Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Thu Oct 02, 2003 7:35 pm

K: I'm sorry, I really am, but something had to be said. I can't keep shit like this from you forever when I'm supposed to trust you and all that fun stuff. I love you so much, and it hurts me so badly to see you warming her hands or hugging her in the hallway, but I shouldn't let it hurt me. I'm just overprotective because I've seen myself get hurt too many times, and I've seen you get hurt too, and that breaks my heart. I don't want her to hurt you, and I don't want to get hurt, but one of us is gonna inevitably end up that way. Life is full of pain. I just don't want you or me to be the ones who always have to deal with it. Something needs to be done, I wanna find a way to make both of us happy, and I don't know what that is. I'm open to suggestions. I love you baby.

H: I miss you so freaking much it's not even funny, English totally sucked without you (Mr. Sheehan was back, but I had to work with Zach and Chris because Keith was with Adrienne), and I was so so sad. I love my Hi Hi!!! I can't wait until you get back, hope you're doing better babe.

Z: Ugh it's starting to disgust me, thank God I have you to work with in English or else I'd probably be crying...

C: I'm like, dying to go to UNH now, I'm so excited, it's gonna be sucha fun day (with the exception of Rebecca).

L: You're falling for him aren't you, I don't care if you are, but tell me if you are. Please stop hurting darling, and please don't keep this from me, just tell me so I can help.
Last edited by WickedWitchElphie on Tue Oct 28, 2003 9:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
<center>Image

I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
*I :heart: KP*
</center>

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lore
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Post by lore » Thu Oct 02, 2003 7:53 pm

h - honey i love you more than there are words for, please come home soon... the way things are going i think i'll end up coming to you first...

j - no. see, that's why we don't read this thread, it just gets people confused...not that i don't read it anyway...but no.

z - hellooooo? brain = not working. can't handle intelligence now.

parents, illi and school staff: are you fucking BLIND? i'm sitting here fucking bleeding in english and you don't notice? i need HELP

k - i'm sorry, i hurt you again...when will you realize helping me isnt worth it?

to no one in particular: why don't i?
somewhere, over the rainbow way up high
there's a land that i heard of once in a lullaby
somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue
and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
someday i'll wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me...
somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly
birds fly over the rainbow-
why, then oh why can't i?
0 days SI free

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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Thu Oct 02, 2003 11:44 pm

L: Amen, you know everyone reads it anyway. I'm sorry I'm overprotective and jump to conclusions.

K: Hold me? Cuddle? Please? Double please?
<center>Image

I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
*I :heart: KP*
</center>

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Scarlett
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Post by Scarlett » Fri Oct 03, 2003 5:40 am

Joe- dammit don't come in here and use my computer and print in color and leave it with no paper. You can't even remember my fucking name and I don't even like you.
We glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope
Romans 5:3-4

I act like shit don't faze me / Inside it drives me crazy / My insecurities could eat me alive
-Eminem

You can't fight the tears that ain't coming... / yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive
-"Iris", Goo Goo Dolls

HUGS DO NOTHING FOR ME. I do appreciate support.

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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Fri Oct 03, 2003 7:43 pm

K: Touch me, trust me...sound familiar? Just trust me, I haven't even posted here what you said, nor told anyone, and I don't plan to. I love you, it's you emotion and you trusted me with it. I won't tell. I promise. I need to see you tonight, or else I'll probably die. Seriously. I have control here. And I wanna end it all.

H: Miss you. More than anything.

KJ: Please stop pretending you get me. You don't.

C: I just didn't want you to fight with him.
<center>Image

I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
*I :heart: KP*
</center>

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bexy
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Post by bexy » Sat Oct 04, 2003 1:33 am

1. I can't take back all the things that I have or havent done these last two years. I know I've hurt you and I dont mean to. But you can't ever take back the look I saw in your eyes when you saw what Id done to my arm, you can never take away the disappointment I saw. Why can't we forget the past few years and go back to how it used to be? Remember when we used to laugh?

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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Sat Oct 04, 2003 3:45 pm

K: Thank you so much, you have no idea what you did for me last night, you have no idea how much better off I'd be if I could always have that...I wish you would, I love you so so so much. Please realize this, please realize I adore you.

A: Thanks so much hun, I love you so much, you and K saved me last night, and you are so incredibly awesome.

