Candys Coping Thread

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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Candy
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Candys Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sat Feb 24, 2007 8:07 pm

I final took a nap which I needed really bad,and I am watching t.v, and relaxing, I feel bad,cause the anxiety was so bad last night,that I feel that I might of hurt my boy-friend's feelings, I did not mean to,I was not even my self,I told him that I was sorry,and he said do not worry about it. I never acted like that before and I know it scared him as much as it scared me. The dcotor feels that my medication is doing it,by making me more anxious and that is why she is decreasing and taking me off it,cause of making me relax and controllong my anxiety it is making the anxiety worse. I get so scared sometimes,cause I never know what will happen next,I just want to feel like my own self again,she has to take me off it slowly,cause it is Clonapazam,if I spell that right. I did some good positive things to day, I went out and visit my mother and then took a nap,cause I did not sleep good. I know that walking has helped me cope alot and deal with my anxiety,but how can I walk if we have snow and it is cold outside,what else can I do? I just wanted to check up on everyone and see how they are doing and to let you know how I am doing. If you have any suggestions for me,you are welcome to post them here or pm me if you like. I am going to watch this good movie and I will be back soon. :star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Post by angelic212 » Sat Feb 24, 2007 9:30 pm

here is some stuff that might help you:

What to Do When You're Feeling Down


by Cheryl Rainfield



Depression can be debilitating, and painful to endure. Once depressed, it is easy to keep spiraling further down. But there are many things that can help when you're feeling down, even if only a little—and a little may be all you need to shift into a better place.

Here are a few suggestions:
Pay attention to how much you're doing—the tasks you give yourself, the work you have to get done, the energy you give to others—and set aside some time that is just for yourself.


Put some uplifting essential oils on your face, chest, neck, wrists, and arms. Some uplifting essential oils are bergamot, geranium, basil, grapefruit, orange, and any other citrus essential oil.


Write about what is bothering you. Go as deep as you can. When you're finished, get rid of the paper. Mail it to someone who will listen. Burn it. Fold it up and put it somewhere else. Imagine as you do this that you are letting go of everything that was bothering you.


Get some distance from the painful emotion using this technique: Name the feeling—depression, or hopelessness, or whatever the feeling is. Picture the feeling in your mind as a word or image, and, while naming it, take a step back from it in your mind. Then do that again—name the feeling, and take another step back. You may want to visualize yourself actually stepping back from the emotion. Do this until you feel some relief from the emotion.


Connect with another person. Call up a friend, your partner. Make a plan to meet them for coffee, for lunch. Ask for a hug. Tell them about whatever is bothering you—or listen to what is bothering them. Or go for laughter and fun, whichever feels better. Sometimes just connecting with someone you care about is enough.


Go someplace different from where you are right now; physically change your environment. If you're indoors, go outdoors. If you're outdoors, go indoors. Take a walk. Go for a drive. Get yourself out. Sometimes changing your physical location can create a shift in mood.


Play some uplifting or comforting music. Let the sound envelop you. Move with the music or sing along.


Let go of some responsibility, or whatever it is that is weighing you down. Give yourself permission to not deal with it or to not think about it for the next hour, the next day, the next week. Give yourself permission to relax.


Give yourself a treat. Buy yourself something small, read that magazine you've been waiting to read, watch that show or movie that you've been wanting to watch.


Eat a food that gives you comfort, or that brings back that feeling of childhood safety.


Take a nap break. Curl up under a soft blanket, and let yourself take a break from the world.


Get a hug or a long embrace. Hugs, and good safe touch, are an important part of feeling loved and lovable, happy and healthy.


When you're in a good emotional space, make a list of things that make you feel good or happy—taking a walk through the trees, sitting near the water, taking a warm shower, playing cards with a friend, reading a good book. Then go through that list when you need to.


Find something that makes you laugh. Do you have a comedy show or movie you like? Is there a cartoon strip or joke site that makes you grin? A book that makes you laugh out loud? How about a game that can make you giggle? Laughter can bring an upsurge of happiness.


Write out positive, loving messages to yourself. Read them over many times, and try to let the messages in.


Allow yourself to let go of the hard feelings for now. You may think you have to stay in that place, or that you'd be disloyal to the part of you that feels this way. Or you may find that depression or pain is something you feel more comfortable with because you've known it for so long. You can always come back to these feelings if you need to explore them some more, or learn from them. It's healthy and healing to let these feelings fade into the background, so you can take a break from them, and find some comfort.


