and here is something that has helped me alot, i think this will help you too Candy;
What to Do With Your Feelings
by Kali Munro, M.Ed., Psychotherapist, 2000
Intense emotion can be overwhelming for all of us. And if you're just opening up to an emotion, it can feel very raw. No matter how experienced you are with your emotions, we all need help sometimes to know how to deal with them.
Learning to recognize and stay with our feelings is a valuable experience. We can learn that just because we feel something, we don't have to act on it. Or that we can be angry and choose how to respond rather than let the anger control us. The more we know how we feel and ways to feel, release, be with, or let go of our feelings, the better we feel about ourselves.
How do I know what I'm feeling?
If you don't know how you feel or how to get in touch with your feelings try the following:
1. Try to identify how you feel by:
•
• Sitting quietly for a moment; you might want to close your eyes, and then wait and see what you notice from inside.
• Noticing how different areas of your body feel.
• Focusing on the areas of tension, breathe, and see if anything comes to your awareness. You don’t have to think about it.
•
• Noticing whether any thoughts, images, feelings, memories, sounds come to you. If nothing comes, that’s okay. You may still want to continue.
•
• Asking yourself how you feel, and being aware of what comes up including any images, memories, thoughts, songs, colours, and feelings. You don’t have to figure anything out, just be aware.
•
• If nothing comes to you, that's okay. Sometimes that happens. You may still want to try again, another time.
2. If you know how you feel but aren't sure how to get in touch with your emotions more fully, or what to do next, try acknowledging your feelings. The following might help you to do that:
•
• If you know how you feel, let yourself know that this is how you are feeling right now, and that’s okay.
•
• You don’t have to know where it is coming from.
•
• You don’t even have to know what to name it; you may simply know that you have a lot of pain in your chest.
•
• Breathe through it.
•
• Let your feelings just be there.
•
• You don’t have to do anything with them, just accept that this is how you feel.
But where do these feelings come from? They just seemed to come out of the blue.
If you want to understand why you feel a certain way you might want to:
1. Identify the source of your feelings:
•
• Know that you are not being "silly" or "crazy" for feeling how you feel; your feelings are there for a good reason.
•
• Turn inward, and ask yourself what are these feelings connected to.
• Wait and see what you notice. You might just know. You might remember something, see an image, hear a sound, notice tension in a particular area of your body.
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• Try not to analyse, interpret or judge what comes to you. Be open to what you notice.
•
• Go deeper. We may think we already know why we're feeling a certain way, but sometimes there is more to it than what we think. Being patient and receptive helps us to go deeper.
•
• If nothing comes to you, that’s okay, too. It helps to just let yourself feel
What do I do with these feelings?
2. Express or release your feelings.
Even if you don't know why you are feeling this way, you can still express yourself in the privacy of your own home.
•
• Focus on how you feel. Open your mouth and let a sound come from that feeling.
•
• Move with the feeling. You can dance, stomp around, kick, hit something.
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• Scream. If you are worried about the sound, you can scream into a pillow
• Cry. If you feel like crying, give yourself permission to do this.
• Write or draw from this feeling place. Don’t censor yourself, let the feeling do the writing or drawing.
•
• Say out loud what you need to say to someone.
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• Tell someone supportive how you are feeling.
It's too much for me. I can't take it any more. What do I do?
1. Comfort and reassure yourself:
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• Talk to yourself as you would a friend. Be gentle and kind.
•
• Reassure yourself with whatever you need to hear, for example, "I’m okay, I’m safe."
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• Curl up in a comfortable chair/bed with a blanket, a warm drink, a good book, or watch a show on T.V.
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• Do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself to something special, take a bubble bath, go to a spa, get a massage.
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• Talk to a supportive friend. Ask for what you need.
2. Take a break from your feelings:
Sometimes feelings become overwhelming and you need a break from them. This doesn't mean denying that they are there, only that you need a break and will come back to them later when you are rested. After taking a break, it is important to come back to your feelings. They may have changed, and that's okay
•
• Create a safe inner place. Let your imagination create an image of something(s) that represents how you are feeling right now. It may be concrete or abstract. Take your time, let your imagination develop this fully. Then imagine a protective bubble around this image, separating yourself from it. Look at the image. Notice that it is still there, but separate from you. Your feelings are still there, but you are not in them right now. You have a choice, you don't have to be in your feelings right now. Let yourself take the break that you need. Taking this break will mean that you will be better able to deal with them later. You may want to imagine yourself in a safe place -- any image that you choose.