L: I miss you, I really do, I want you to be safe.
<center>Image

I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
*I :heart: KP*
</center>

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jacidsky
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Post by jacidsky » Sat Oct 04, 2003 4:58 pm

M- I know that you are trying to help but you cant run my life. Stop pushing me i dont need it. If you all of a sudden know about my problems and want to help then dont make me feel so stupid when i have my episodes.

K- God i hate you so much of the time, everything about you makes me sik, if it wasnt for you i wouldnt be as bad as i am. Since i was young, since you came along youve caused me so much misery and i hated you then, even when i was 7 i hated you so much i wanted you dead so me and mum could be alone. You hurt me physically but it was the mental abuse that hurts the most. And now you are still at it... you want us to try and get along now and i am but you think of no one but yourself. You are a fukin pig and i just cant get away from your noise. Youve kiked me out of my home and i dont care. Mum was right... if you werent here i would come home. At this very moment i hate you so much. I cant breathe when you are around, everything about you disgusts me.

D- I love you so much and i think you are trying but all i want is to be your daughter, i want to feel like your daughter, ive seen the way you are with T and i want that, i want to feel part of your family but i dont. Non of this is your fault, i just want you to be there for me.

R- dont try and hold me. you hold me tightly and i break. i dont want this from you. i love you so much but you just want too much from me and its killin me, i need my own space, my ownlife, my own friends. i just dont know what i want anymore

O- I love you

N- Dont pressure me, we are friends and that is it. We are no longer the same people are we? We have both changed, i like talking to you, i like being with you but you try to pressure something from me that isnt there anymore.

D+C- Just shut the fuk up.

T- you are my life, i love you so much and i hope and pray everysingle day that you know this.I would give the world for your happiness

Family- i am part of this family too. I dont know if you have noticed me but i wouldnt mind to be treated the same as everyone else in his family.
It hurts so much to be left out of everything and ignored. Im sorry i havent suffered like the rest of you.

D+N- I miss you so much, i see you in my dreams... until we meet again
Get Real they tell me
If only they new how real this life really gets

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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Sun Oct 05, 2003 1:52 pm

Red Sox: YAY!!! WE'RE STILL IN THIS THING!!! I LOVE YOU YOU'RE ALL SO FREAKIN' HOT!!!

K: I thought too much yesterday. I thought waaaaay too much. Mostly about you. Mostly about what we'll never have. What I realized is that my heart is getting used to pain. So anything you do hurts, but I can't bring myself to cry, because the pain has become bearable physically, but mentally I just want to sob, but my body won't let me. I'm basically trying to say that you shouldn't blame yourself for anything I do anymore. Because you don't hurt me anymore. I am too numb to be hurt by you.

H: I miss you baby, sooo much. I hope you're okay, I want you to be okay, because I love you and couldn't live if anything ever happened to you. You are one of my closest and best friends and you have done so much for me, I love you.

L: I know we haven't talked since Friday, but I feel really really bad. I just wanted to know what was going on, because I worry about you and I care about you. I wish you lived closer, because it would be so much easier to help you if you did, then you could come over and hang out and all that, and that would be so awesome. I really love you baby, and if anything ever happened to you us Mansfield kids would go crazy. All of us. Because we love you sooooooo much.

C: You need to stop. Right now. I told you BOTH to stop talking because I was sitting between you, and you take it that I only told you to stop. I'm fair. I haven't been very bias except in the fact that a lot of K's advice is good and I listen to it. You're gonna have to get used to the fact that I like him, and we're friends too. I know you and him don't get along well, but you both have to get over that, because I love you both. I love him in a different way and that sometimes makes me vulnerable to things he does, but I try not to, but when I do, just tell me that I'm doing it. I don't mean to hurt you, but I'm not apologizing for something I didn't do. I'm sick of apologizing to you for things I don't do.

A: I'm sorry that your mommy was triggering you yesterday. I missed you!!! I wish me and you and K could've hung out yesterday too, that was so fun, and you guys make me so happy. I love you darling, you're so awesome, and you can sit on me anytime!!!

AH: Please. I don't think you know how I feel about K, but the truth is, I love him. So much. I would die for him if it ever came to that. And I'm just sitting here, watching you play with him, you let him hug you and warm your hands, but you won't go out with him. I don't want that to happen, but it would be easier if I knew that you were in an honest relationship with him. It would make him happy. I wish I could make him happy, but now only you can. Either get back together with M or get out of K's life, because the only thing this does is depress him, which depresses me. And I know I sound selfish but I don't really care, this is a plea for my sanity, I have to say this now.