Ask yourself what you need. Often we have the answers right inside us.
Even if you don't think you have the energy to do any of these things, pick a few that appeal to you the most, and try them out. You may find they help you shift into a lighter mood. Even if the shift is a small one, or only lasts for a short while, it can make it that much easier to get back to that lighter place next time. And if you turn to such methods often enough, you may find they become habit—finding your way back to a place that feels good.



© Cheryl Rainfield, 2003

============================

Guide to Developing aWRAP- Wellness Recovery Action Plan
The following handout will serve as a guide to developing Wellness Recovery Action Plans. It can be used by people who are experiencing psychiatric symptoms to develop their own guide, or by health care professionals who are helping others to develop Wellness Recovery Action Plans.

This handout, or any part of this handout, may be copied for use in working with individuals or groups.

Getting Started

The following supplies will be needed to develop a Wellness Recovery Action Plan:
a three ring binder, one inch thick
a set of five dividers or tabs
a package of three ring filler paper, most people preferred lined
a writing instrument of some kind
(optional) a friend or other supporter to give you assistance and feedback

Section 1-Daily Maintenance List

On the first tab write Daily Maintenance List. Insert it in the binder followed by several sheets of filler paper.

On the first page, describe, in list form, yourself when you are feeling all right.

On the next page make a list of things you need to do for yourself every day to keep yourself feeling alright.

On the next page, make a reminder list for things you might need to do. Reading through this list daily helps keep us on track.

Section 2-Triggers

External events or circumstances that, if they happen, may produce serious symptoms that make you feel like you are getting ill. These are normal reactions to events in our lives, but if we don't respond to them and deal with them in some way, they may actually cause a worsening in our symptoms.

On the next tab write "Triggers" and put in several sheets of binder paper.

On the first page, write down those things that, if they happened, might cause an increase in your symptoms. They may have triggered or increased symptoms in the past.

On the next page, write an action plan to use if triggers come up, using the Wellness Toolbox at the end of this handout as a guide.

Section 3-Early Warning Signs

Early warning signs are internal and may be unrelated to reactions to stressful situations. In spite of our best efforts at reducing symptoms, we may begin to experience early warning signs, subtle signs of change that indicate we may need to take some further action.

On the next tab write "Early Warning Signs". On the first page of this section, make a list of early warning signs you have noticed.

On the next page, write an action plan to use if early warning signs come up, using the Wellness Toolbox at the end of this handout as a guide.

Section 4-Things are Breaking Down or Getting Worse

In spite of our best efforts, our symptoms may progress to the point where they are very uncomfortable, serious and even dangerous, but we are still able to take some action on our own behalf. This is a very important time. It is necessary to take immediate action to prevent a crisis.

On the next tab write, "When Things are Breaking Down". Then make a list of the symptoms which, for you, mean that things have worsened and are close to the crisis stage.

On the next page, write an action plan to use "When Things are Breaking Down" using the Wellness Toolbox at the end of this handout as a guide.

Section 5-Crisis Planning

In spite of our best planning and assertive action, we may find ourselves in a crisis situation where others will need to take over responsibility for our care. We may feel like we are totally out of control.

Writing a crisis plan when you are well to instruct others about how to care for you when you are not well, keeps you in control even when it seems like things are out of control. Others will know what to do, saving everyone time and frustration, while insuring that your needs will be met. Develop this plan slowly when you are feeling well. The crisis planning form includes space to write:

those symptoms that would indicate to others they need to take action in your behalf
who you would want to take this action
medications you are currently taking, those that might help in a crisis, and those that should be avoided
treatments that you prefer and those that should be avoided
a workable plan for at home care
acceptable and unacceptable treatment facilities
actions that others can take that would be helpful
actions that should be avoided
instructions on when the plan no longer needs to be used
============================

Positive Mind/Body Affirmations

I handle stress and tension appropriately and effectively.

My mood is calm and relaxed.

I can cope well and get on with my life during times of stress.

