Things Left Unsaid *LA*
- squeegle_2419
- settling in
- Posts: 129
- Joined: Wed Dec 21, 2005 1:27 am
- Location: australia
awww thank yer sooo much
jess "whore" jess i love you much very you made my day just now i knew it i knew i could have faith awww youre awesome
grack
grack
what would a crazy person do without their shrink for 52 days.... do you want to see the end result of you leaving me?
- strmdncr
- forum moderator emeritus
- Posts: 11928
- Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2004 5:34 am
- Gender: Genderfluid
- Location: lost in the wilderness of my mind
N- I love you dearly, and b/c I love you so much I worry about you, about what your current behaviours are doing to yourself and what they are doing to your children. You've been through so much, the sa, the drugs and booze as a teen, our family growing up was tough place to be at times, the abusive males in your life, the death of your son, the hysterectomy when you were only 22 and the cancer that you had then. Right now though your running away from your troubles, I do not know if you really have cancer again or not, I want to believe what you say but there are too many inconsitancies in it all. People do not have brain tumors that they are going to be dead from a year and a half ago then stop treatment and still live. I believe that you believe you are blind, but I think you are psychologically blind, you've convinced yourself that you are, I don't think it has anything to do with tumors in your head pushing on your optical nerves. I wish you would go see a counsellor or therapist or something, someone to talk to about all the things you've been through...they weren't fair, they shouldn't have happened but...and here is the big part...they were not your fault!!!!!! You need to learn that, to accept that and move on from it. What your doing now is just hurting yourself and your kids....and yeah, honestly me. I wish I fucking knew how to help you, perhaps it's just going to be time that heals you...I don't know. Please know that I love you though.
A friend is someone who believes in you even when you've ceased to believe in yourself. (unknown)
strmdncr's sanctuary
strmdncr speaks
strmdncr's sanctuary
strmdncr speaks
can i have a little bit of attention and love, please? i'm sorry to keep going on and on about this, but right now i'm struggling and i don't know how else to get help.
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i know this is hard to understand, but i really need you to try to get past the BS in the media, and listen to the feelings i'm describing, and take them seriously. please. i think i've sacred you and confused you.
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miss you. don't really know what else i feel, when i think of you. i'm still a bit mixed up. but i miss you.
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there's gotta be more that's available for people like me. there's gotta be a way for me to get professional help without waiting for years on a list. i can't afford private. there's gotta be more options than this. please helpo me find them. this is so inadequate it's ridiculous.
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mage
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i know this is hard to understand, but i really need you to try to get past the BS in the media, and listen to the feelings i'm describing, and take them seriously. please. i think i've sacred you and confused you.
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miss you. don't really know what else i feel, when i think of you. i'm still a bit mixed up. but i miss you.
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there's gotta be more that's available for people like me. there's gotta be a way for me to get professional help without waiting for years on a list. i can't afford private. there's gotta be more options than this. please helpo me find them. this is so inadequate it's ridiculous.
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mage
"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." -- Vincent Van Gogh
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" --Nelson Mandela
No hugs, thanks
D:
Don't fucking ring me or ask me to ring you if all the 3rd sentence out your mouth is an insult toward me because I can't be all happy and bubbly. I'm fucking sorry alright. I'm sorry I can't be some happy bubbly little blonde bimbo. I'm sorry I have depression alright. If you don't like it so much that you're going to make nasty comments then just fucking dump me and get it over with.
About the only decent thing I get out of you when you're drunk is the fact that you realise that I'm not 100% ok. Not that I tell you that I'm anything but fine and not that I'll tell you what's up either, because you'll just laugh at me for saying it or mock me for it. I've given up telling you the truth about how I feel because you never tell me how you feel. I don't see why i should do it when you don't. Besides which, I'm starting to get the impression that you don't really care anyway. Or rather you only care when I'm in a good mood and not when I'm depressed.
Mother:
Piss off! Yes I didn't respond when you called today, want to know why, because I don't want to talk to you, because I didn't feel up to it. I don't like talking to you. I never like talking to you because all you do is whinge at me or shout at me or make snarky comments or complain about something i have/haven't done or treat me like a four year old. I am sick of it. You DO NOT need to call me every week. No one else's parent's call them every week. If something was to happen to me then uni or work would inform you, so for God's sake leave me alone to live my life unless you actually have something you need to tell me. I am nearly 20, and whether you want to or not that means you have to let go of your freakish control of me.
Stop calling me every week.
Stop expecting me to give two shits about you.
Stop expecting me to love you and want to talk to you.
It's never going to happen.
