Not a superhero, but I'm... her hero...

[Sky]

A friend recently told me that she looks up to me a lot, and that she has a lot of respect for me... Well, that really got me thinking about the people I care about, and I fould out that there are many more of them that see me the same way. One of my reasons to stop cutting is them, because I think that a few of my friends finding out that I cut made them want to try it too, and several of the people closest to me have started to cut now.

I cannot help them with thier problems if I cannot help myself with mine, and I don't want them to think I'm being hypocritical by trying to tell them that what they are doing is dangerous and addictive when I do it myself. They all see me as so strong, when I am really only human and have the same weaknesses. The thing that I can't stand though, is that if I can't fight for them, and they can't fight for themselves yet, what will happen? I don't think I can forgive myself for causing the people that I care about to stumble... and I have to be strong for them. One of the weirdest things too, my youth pastor said to me earlier (without knowing any of this) that I would make a good counselor, and that I could be a hero to some of the other hurting people...

This all comes down to a cutter needing to stop... for the people she cares about. I would be devastated if anything happened to my best friend Jessie... she means the world to me. But to know that she killed herself because of my influence... I would not be able to live with myself... Does anyone have any suggestions for quitting?

(sorry this got long and boring)

[nirvana]

I cannot help them with thier problems if I cannot help myself with mine, and I don't want them to think I'm being hypocritical by trying to tell them that what they are doing is dangerous and addictive when I do it myself.

well, you're off to a good start, because you at least realize what you need to do. i understand the feeling to not want to sound hypocritical, but you're really trying to save them. it's sometimes easier to focus on someone else's problems instead of your own, when you really should be listening to your own advice. but i do the same thing, and try and convince my friends to stop, even though i can't stop myself.

Does anyone have any suggestions for quitting?

try and find an alternative for si that gives you the same release. excercise, writing, painting... if you can't find something that you like for a while, don't worry, it can take time. but until then, try and distract yourself as much as possible whenever you're feeling the urge to cut. if you're feeling triggered, stop and ask yourself why you feel you need to cut, and how it would solve anything. (look at 151 things to do before you si thread).

good luck, feel free to pm me any time.
love, tara.

[greeneyes92]

yay