I think thoughts that uplift and nurture me.
I enjoy thinking positive thoughts that make me feel good about myself and my life.
I deserve to feel good right now.
I feel peaceful and calm.
My breathing is slow and calm.
My muscles are relaxed and comfortable.
I feel grounded and fully present.
I can effectively handle any situation that comes my way.
I think through the solutions to my emotional issues slowly and peacefully.
I am thankful for all the positive things in my life.
I practice the relaxation methods that I enjoy.
My body is healthy and strong.
I eat a well balanced and nutritious diet.
I enjoy eating delicious and healthful food.
My body wants food that is easy to digest and high in vitamins and minerals.
I do regular exercise in a relaxed and enjoyable manner.
Self-Esteem Affirmations

I am filled with energy, vitality, and self-confidence.
I am pleased with how I handle my emotional needs.
I know exactly how to manage my daily schedule to promote my emotional and physical well-being.
I listen to my body's needs and regulate my activity level to take care of those needs.
I love and honor my body.
I fill my mind with positive and self-nourishing thoughts.
I am a wonderful and worthy person.
I deserve health, vitality, and peace of mind.
I have total confidence in my ability to heal myself.
I feel radiant with abundant energy and vitality.
The world around me is full of radiant beauty and abundance.
I am attracted only to those people and situations that support and nurture me.
I appreciate the positive people and situations that are currently in my life.
I love and honor myself.
I enjoy my positive thoughts and feelings


what you can do with affirmations is write affirmations on index cards or pieces of paper and decorate them in a creative way and take them with you. you can pick three cards with you for the day and when you hear those negative voices saying bad stuff to you , you take out the cards and read the affirmation either outloud or to your self . practice affirmations daily. you may not believe them at first , but if you practice using affirmations to have a positive mind and thoughts you will soon start to believe them .

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Candys Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sat Feb 24, 2007 9:41 pm

I just got your information and I am printing it off,thanks alot,it will be very helpful to me,what kind of coping folder do you use? I regular folder or a three ring note book where you have to punch holes in them? I was just wondering. I hate the fact that the medication is doing this to me,it is not totally mind fault,I know that I had slip with SI,but the medication is making me more anxious,and this is not the way I am. What can I do when the medication is doing the opposite of what is suppose to do,instead of keeping me calm,it is doing the opposite. I know that I keep repeating myself,and I am sorry for that.I am glad that you and everyone is here for me,cause there are people that I know that do not understand what I am going through. I am watching t.v and going to try very hard to get my mind off of everything,and not let anyone bother with me,with want they say,I need the anxiety to get worse like it was yesterday. I just want to feel better and I am trying very hard to get back on track and it is not easy for me, I just know that I am doing the best I can do and that is all I can do for myself. I just want to say thanks for the information and I am glad to be on the bus,it has helped me alot. I hope everyone is doing ok and I will be back on later. :star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candys Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sat Feb 24, 2007 11:09 pm

I feel better today,my anxiety level is not so bad,and I am feeling calm today. I am proud of the fact that I did not do any SI.I had dinner and I am watching t.v. I feel alot better than I did last night,that is why I do take it slowly,cause that is the best way I can deal with everything and it is alot easier for me. I know that I still have homework that my case-manager gave me,I still have not done it,he wants me to write a letter to my illness as a person,just to get my feelings out of me about it,if I will get it down by tomorrow,cause he does not come here till tuesday morning.Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder is not easy,cause one thing that I have to learn to cope with is how to regulate my emotions and thoughts,besides other things that I have to do,and I am finding out that is what I need to work on first,cause the more anxious I am,that is when SI picks up.If anyone has that illness,you are welcome to post here as well,to give and receive support,that is if you want to,cause I am trying very hard to be more in control of myself and behavior,and some days are easier than others. I am doing good,even though I did not do anythings out of my coping box today or write in my journal,it is cause I feel so exhausted from last night that I need a break,but I will do it. I just hope that everyone is doing ok and I will be back on later. I am hanging in there and enjoying the sun shine outside,even though it is cold out. Be back soon
Candy :star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sun Feb 25, 2007 2:31 am

I am doing alot better today and the anxiety is down. I am watching t.v and there are some good movies on lifetime tonight,and I took my medications,which helped me alot. I did not write in my journal tonight,but if I feel like it later I will,if not I will write in it tomorrow.I am going to put the rubber band back on wrist,which is one of my coping skills. It will also help me. I am just know what to do,if the feelings of anxiety gets like that,cause that is what leads me up to do SI,and I am trying to stop,I slip enough already and I do not need to keep hurting myself like that, I know that is not going to be easy for me,but I am going to try my hardest. I am going to have to take it one minute at a time and do my best to get control, I know that it is not going to be easy for me,cause there are going to be times when I feel the urge to do SI,and there might be times when it does happen,but I am going to try my hardest,that is all that I can do. I hope everyone is doing ok and I know that I will have some bad days and I need to keep trying.I know that if I do slip,to pick myself back up and try again. I am planning on doing things tomorrow that are positive for myself,that I wanted to get done today,but I was to tired and was not feeling up to it. If anyone has any suggestions that might help,please feel free to post here. I am going to relax and I will be back on the board later on. It is not easy for me,cause the urge will be there and it is sooo hard,to control it. Be back later. :star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Post by angelic212 » Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:24 am

hi candy sorry to hear that you are struggling with anxiety,
i also struggle with major anxiety and i know whats it like to struggle with anxiety and the urges to SI;

here are some things that i have discovered that helps me cope with my anxiety maybe they will help you

