » Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:30 pm

please can you just tell me if I'm allowed leave or not. I'm too anxious of waiting and I'm getting increasingly frustrated with you

Chey Kizoxie

Post by Chey Kizoxie » Wed Jan 16, 2008 1:57 pm

:evil: why :evil: do :evil: you :evil: insist :evil: on :evil: giving :evil: me :evil: first :evil: thing :evil: in :evil: the :evil: morning :evil: appointments.... :evil: I :evil: am :evil: NOT :evil: a :evil: morning :evil: person! :evil:

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vampirelover
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Post by vampirelover » Wed Jan 16, 2008 7:14 pm

Just because i used to selfharmed doesnt mean its the right thing to do. It may help know but you will regret it and the longer u SI for the harder it gets to quit. Believe me i know , stop while its easy.
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days

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vampirelover
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Post by vampirelover » Wed Jan 16, 2008 7:14 pm

mum why wont u let me be myself
longest with no slips - 2 years , 6 months
time since last slip : 2 days

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fadingbutterfly
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Post by fadingbutterfly » Thu Jan 17, 2008 5:13 pm

I feel really out of place in work here because of my religion, I keep thinking thats why you won't give me leave. Everyone else gets what leave they want and it makes me paranoid that because I'm not the same thats why you won't give it to me.

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LBC
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Post by LBC » Fri Jan 18, 2008 6:59 am

I'm sorry
If you believe everyone is the future
If you believe that nothing ever goes wrong
If you believe that deep down inside you're really falling apart
Know that everybody's weak and everyone can be strong. - Sloan

You always have a choice.

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fadingbutterfly
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Post by fadingbutterfly » Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:04 pm

It still hurts. At times I don't think I will ever get over it

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Holi
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Post by Holi » Sat Jan 19, 2008 1:29 am

Why am I feeling like this? Why? I don't even know you? Why is it plaguing my thoughts and going round and round, making me sick with confusion, and shame for something I don't understand.
Could someone tell me why?

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fadingbutterfly
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Post by fadingbutterfly » Sat Jan 19, 2008 6:19 pm

Leave me alone. You are frustrating me. I know you are bored but there's nothing I can do about it either. Please just stop asking me questions.

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Neviah
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Post by Neviah » Sat Jan 19, 2008 9:33 pm

Im not pretty, im not thin I KNOW stop telling me how fat i am, stop asking me if si hurts yes it fucking hurts you fucking nob of course it hurts thats why its INJURY or HARM you stupid fucker. And yes i am fat, yes i am fucking hideous its my problem not yours just cause you have to put down anyone who isnt fucking perfect! just cause you're there with your tiny waist and huge muscles. you make me want to die.

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amyfairy
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Post by amyfairy » Sat Jan 19, 2008 10:16 pm

i can do this.

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Scatterbrain
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Post by Scatterbrain » Sat Jan 19, 2008 10:17 pm

WTF is wrong with you? All you had to do was call me back. We could have talked for like 5 minutes and that would have been ok. But she is there. You said that you wouldnt ditch your friends when you got a girlfriend this time.. Well, clearly you lied. There are other people in your fucking life than K. And sometimes some of us need a little help. But whatever. I know this relationship is going to end at some point and you will be a fucking mess and I will call you back. Because I care. Because I want to help you.. dammit, cant you see that you arent the center of the universe and your feelings dont always get to be the most important thing? whatever. you can go fuck yourself for all that I care.

~Megan
"The impossible just takes a little longer."
- HCJ (1/9/25- 2/26/08 )

"That there, that's not me/I go where I please/I walk through walls/I float down the Liffey
I'm not here/This isn't happening"
- "How to Disappear Completely" Radiohead

Place: Want to live and breathe/I want to be part of the human race
PBH: Back to the basics

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Skyeler
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Post by Skyeler » Sun Jan 20, 2008 6:31 am

You give me a hard time because I don't go out anymore. Because I don't drink or do drugs or end up passing out on your couch every night.

I have more important things to do now than get shit faced every night. Believe it or not, I have a family that makes me happier than drinking until I puke ever could. I like the fact that I come home from work to go eat supper with Sarah and Hunter and then just stay home and be with them.

I never had that growing up, I never had a real family that liked being around each other. To me, this is better than anything I've ever done.

So fucking deal with it and go find new friends to do drugs with.


Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.
[/center]

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Holi
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Post by Holi » Sun Jan 20, 2008 11:09 am

Help me

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Spidey
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Post by Spidey » Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:08 pm

Skyeler wrote:You give me a hard time because I don't go out anymore. Because I don't drink or do drugs or end up passing out on your couch every night.

I have more important things to do now than get shit faced every night. Believe it or not, I have a family that makes me happier than drinking until I puke ever could. I like the fact that I come home from work to go eat supper with Sarah and Hunter and then just stay home and be with them.

I never had that growing up, I never had a real family that liked being around each other. To me, this is better than anything I've ever done.

So fucking deal with it and go find new friends to do drugs with.
i think that what you said is awesome.

props.
there is, in the end, the letting go.
-marya hornbacher

spidey immer voran
(spidey ever onward)

:cowave:

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:55 pm

i hate that despite all the good in my life, even the very sight of you makes me feel sick inside.

i hate even more that you text me on & off to talk to me but the one time i post a message on your facebook to see how you are, you delete it. how fucking dare you, you bastard! how fucking dare you keep treating me this way when we're not even together anymore! i pray for the day when you end up a bitter, alcohol-addicted woman beater like your father just so that i can laugh in your face.

fuck you.

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breathing
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Post by breathing » Sun Jan 20, 2008 6:27 pm

I need you and want you.

I'd like to hug you until the end of time.

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Callisto
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Post by Callisto » Tue Jan 22, 2008 11:37 am

i hate that because of you im suspicious of everyone new now.

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5th section
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Post by 5th section » Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:38 pm


This is getting ridiculous. It's been way too long.
Why can't I not love you? It would make everything so much easier. There must be a way to stop, surely?
...then one day I realised that the people you see in waiting rooms and car parks and on trains are really far more interesting. That they all have whole novels inside them, a fabric of scar tissues, photos and memories. They are comedies and tragedies and - more often - both at the same time.
- Anna James (1984-2007)

son of ultimate starshine / brother of Eisa & Sprink / Birdie's ornithologist / married to Mande / Chey's uncle
- my place
- my band (or more accurately, the band of which I am the bassist) some SI/SU triggers in lyrics...proceed with caution...

GOING STRAIGHT SINCE 1ST DECEMBER 2009

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