last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

swanfaerie · Post by **swanfaerie** » Sun May 09, 2004 2:36 am

i found a new distraction, im'd a friend, and watched an overdue movie

lost down here · Post by **lost down here** » Sun May 09, 2004 9:24 pm

i threw my blade across the room

pinkcucumber · Post by **pinkcucumber** » Mon May 10, 2004 12:33 am

i ate cheese!

limestone · Post by **limestone** » Thu May 13, 2004 11:18 am

instead: talked, cried and then talked some more. strange how after talking even when you've given up can work.

side question: why only 13 pages to this thread

seems a bit odd to me....

sassy koala · Post by **sassy koala** » Thu May 13, 2004 2:45 pm

fell asleep.

KyLiE · Post by **KyLiE** » Thu May 13, 2004 3:27 pm

Ive thrown my blades away

ShellyT · Post by **ShellyT** » Sun May 16, 2004 3:56 pm

i didn't want to break my multi-month streak

daria · Post by **daria** » Mon May 17, 2004 5:33 am

I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he'd upset me to that point. I wrote out a lengthy letter to him instead, and hid it away in a drawer.

Complexia · Post by **Complexia** » Tue May 18, 2004 1:48 am

I got up and yelled Linkin Park lol

Seeshellz · Post by **Seeshellz** » Tue May 18, 2004 4:53 pm

Actually the last time I wanted to SI I did, but it was just superficial scratches. Do they count? Probably. Sorry.

Love, Shelley

snowangel_03 · Post by **snowangel_03** » Wed May 19, 2004 6:58 pm

the last time i wanted to si was last week, but i didn't; i was hurting bad, but (a) not as bad as i do when i *do* si, and (b) because i didn't want my best friend to hurt

i'm starting to realise that i *can* control this, that i *don't* need to do this, and that i'm worth more than this...

titbit of advice to all:
just keep that (above sentence) as a mantra; say it to yourself as much as you can, and you'll get stronger, and you'll beat this

shadowd113 · Post by **shadowd113** » Thu May 20, 2004 2:35 am

last time i didn't si....i realized that i was becoming too dependent on it, and that scared me. o, also i thought about my friends, and how much i loved them and they loved me. i wrote in my journel, which helped immensly, and went to bed.

Antenna · Post by **Antenna** » Fri May 21, 2004 2:35 am

Discovered that I still existed.

pretty · Post by **pretty** » Fri May 21, 2004 12:21 pm

I didn't want to lose my days, and when I thought about it, when I looked the urge in the eye, I didn't really want to do it anyway.

Middleground · Post by **Middleground** » Sun May 23, 2004 12:08 pm

Last time I wanted to I did.... and a friend referred me here... I'm counting the days until I can get a one-week sticker in my sig.

becs · Post by **becs** » Sun May 23, 2004 5:31 pm

The urge was not as strong as it has been.

snowangel_03 · Post by **snowangel_03** » Tue May 25, 2004 10:32 am

**poss minor trig, minor lang**

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i have to confess something...

the last time i wanted to, i did

but the last time i wanted to and didn't, my best friend popped into my head and that made me cry it all out; i've promised him that i'd stop, and unfortunately i keep breaking that promise (yes, i know i'm a bad person because of that

), but i love him more than anything in the world, and thinking about how much i'd hurt him if i did si, hurt to such an extent that i couldn't bear to stab him in the heart yet again... (not literally, just metophorically..

) and realising that our friendship was more important than making myself bleed, i cried and cried coz i love him so much and i'm breaking his heart everytime i tell him that i've "sliced myself up" again... he's the only person i've told about my si'ing that actually cares. hell, he's the only person in my life who cares about me...

...but the thing that makes all this harder for me is that he lives in australia, and i live in the uk, and i'll never actualy get to see him (i met him on the net..a bit dangerous, i know..), but he's the only person i have that i can really talk to...i can tell him anything, and he'll always listen, and if i'm feeling like shit, he always manages to cheer me up

sidetracked myself..

.. but what stopped me ffrom si'ing, was my best friend; he wasn't even around, but i still felt him there; he's always in my head, but even more so that whenever i'm feeling so low that i wanna deface myself...

i garbled.. i'm sorry

say · Post by **say** » Tue May 25, 2004 7:41 pm

I remembered how I always feel later: guilty, relieved, guilty for feeling relieved, embarrassed...

amyfairy · Post by **amyfairy** » Tue May 25, 2004 8:47 pm

I couldnt be arsed to move

pretty · Post by **pretty** » Wed May 26, 2004 6:01 am

I got out of bed and came on bus.

bus

last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

Last time I wanted to SI but didn't why?

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