:star: what helps me with my anxiety is to draw with oil pastels or do any kind of art work, and just concentrate on my art work,

:star:
another thing that helps me with my anxiety is to hug my stuffed animal that my niece gave me for my bday, its almost as big as a pillow

:star: drinking chamomile tea

:star: watching disney movies also helps me out with my anxiety.


i hope that you are doing okay righrt now ,

feel free to pm me when ever you need to,

oh another thing that helps me is playing computer games. and coloring in coloring books,

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Post by angelic212 » Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:26 am

check out this link , its a big list of coping alternatives , some might help you ,

http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=34500&start=0

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:31 am

I know the pictures you did were great. I have some more ideals that will help me cope. I like playing checkers,and games on the computer as well. I am feeling better now,but still have trouble with anxiety.Thanks for the ideals,I pm you a little while ago and I hope you got my letter. I am watching t.v and going to relax for the night.Tomorrow I will be doing somethings that are positive and to help me get my mind off of things. I am going to be on the bus later.Again thanks :star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sun Feb 25, 2007 3:33 am

I will check that coping web site later,thanks for giving it to me. Thank-you very much :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sun Feb 25, 2007 6:41 am

I am doing pretty good and I feel very relax tonight,and I will be going to bed real soon,I already took my medicaton and tomorrow I am goind to do things that are positive for me
:star: write in my journal
:star: do my homework that my therapist wants me to do
:star: color some pictures
that will help me to keep my mind busy and keep me focus,and make sure I take my medicaton. I am getting tired and I will be back on the bus tomorrow. Everyone have a good night. I am going to get a good night sleep. take care!!!! :star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sun Feb 25, 2007 5:30 pm

I am doing better still,feel kind of tired out,from all that anxiety that I have been having. I finally got two positive things done today
1) I did not homework that my case-manager wanted me to do :blueheart:
2) I wrote in my journal :heart:
So far I am doing positive things for myself which is not been easy for me to do. I had a good night sleep and I feel good this morning,but just worn out. I do not know why,but I feel guilty for doing SI still and I am having trouble forgiving myself. I am going to clean my apartment a little and do things that I enjoy doing.The sun is out,so that helps me alot,cause it makes me feel better,then having it rain. I just wanted to stop by and tell everyone how I am doing,cause the past two days,it was not easy for me and I am trying to get back on track,and I know that will take sometime. When I look at what I did after the SI and see it, I feel so bad inside,cause I have been doing so good. I know that I should forgive myself for what I did,but it is not always easy for me,no wonder my self-esteem is so low. I am going to enjoy the day,no matter what. I am taking care of myself. I will be back on later. :magheart:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Post by plantt » Sun Feb 25, 2007 6:46 pm

good morning :1cat:
hope the day goes well for you :star:

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Sun Feb 25, 2007 9:27 pm

Thanks, for that message.
I took a nap,cause I was so tired and I am watching a movie on lifetime,can not remember the name of the movie. Why are parents soo controlling? I am going to be moving and of course I do not know when that will be,cause they are remodeling the apartments here,so I do not know when that will be,but she buying these for my new apartment before asking me,I live on my own and I am 41 years old,and I should be able to stand up to her,but not feeling good mentally right now,it has been hard for me,cause my anxiety medications they got me on,is doing the opposite on,instead of making me calm it is making me more anxious,at this point I am calm and have not have a panic attack for two days,but I am afraid that if I say something to her now,she will start to get verbally abuisve with me and I do not need that right now,with the way I have been feeling,and the slips up with SI. I am soo angry with her and I hate when she does this,maybe she is trying to be nice,but she should ask me before she does this or have me go with her, I do not have any ideal when I am going to move,and yes,when I do move,I will continue to be on the bus.I do not need to get upset and that is why I am writing here. Any suggestions will be helpful. I am doing pretty good at this point,but just talking to her,gets to me.I do not understand why she will not let me live my own life and why she treats me this way,she always been verbally abusive to me and I hate it!!!!!!!!!!!! I told her how I felt,but she does not listen to me,the way she treats me. Well I am going out for dinner with my boy-friend and do something positve for myself,sorry for going on like this I just needed to vent right now. I am hanging in there. I will be back on the bus later. :star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Post by plantt » Sun Feb 25, 2007 11:09 pm

hope dinner is good :) where are you going?
sorry you're having problems.... i'm guessing the "her" is your mother? that sucks :(