•
• Remember times when you felt good. Let yourself relax and get comfortable. Breathe gently. Remember a time when you felt good, loved or calm. It could be something that really happened, or something that you create, like being near a waterfall. Imagine being in this situation or with this person, and feel all of those pleasant feelings. Feel your body shift from what you were feeling, letting those feelings go. Let yourself feel more relaxed, comforted or at peace. Stay with this memory or image until you feel really connected to it.
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• Exercise vigorously. This can help you to relax, feel energized, and generally feel better.
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• Do something that relaxes you.
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• Do something that absorbs your attention fully. This can help you to shift out of how you are feeling.
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• Get a change of scenery. If you have been at home or in the same room a lot, maybe you need to get out, even if only for a walk around the block. Change your patterns. If you always go home after work only to feel stuck in your feelings, maybe you need to do something different -- go see a concert, a movie, or have dinner out, something that makes you feel good. Doing things to take care of yourself alone may be better than going home alone.
_________________
Candys Coping Thread
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
Candys Coping Thread
I got your information,and I want to say thanks,I just wish I could get over this cold,my throat is bothering me.I copied them off. My mother was nice to me,for a chance,she bought me over a box for my coping stuff to put them in,which was nice of her,it suprise me. I know that my triggers for SI,is my mother's verbal abuse,feelings and emotions that I can deal with,cause they are to uncomfortable for me,and I find that writing in my journal helps,and I like doing my nails as well. I wish I could get over this cold,so I can find more stuff to add. I am collecting Hello Kitty pictures,wish I do not know if I am going to put in my scapebook yet,I have not decided what to do with them. I know that anger is a issue for me,and having low self-esteem is a another. Thanks for the Google website,I just need to figure out how to put it on the bus. I know that I will be moving into another apartment where I live,so if anyone knows the e-mail address,so I can get back on when it happens,not sure when I will move,I hate moving,it makes me more stress out. I will let you know when that happens,so I am not going to worry about that yet. I find that going to my program helps me alot,and I am learing to write poems,I will add one later on. I am taking it one day at at time. Keep smiling 
I will post soon.
I will post soon.
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candys Coping Thread
I had some tea,but colds wear me down. I have two poems that I wrote,and I am just learning. Here they are: 
The dolphins are
swimming freely
with the sun
Love is like a butterfly,free to love differently
Love is like a cat, a person to cuddle up with on lonely nights.
Love is like a star,never knows who going to touch the heart
Love is like a rainbow,everyone has different colors to glow and show.
Love never dies,love grows all the time within your heart.
Love is precious with everyone you touch,which makes the heart stronger and love deeper with the hugs you give and receive.
I am just learning to write poems and I hope you like them,not good yet,I just need a push to get back in my journal,with this cold,it is hard to do anything. I am glad that I wrote this thread,cause it is helping me alot. I am just taking things slowly.
Have a nice day everyone 
I will be back on soon.
The dolphins are
swimming freely
with the sun
Love is like a butterfly,free to love differently
Love is like a cat, a person to cuddle up with on lonely nights.
Love is like a star,never knows who going to touch the heart
Love is like a rainbow,everyone has different colors to glow and show.
Love never dies,love grows all the time within your heart.
Love is precious with everyone you touch,which makes the heart stronger and love deeper with the hugs you give and receive.
I am just learning to write poems and I hope you like them,not good yet,I just need a push to get back in my journal,with this cold,it is hard to do anything. I am glad that I wrote this thread,cause it is helping me alot. I am just taking things slowly.
Have a nice day everyone I will be back on soon.I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candys Coping Thread
Here is a list of coping information that helps me and I hope it helps you:
Strategies to address specific Functions of SI
Need to mark the body
Draw on your body with a red magic marker
Need to feel pain
Hold ice against your body for brief period, snap a rubber band against your wrist a few times
Need to feel pressure
Rub body surface with a soft brush
Need to feel
Eat something sour,touch something cold or rough,beat a drum,do jumping jacks, take a cold shower, gently massage your hand or arm.