Don't fucking ring me or ask me to ring you if all the 3rd sentence out your mouth is an insult toward me because I can't be all happy and bubbly. I'm fucking sorry alright. I'm sorry I can't be some happy bubbly little blonde bimbo. I'm sorry I have depression alright. If you don't like it so much that you're going to make nasty comments then just fucking dump me and get it over with.
About the only decent thing I get out of you when you're drunk is the fact that you realise that I'm not 100% ok. Not that I tell you that I'm anything but fine and not that I'll tell you what's up either, because you'll just laugh at me for saying it or mock me for it. I've given up telling you the truth about how I feel because you never tell me how you feel. I don't see why i should do it when you don't. Besides which, I'm starting to get the impression that you don't really care anyway. Or rather you only care when I'm in a good mood and not when I'm depressed.
Mother:
Piss off! Yes I didn't respond when you called today, want to know why, because I don't want to talk to you, because I didn't feel up to it. I don't like talking to you. I never like talking to you because all you do is whinge at me or shout at me or make snarky comments or complain about something i have/haven't done or treat me like a four year old. I am sick of it. You DO NOT need to call me every week. No one else's parent's call them every week. If something was to happen to me then uni or work would inform you, so for God's sake leave me alone to live my life unless you actually have something you need to tell me. I am nearly 20, and whether you want to or not that means you have to let go of your freakish control of me.
Stop calling me every week.
Stop expecting me to give two shits about you.
Stop expecting me to love you and want to talk to you.
It's never going to happen.
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- knows the ropes
- Posts: 4554
- Joined: Wed Jan 19, 2005 5:12 pm
- you guys are simply the best, i dont know what i would do without you sometimes, you make me smile whatever im feeling and cheer me up so much and you dont even realise what you do which makes it even more lovely and special. I have so many good memories with you and i really do hope we stay in touch. I will have to see if i can come up and see you both next year in your uni life! You are such great friends, you both mean so much to me and i know you appreciate what i do for you as you loved those things i made you and it made me so happy to see.
- thank you so so much for everything. Sorry for melting on you earlier when we were talking on MSN, thank you for listening to me though and hearing me out and telling me my feelings were valid. I needed to hear that and i knew you could rely on you which meant a hell of a lot to me. I will find a way of repaying you for all youve done for me somehow.
- deleted so you cant read it again.
- thank you so so much for everything. Sorry for melting on you earlier when we were talking on MSN, thank you for listening to me though and hearing me out and telling me my feelings were valid. I needed to hear that and i knew you could rely on you which meant a hell of a lot to me. I will find a way of repaying you for all youve done for me somehow.
- deleted so you cant read it again.
Last edited by ~starblaze~ on Tue May 30, 2006 10:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
Darren:
I am worried about your drinking. I don't think its normal or healthy to drink so much every weekend that you can't remember things.
Also, you've always said that you don't change who you are when you're drunk, but that's not true. Lately who you are when you are drunk seems completely different to who you are when you aren't. I don't like who you are when you're drunk anymore. In fact I hate it because the person you are when you talk to me when you're drunk is rude and offensive and nasty towards me. That person makes me feel very bad about being depressed. That person also scares me a bit as he seems to not care about who he hurts with his words.
I am worried about your drinking. I don't think its normal or healthy to drink so much every weekend that you can't remember things.
Also, you've always said that you don't change who you are when you're drunk, but that's not true. Lately who you are when you are drunk seems completely different to who you are when you aren't. I don't like who you are when you're drunk anymore. In fact I hate it because the person you are when you talk to me when you're drunk is rude and offensive and nasty towards me. That person makes me feel very bad about being depressed. That person also scares me a bit as he seems to not care about who he hurts with his words.
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- awe-inspiring
- Posts: 6146
- Joined: Mon Jun 02, 2003 6:25 pm
- pistachio
- orange smartie
- Posts: 1660
- Joined: Tue Feb 24, 2004 2:40 am
- Location: In the middle of the pouring rain
- Contact:
i love you. you drive me crazy and most of the time i can't stand you but god dammit i love you so much and i still beleive in you. but i cant go back.
i love you even though its hard. i dont want you to leave and im sorry that everyone hates you because of me
i miss you and i want you back even though you dont think its worth it
you drive me crazy and i cant stand how you treat me, yet i still like you. i wish you would try harder to do the things you claim to want to do. i've given up.
i dont hate you, im worried
i love you and im trapped between the two of you. i love you both and i dont know what else to do, so try to understand.
i cant stop.
i love you even though its hard. i dont want you to leave and im sorry that everyone hates you because of me
i miss you and i want you back even though you dont think its worth it
you drive me crazy and i cant stand how you treat me, yet i still like you. i wish you would try harder to do the things you claim to want to do. i've given up.
i dont hate you, im worried
i love you and im trapped between the two of you. i love you both and i dont know what else to do, so try to understand.
i cant stop.
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