KJ: You don't know. You really don't know what's happened. You can't blame him because I do it to myself. Let me love him in peace. Let me bleed in peace. Let me die knowing that you weren't angry with me.

Z: Stop telling me to get over it. It makes me feel worse. And why do you feel the need to always touch me or blow in my ear or any of that? You're GAY!!! I know you don't want me, but you play with me and I'm not gonna take it. That's what happened when I liked you. Not now.

D: I'm confused...I wanna talk to you but I don't wanna make you feel bad, I don't know, I think I could be falling for you, but I could just be displacing my feelings like I did on Valentine's Day, and we didn't work last time, so how could we work now? I don't get it, you're just so nice and caring and understanding and you don't try to be all these things while lusting after another girl. Very different from K, yet kind of similar, and that could be why I feel this way. I don't know, I'll keep it in, and I'll see what happens...
<center>Image

I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
*I :heart: KP*
</center>

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lore
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Post by lore » Sun Oct 05, 2003 5:31 pm

you don't understand, do you? i'm still invisible. i need help. i'm too afraid to ask for it. i can't even put my emotions into song anymore, never mind words. and i'm ignoring my chemistry homework because i can't be bothered. i'm just going to continue failing.
somewhere, over the rainbow way up high
there's a land that i heard of once in a lullaby
somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue
and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
someday i'll wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me...
somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly
birds fly over the rainbow-
why, then oh why can't i?
0 days SI free

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lore
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Post by lore » Sun Oct 05, 2003 10:28 pm

1: you don't love me. i wish you did, i care about you more than i should. i wish someone would care about me...i'll be single forever won't i?
2: please don't be so worried about me. i'm fine. well, i'm not. but i can say that, can't i?
3: I. AM. NOT. OKAY.
somewhere, over the rainbow way up high
there's a land that i heard of once in a lullaby
somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue
and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
someday i'll wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me...
somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly
birds fly over the rainbow-
why, then oh why can't i?
0 days SI free

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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Sun Oct 05, 2003 10:34 pm

K: I LOVE YOU. Do you get it? Please just tell me you comprehend and don't care. Because I feel like you're stupid and you just don't get it. I can't help but want you more than I want to. It's true. Te amo, usted es my estrella brilliante, nada mas compara. Snuggle with me please. Hold me. Please.

Anyone: HELP ME PLEASE I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THIS, I NEED TO GET A SHOVE IN ANOTHER DIRECTION OR HE NEEDS A SHOVE TOWARDS ME, PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
<center>Image

I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
*I :heart: KP*
</center>

User avatar
Scarlett
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Post by Scarlett » Mon Oct 06, 2003 4:49 am

Michelle WHY are you doing this? Why Why Why are you making her life miserable? Why Why Why HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLPPPPPP
We glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope
Romans 5:3-4

I act like shit don't faze me / Inside it drives me crazy / My insecurities could eat me alive
-Eminem

You can't fight the tears that ain't coming... / yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive
-"Iris", Goo Goo Dolls

HUGS DO NOTHING FOR ME. I do appreciate support.

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vollenda
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Post by vollenda » Mon Oct 06, 2003 7:58 pm

M-I can't tell you how disappointed I am that you don't get it. That you keep using me even though you say you don't want to hurt me. I am not strong enough to let you go now and I need you to leave me alone. I can't be your shoulder to cry on if you can't even talk to me when I am lonely and hurting. Why do you expect me to be there for you but you can't return the favor. You are not the only one hurting in this world. Other people have problems and are still able to be there for there friends. Get over yourself. Grow up. Damn it! Be a friend, the friend you told me you were.
***************************************
Lie here and rest your head
And dream of something else instead
~Dido~

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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Mon Oct 06, 2003 9:20 pm

*Snuggles...snuggles sooooooo close to you and holds you tight and never lets go because she's afraid if she lets go you'll leave because you always do, in the end*
<center>Image

I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
*I :heart: KP*
</center>

User avatar
lore
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Post by lore » Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:23 pm

you don't know how i feel. you say you love me, dear, but what do you mean? i'm so confused. like what you said today...it really touched me. but how did you mean it? oh, i know we're only good friends...but why must i be so miserable? and why must you be so far away?