Need to express rage
Punch a punching bag with boxing goves on: hit a pillow,throw snowballs,eggs,pine cones or rocks into the woods, at a wall, or into water;rip pages out of expired phone books
Need to punish yourself:
Write down the reasons you believe you need to be punished. Bring your list to discuss with your treater. Remind yourself that your feelings of guilt,shame, self-blame are punishing you right now. You do not need even more punishment: make yourself take timeout in a safe timeout space( a chair,your bedroom, a corner of a room.)
Need to feel calm or in control
Try deep breathing and/or relaxation, writing in a journal,talking to a supportive other, utilizing objects ( such as beautiful artwork,bubble bath, music,nature photography) that are soothing to one or more your senses,
walking outdoors and noticing your natural surroundings
Need to communicate indirectly ( pain, anger, punishment)
Write a letter, in red magic maker if it helps;paint a picture,whisper into a pillow;write in code.
This information has helped me alot and I use it all the time and I hope you find it helpful as well. Take care. I will be back on soon 
Strategies to address specific Functions of SI
Need to mark the body
Draw on your body with a red magic marker
Need to feel pain
Hold ice against your body for brief period, snap a rubber band against your wrist a few times
Need to feel pressure
Rub body surface with a soft brush
Need to feel
Eat something sour,touch something cold or rough,beat a drum,do jumping jacks, take a cold shower, gently massage your hand or arm.
Need to express rage
Punch a punching bag with boxing goves on: hit a pillow,throw snowballs,eggs,pine cones or rocks into the woods, at a wall, or into water;rip pages out of expired phone books
Need to punish yourself:
Write down the reasons you believe you need to be punished. Bring your list to discuss with your treater. Remind yourself that your feelings of guilt,shame, self-blame are punishing you right now. You do not need even more punishment: make yourself take timeout in a safe timeout space( a chair,your bedroom, a corner of a room.)
Need to feel calm or in control
Try deep breathing and/or relaxation, writing in a journal,talking to a supportive other, utilizing objects ( such as beautiful artwork,bubble bath, music,nature photography) that are soothing to one or more your senses,
walking outdoors and noticing your natural surroundings
Need to communicate indirectly ( pain, anger, punishment)
Write a letter, in red magic maker if it helps;paint a picture,whisper into a pillow;write in code.
This information has helped me alot and I use it all the time and I hope you find it helpful as well. Take care. I will be back on soon
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
Candys Coping Thread
Hi there to everyone 
Here is a cup of coffee to everyone 
Have a great day. I will be posting more soon. 
Here is a cup of coffee to everyone Have a great day. I will be posting more soon. I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
angelic212
- bus mechanic
- Posts: 3159
- Joined: Sun Jun 09, 2002 3:13 am
- Location: lost in the dark
- Contact:
Candys Coping Thread
I hope that everyone has a good night and I will be posting more tomorrow. Everyone take care and I will be back soon. I am glad that you find my coping thread helpful, I am doing the best I can. Have a good night as well. 
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candys Coping Thread
have a good night too,I will be on tomorrow sometime 
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candys Coping Thread
Hi everyone. I am back. I do not like it when I can not feel any good feelings when I have done something good,it is like I feel numb,and that is the way I am feeling today. Here are some statements when you are trying to stop SI,I hope they help you as they help me:
I have a solid emotional support system of friends,family,and or professionals that I use if I feel like SI.
There are least two people in my life that I can call if I want to SI
I feel at least somewhat comfortable talking about SI with three different people.
I have a list of at least ten things I can do instead of SI
I have a place to go if I need to leave my house so I do not do SI
I feel confident that I could get rid of all things that I might be likely to use to do SH
I have told at leat two other people that I am going to stop SI myself
I am willing to feel uncomfortable,scared,and frustrated
I feel confident that I can endure thinking about SI without having to actually do so.
I want to stop SI.
These are statements that can be helpful when dealing with SI,I know that it is not easy for me,but I read them all the time. I hope this does not bother anyone. My cold is still here and it is getting to me now. What kind of coping folder do you use? I hope everyone is doing ok and I hope that my information is helping eveyone. Have a nice day and I will be back on soon. I am proud of myself for doing my journal today and doing my nails. I wish I could feel it,that is what I am working on. I will be back on soon.Take care all
I have a solid emotional support system of friends,family,and or professionals that I use if I feel like SI.