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Mon Feb 26, 2007 1:49 am

My anxiety level is up right now and my chest is feeling tight, I am trying to relax,but it is not easy for me. My boy-friend and I went to Sunny's for dinner,we had a great time and then we went to Walmart,I got a three ring notebook,for my coping skills that I copied off here and got some stickers,I am going to put the three ring notebook,it even fits,it is 1 1/2 inchs,I was suprise that it fited,but the box is pretty big that my mother got me,the lid comes off pretty good,it is not a shoebox,it is a plastic container that she gave me. yes,that was my mother that I was talking about earlier. I am going to relax tonight and get rid of the anxiety. I feel alot better when he is here,but I know that he has to go home,due to the weather,it is snowing here. I hope evveryone is doing good. I hate this feeling and being here has helped alot. I just want the tighting to go away,but I know that it is due to anxiety and tension. I have to go to program tomorrow,but if this weather keeps up,they might close my day treatment program,I will not know till the morning. I am going to watch t.v for awhile and relax. I will be on the bus later. I am going to take care of myself. Be back soon :star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Mon Feb 26, 2007 4:39 am

I finally calm down tonight,I was playing a game on it was checkers,of course I did not win,but I had a great time playing and so did my boy-friend,we both laughed. He finally went home and I am just watching a movie on Lifetime and I will be going to bed soon, I have to take my medications first. I have program tomorrow if they are open,due to the weather here,so if I go to program,I will be on the bus in the evening time. I have not done any SI,today and I feel good about that,even though it was not easy for me,when I get anxious and I can not relax,that is a scary feeling. I hope everyone is doing great tonight and I will be on the bus before I go to bed.It is hard not to do any SI,but I am trying very hard. I will be back soon
:star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:20 am

I just want to say good night to everyone,still watching this movie and I will be going to bed. I will be back on the bus tomorrow evening and I am doing ok,if my day treatment is closed,I will be on it earlier. I am doing pretty good,even though I am having thoughts of SI,I am trying my hardest not to do anything. I will get a good night sleep,which I need right now.Be back on the bus tomorrow. :star:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Post by angelic212 » Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:26 am

hi candy :

just dropping by to see how you are doing.

im glad that you managed to calm down

im watching a movie but im printing some stuff to make a coping folder, i think i will use a 3 ring binder, and on tuesday when i ggo shopping with my friend to the mall i will by the 3 ring binder. and some stickers and stuff to decorate,

i have to go to work tomorrow in the morning and i have therapy.
so i dont think i will be on bus in the morning , i will be on bus in the evening and night.

i hope that you have a better day tomorrow.

feel free to pm me or email me . i will try to log on to yahoo so we can chat tomorrow hopefully.

this is angelic212 i changed my name to pink212

hope that you have a good night sleep :star:

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Location: New York

Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:33 am

I hope you have a great night too,and I will talk to you tomorrow. Everyone have a great night. It was not easy to stay calm,but I did it.Thanks for your post. take care everyone. Have a great night,I will be just fine. :bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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Candy
orange smartie
orange smartie
Posts: 1802
Joined: Sat Apr 29, 2006 4:37 pm
Gender: female
Location: New York

Candy's Coping Thread

Post by Candy » Mon Feb 26, 2007 5:58 am

Just trying to get myself to go to bed,cause I need the rest right now.
I am finally did some positive things for myself today and I am proud of myself. Still feeling anxious a little bit and eventually I am going to get tired and go to bed,but I rather post here then do SI,that is a positive thing as well. When I wrote that letter to my illness I got a lot of angry out and it made me feel better inside. I am glad that I did that. My case-manager wanted me to do it,and it helped me to feel better about myself. Have a great night and I will be back on the bus tomorrow evening.
:bcatsmile:
I am in a dark place like a turtle afraid to deal with the pain that I do not want to feel,but eventually I will slowly face my pain,like the turtle when he comes out of his shell.

To find yourself,think of yourself first.

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