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: there is nothing to express how i feel.
somewhere, over the rainbow way up high
there's a land that i heard of once in a lullaby
somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue
and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
someday i'll wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me...
somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly
birds fly over the rainbow-
why, then oh why can't i?
0 days SI free

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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Tue Oct 07, 2003 7:53 pm

I want to write about you. I want to capture every little thing you've done for me and put it in my speech. I want to put my emotion for you on paper. I want to tell the world why you're my hero. I want to say, 'I don't SI anymore because my hero helped me stop. My hero made me want to be a better person.' But I don't know how you're gonna react when you find this out. I need to talk to you about it. I'm too scared and it's due Friday. I love you *holds tight*
<center>Image

I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
*I :heart: KP*
</center>

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piglet
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Post by piglet » Tue Oct 07, 2003 9:00 pm

Help me. Someone. Please. Do something.
"It is joy to be hidden, but disaster not to be found" (Winnicott)

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lore
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Post by lore » Wed Oct 08, 2003 1:47 am

yep. i definitely...yep. wrote the name in my book in history. daydreamed through algebra. agh no. can't do this to myself. can't talk to him. he doesnt love me anyway..he says he does but come on now, lore. be SERIOUS. no one ever means it that way. he says the same things to k. ::sigh:: and even if he did, when would you see him? that's right, never. so shut your mouth and jump in front of an SUV. quick, before your chemistry is due.
somewhere, over the rainbow way up high
there's a land that i heard of once in a lullaby
somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue
and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
someday i'll wish upon a star
and wake up where the clouds are far behind me
where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me...
somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly
birds fly over the rainbow-
why, then oh why can't i?
0 days SI free

User avatar
raven
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Post by raven » Wed Oct 08, 2003 4:55 am

ok. i know that you're going through a lot. i know that your dad is getting remarried in february. i know your mom ,being a single mom, puts a lot of stress on your life, and that you have to work harder than i do at the SAT's, and also english. but you're better at physics, spanish, calculus... and why the hell does it matter so damn much? i understand that your mom is single and korean, but still... you have the hope of the universe in your soul, you have so mcuh freakin joy if you would just take it... and you've hurt me so much. do you know that? of course you don't. even with all your time spent on me, the cds, the notes, the little gifts, you never asked me what was wrong. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME. you never asked me if i was ok. you never wanted to know why.

i told you that i cut myself. i told you that i was suicidal, that i was so dperessed that i could hardly move, let alone think and react and laugh, of all things. you said that you could handle your problems yourself and then you proceeded to tell me all your problems. i do care about you, but don't you care about me????? i needed comfort, support so damn much. and you weren't there. i know you had your own problems. so why did you have to make me feel guilty that iwasn't listening to you all the time?

STOP ACTING LIKE A CHILD. you've hurt me more than i could ever hurt you. how does it feel now? i'm not even trying to hurt you, and you're taking offense. i'm not perfect!! i've never been perfect. i've always needed help. but i've always gotten along without it. ok, so our research wasn't as easy as some other projects. deal with it! don't fucking take your anger out on me! i had enough crap in my life from you.

i guess i still haven't forgiven you. just tell me why. i know it's hard to talk about it. God, do i know. of corse! I'M the one who was cutting herself, remember? do you know how fucking hard it was for me to tell you? and you just blew me off. as if it didn't matter. as if you ddin't care. and even if i know tha you do, you sure don't act it.

everything i say is wrong. i know you're stressed, but whenever i try to help, you just yell at me. if i don't, you accuse me of ignoring you. what do you want me to do, solve all your problems? at least i'm trying ot listen.

you know i don't even know why the hell i still try. this friendship is so full of shit. we're not even friends, we're people who laugh together sometimes and hate each other the rest. i regret it. i really do. i regret getting to know you, i regret telling you everything. i only thank God that i did not tel you more. because you obviously don't care.

whatever. go to hell.
"life is short but sweet for certain."
^dave matthews band

"I don't understand how you manage to love a mob of birds that has just tried to kill you."
"Oh, Fletch, you don't love that! You have to practice and see the real gull, the good in every one of them, and to help them see it in themselves. That's what I mean by love."
^richard bach, jonathan livingston seagull

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