There are least two people in my life that I can call if I want to SI
I feel at least somewhat comfortable talking about SI with three different people.
I have a list of at least ten things I can do instead of SI
I have a place to go if I need to leave my house so I do not do SI
I feel confident that I could get rid of all things that I might be likely to use to do SH
I have told at leat two other people that I am going to stop SI myself
I am willing to feel uncomfortable,scared,and frustrated
I feel confident that I can endure thinking about SI without having to actually do so.
I want to stop SI.
These are statements that can be helpful when dealing with SI,I know that it is not easy for me,but I read them all the time. I hope this does not bother anyone. My cold is still here and it is getting to me now. What kind of coping folder do you use? I hope everyone is doing ok and I hope that my information is helping eveyone. Have a nice day and I will be back on soon. I am proud of myself for doing my journal today and doing my nails. I wish I could feel it,that is what I am working on. I will be back on soon.Take care all
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candys Coping Thread
Hi to everyone
When I feel depressed,it helps me to talk to somone or get out of the apatment or write in my journal. My feelings and emotions are very hard for me to deal with and I have trouble regulation my emotions and I am been working on it. I like to do stamping with notebooks, I have one of a cat,butterfly,dolphin and flowers,and I have different colors to use. It helps me to stay busy.I have not started working on things in my coping box yet,but I will. I will find more information soon and I will be posting soon. I just wanted to drop in and let everyone know that I am doing ok and I hope you check out my coping thread. I will be back on soon.
take care all of you. I feel better now since I have done to make me feel better,I just take it one minute at a time. hang in there you all
When I feel depressed,it helps me to talk to somone or get out of the apatment or write in my journal. My feelings and emotions are very hard for me to deal with and I have trouble regulation my emotions and I am been working on it. I like to do stamping with notebooks, I have one of a cat,butterfly,dolphin and flowers,and I have different colors to use. It helps me to stay busy.I have not started working on things in my coping box yet,but I will. I will find more information soon and I will be posting soon. I just wanted to drop in and let everyone know that I am doing ok and I hope you check out my coping thread. I will be back on soon.
take care all of you. I feel better now since I have done to make me feel better,I just take it one minute at a time. hang in there you allI am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
one out of none
- bus addict
- Posts: 2874
- Joined: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:59 pm
Candys Coping Thread
Hi there,
I am hanging in there and I wish I could get over this cold. I need to also practice my coping skills all the time,cause when the urge to SI,gets to strong,I totally forgot about them,and then that is when I slip.I like to color,do puzzles, I need to get back into reading,wish I miss doing. I hope my coping thread helps you and you are weclome to post things that you might think that is helpful for me,and we can help each other.I will be back on soon
I am hanging in there and I wish I could get over this cold. I need to also practice my coping skills all the time,cause when the urge to SI,gets to strong,I totally forgot about them,and then that is when I slip.I like to color,do puzzles, I need to get back into reading,wish I miss doing. I hope my coping thread helps you and you are weclome to post things that you might think that is helpful for me,and we can help each other.I will be back on soon
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
Candys Coping Thread
I like to read stories that deal with cats,dolphins and some love stories,it depends on the book, I do not have any favorite book,but I have not been reading in a while,have to get myself back in to it. I like doing word finds as well,not crazy about crossword puzzles,to hard for me to do.
What do you like to read?
What do you like to read?
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
-
balletomane
- one of us
- Posts: 13705
- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:54 am
Hi Candy. 
I hope you are doing okay today.
I used to forget to use my coping skills too. One thing I tried once was putting my SI tools in a box, wrapping the box in tape, and writing nice quotes and coping skills to try on the box. That way when I went to SI, I was reminded of the coping skills I had to use. Have you tried something like that?Candy wrote:I need to also practice my coping skills all the time,cause when the urge to SI,gets to strong,I totally forgot about them,and then that is when I slip.
I hope you are doing okay today.
Candys Coping Thread
No, I have not tried that,but that sounds like a great ideal and I will give that a try.Thanks for the information. I gave alot of my SI,tools away,so I would not have them in the apartment,so I would not get tempted,but your ideal sounds real good. Again thanks
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
To find yourself,think of yourself first.
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