Kinda proud of myself!

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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wondercheese
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Kinda proud of myself!

Post by wondercheese » Fri May 14, 2004 5:44 pm

I'm not really sure what happend last night, I remember that I really wanted to SI. Then there is a large blank period (I tend to blackout when I'm really triggered). Ususally when that happens, i wake up covered in SI marks, but this morning, I woke up covered in red marker! NO SI, just marker! Unfortunately, it was permanent marker, and I don't have any alcohol to get it off, so I'm at school covered in marker, but that's better than what I could be covered in!!!! I'm excited about it, it means something in there wants to quit besides just me! I'll wash it off in the lab after classes, there's plenty of alcohol up there, it is nasty lab grade stuff, but it will get marker off. This will be the first time that I blacked out wanting to SI and didn't SI! I hope that it happens like this more often now. I'll have to get a supply of non-permanent red markers!

wondercheese
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Shortie Blonde
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Post by Shortie Blonde » Fri May 14, 2004 8:16 pm

that's kinda cool.

One time I wanted to cut and I wrote on my wrist with a green sharpie...the sharpie gave me a "natural" high by sinking into my skin...:( (it's edge cuz it wasn't on purpose)...and I got green stuff all over my security animal.
Joe Strummer RIP
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nirvana
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Post by nirvana » Sun May 16, 2004 2:07 am

congrats! :D glad you just drew on yourself instead of cut. hope you're able to do that again.

love, tara.
i thought i was a fool for no one, but baby i'm a fool for you.

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plantt
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Post by plantt » Mon May 17, 2004 12:12 am

good for you! :grnstar:
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xPaintTheStarsx
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Post by xPaintTheStarsx » Mon May 17, 2004 2:23 pm

Congrats! You should be proud, thats a great step :)
:purpstar: :dkpurpstar: :purpstar:
<i>buried deep as you can dig inside yourself
and hidden in the public eye
such a stellar monument to loneliness.
laced with brilliant smiles, and shining eyes
and perfect makeup.
but you're barely scraping by...</i>
:purpstar: :dkpurpstar: :purpstar:

:bfly: My Place :bfly:
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Laura
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Post by Laura » Mon May 17, 2004 2:45 pm

That's great! :grnteeth:

I've done that sometimes - my marker does wash off mostly, but I do feel kind of silly standing in the shower like that :olol:

Laura :java:
<center>
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lost down here
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Post by lost down here » Wed Jun 02, 2004 11:02 pm

aww good im glad for you hun, so proud of you!!!!!!!!!! keep it up!!!!
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