Why you won't SI

Post by **splitimage** » Tue Sep 02, 2003 4:56 pm

I'm wearing a new silk dress and I don't want to get blood on it.

I'll be more pissed off if I do it than if I don't and continue to feel like shit.

I wan't to convince my pdoc next week that I don't need more drugs and that will be harder to do if I have Si'd.

I'm too old for this shit. Really.

It's been almost a year and I don't want to fuck that up.

It's stupid to get so upset over something that's not REALLY personal.

--splitimage

Scarlett · Post by **Scarlett** » Fri Sep 26, 2003 11:56 pm

I don't want my sister to think it's a good idea

I don't want to hurt people I love.

I promised Lucy.

It's my choice and I'm making it like this.

Inwë Lessien · Post by **Inwë Lessien** » Sun Sep 28, 2003 1:03 am

my Elros

because I want to win...not the SI...

because I don't want to hurt my Liss, Laura-lai, Deskana, or Anna

plantt · Post by **plantt** » Sun Sep 28, 2003 7:44 pm

because i don't want to be in skills group again

because i want to get rid of it so if i do choose to start si again it will be fully a choice

because it hurts t & a

because as unlikely as it is... i don't want to ever make anyone feel they want/need to try it

*Carly* · Post by ***Carly*** » Sun Sep 28, 2003 9:22 pm

Because I dont want anymore scars

Because all my friends online want me to stop and I want to prove I can

Because if I ever get to meet will young I dont want him to think I am a freak

WickedWitchElphie · Post by **WickedWitchElphie** » Mon Sep 29, 2003 8:36 pm

Because I'm sick of hurting everyone
Because I want people who SI to be able to come to me for advice
Because I promised *him*
Because I can't wear short sleeves when I do it
Because I don't wanna trigger anyone
Because I'm at two days
Because I need to live to make sure everyone else does

Lipsi · Post by **Lipsi** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 4:00 pm

- because i dont wanna be dependant
- because i'm hurting the people who love me
- because i'm not being honest
- because it's taking over my life
- because i want to like myself again (altho my si is only a product of why i dont like myself i thought id throw it in there)
- because i dont wanna be a hypocrite

Bo · Post by Bo » Mon Oct 13, 2003 3:56 am

because my friend will tell my dad
because i dont want to hurt my friends or my dad
because once i start it will be harder to stop
because i will have to hide them
because i gone nearly two months

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 9:05 pm

I know I've posted on this thread before, but I've got some more reasons now. My old list:

Laura wrote: SI is messy
I spend a fortune on first aid stuff
I don't want to be in hospital
I want my GP to be proud of me
I want to feel better permanently
Healthcare workers treat your depression worse if you SI
Sometimes SI doesn't even help

My new list:

God doesn't want me to

I don't want to let down the people who have helped me

I can't face another hospital stay

First aid stuff costs a fortune

Itchy scars are really annoying

I want to be able to go swimming

I don't want to lose my "number of days free" badges

I don't want to be reminded of my worst times every time I look at myself

I want to be able to say I've stopped

Lying to people about scars and injuries makes me feel guilty

Self harm won't help in the long term

Self harm is messy

Looking after injuries is time-consuming

I want to be treated properly, not dismissed as "a self-harmer"

The risk of permanent disability scares me

One day I'd like to go out wearing a Tshirt

Having to show injuries to doctors makes me feel so ashamed

One day I'd like to be free of the mental health care system

I hate the fact that I depend on carrying things to injure with around all the time.

Laura

theodore · Post by **theodore** » Sun Jun 13, 2004 9:15 pm

i can't stand the comments and looks

i want to be able to wear short sleeves

i want to buy that top and not just feel sexy, but look sexy

i want to be loved unconditionally by my rents

i want to be a good daughter

i want to be cool in the summer

i don't want to wear a big thick black jumper all the time

i ant to be able to face myself in the mirror

i want to be able to move my arm freely without pain or discomfort

i want to be able to play with my children and pick them up wihtout cringing with pain

i don't want to be considered 'different' in a bad way

i don't want to go to hospital again

gosh that's an awful long list

Bridget0688 · Post by **Bridget0688** » Mon Jun 14, 2004 12:20 am

Reasons why I don't want to SI:
I like being allowed to sleep in my room.
I don't want to disappoint my mom.
I don't want to break the promise I've made to so many people even though I shouldn't have had to make it.
I don't want to prove everybody that thinks I can't overcome this right.
I don't want to worry about covering the cuts.
I don't want to have to come up with new places to cut myself.
I want to be able to heal.
I want my sanity back.

Boris · Post by **Boris** » Mon Jun 14, 2004 6:19 pm

well...i consider myself stopped with slips, because now i do it...maybe monthly...rather than many times a day. but, why not to do it EVER:

because i hate it when people feel like they have to sneak around my back to keep me safe (ie friends removing my scissors from my locker)

because i hate it when my sister, who's younger than i am, is in charge of my safety

because i promised maggie, and megan, and katie, and my mom, and a bunch of other people, that i wouldn't

because clare is convinced that god will hate me if i'm able to stop but don't. even though i'm not religious, that still freaks me out

because i think that me staying stopped might be one of the biggest factors in my friend not SIing...she promised me that she's not going to hurt herself when she moves away, as long as i stay stopped too. and i dont want her starting again. she deserves better than that

people tell me that i deserve better than that too, and maybe they're actually serious

because when i SI, my sister refuses to eat

because i DON'T want to go to the psych hospital next week. I DON'T I DON'T I DON'T I WONT!

because i don't want more people to find out.

because i can't afford first aid supplies anymore

because i sure as hell won't be able to afford it in university

because i want to be finished with therapy before i go to university, so i don't have to worry if i chose to study out of town

because i want to be able to wear whatever costumes i want

because i want to be able to lend my friend my armband (she loves it and wants to borrow it, and i feel so bad refusing!)

because i hate lying...but i hate the truth...and running away gets awkward.

there's moer...but i'm being called for lunch.

roseblum15 · Post by **roseblum15** » Mon Jun 14, 2004 8:24 pm

Reasons that I won't SI...

I don't want the scars
I want my friends to not worry about me
I don't want to lie to my friends anymore
I want people to be able to trust me
I want to be HAPPY!

XclippedXwingsX · Post by **XclippedXwingsX** » Wed Jul 14, 2004 7:11 pm

Reasons I Won't... welll Try not to Si

~ Not everything's my fault
~ My friends care deeply about me
~ My boyfriend loves me
~ I don't deserve to hurt myself.
~ I'm worth something
~ I'm learning to love myself
~ I believe i'm beautiful on the inside and out
~ I hate hiding myself from others
~ I hate hiding my scars
~ I don't deserve pain

~Charm

depressedgrl666 · Post by **depressedgrl666** » Thu Jul 15, 2004 1:42 pm

~ i don't want anymore scars
~i want to find a coping mechanism with a feeling of releif that last long term
~i want to be able to look my mom in the eyes and tell her that i have stopped for real
~i want to grow up to be an actress
~i don't want to worry about what to wear to cover me up
~i don't want to be scared of swimming or getting changed
~i want to be able to honestly say to my new t that i don't cut anymore
~lying is no fun!
~i want to stop hurting everyone around me
~i want control again
there are alot more reasons but i just cant think of anyright now......... the pain overcomes the reasons not to......
~lauren
queen of darkness

Wandering · Post by **Wandering** » Mon Jul 19, 2004 11:46 pm

I noticed I'd posted some reasons last year, before I managed to stop (?) SI. They were:

- Because it hurts the morning after (yes and thats a reason I do it too)
- Because what right have I to treat my body this way
- Because I don't want future people ie at college/work to wonder why I have scars
- Because I've come too close to getting caught, and it would be awful to have to explain myself to my parents, who have no idea anything's wrong

And now, along with them, there's also:
- I don't want to hurt my lovely youth leader, who's been such a good friend to me
- I don't want to be depressed. I don't want to end up on meds. If I keep SI its not gonna help my state of mind.
- It feels wrong hurting the body which God gave me
- It feels really good not to worry about people seeing my arms.
- It scares me that I will cut deeper if I carry on.
- I want to help other people who SI. If I'm still SI, I won't be able to prove its possible to stop.

That's not to say I'll never SI again. That's just why I'm trying not to

Laura · Post by **Laura** » Sat Feb 26, 2005 7:28 pm

OK I know I am terminally geeky

but I made this graph of how many people here chose what type of reason. Might interest any fellow geeks out there

and I'm amazed that "It doesn't really help" comes so low down, given that this is what CBT therapists usually focus on.

Laura

<p align="center">
<a href="http://uk.geocities.com/floor_sitter/whynot.html"><img src="http://uk.geocities.com/floor_sitter/im ... g"></a></p>
It's based on 50 people's answers.

VowsOfSadness · Post by **VowsOfSadness** » Sat Feb 26, 2005 9:04 pm

if i'm going to SI why not have a decent reason, then agian what is a decent reason? I have a calendar and if I don't at the end of the day I get a sticker (this may sound stupid) but I really look forward to the sticker, every week and a half if I have gone completely without it I buy myself A my little pony

xanemicroyaltyx · Post by **xanemicroyaltyx** » Sat Feb 26, 2005 11:02 pm

because i don't want to hurt me anymore

xanemicroyaltyx · Post by **xanemicroyaltyx** » Mon Feb 28, 2005 2:05 pm

because i'm seeing syd and andrea tomorrow.

bus

Why you won't SI

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