ACTIVITIES TO PROMOTE HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM

[angelic212]

ACTIVITIES TO PROMOTE HEALTHY SELF-ESTEEM



Remember that changing the habits that have promoted low self-esteem takes time and effort. You did not develop the behaviors and thought patterns reflected in poor esteem overnight, and they cannot be totally altered quickly. With practice, however, you will recognize gradual improvement in your attitude towards and treatment of yourself. Appreciate tiny steps of progress! Be patient with yourself and persistent in your efforts!


List affirmations. Write down some statements that you wish you had been told about yourself when you were growing up. Write things you1d like to hear now. Write things you hope you will say to your children to help them feel good about themselves. Keep your list handy for at least a week to add thoughts as they occur.

Read your affirmations. Several times daily (it helps to set aside a scheduled time period), read the affirmations you have written. Read them slowly and direct them towards yourself. Imagine yourself as a young child, hearing these messages. You will not believe them at first, and that is all right. It is important that you say them to yourself over and over.

Write your affirmations on notecards or small sheets of paper. It is preferable to include only one or two statements on each card. Place the cards in strategic places throughout your home. For instance, tape some to your bathroom and bedroom mirrors and attach some with magnets to your refrigerator. Place some in your wallet and purse and leave some on the dashboard of your car. Read these several times a day. Add to them.

Notice some of the affirming messages that are particularly warming and soothing to you. Begin to repeat these to yourself several times a day, especially on stressful days, or when you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk. Remember, you will not believe any of the messages at first. It is important that you say them anyway - again and again and again.

Treat yourself to at least one thing that you enjoy everyday. This may be something as simple as taking a warm bath or reading a chapter in a novel or sipping some hot flavored coffee. Choose something that is a real treat for you. As you begin your self-nurturing activity, say to yourself, "I am doing this because I like it and that is enough. I am worth treating well." You may want to repeat this and similar phrases throughout your enjoyable exercise.

Identify and STOP thought patterns that are detrimental to your self-esteem. Note what you say to yourself during periods of stress or when you make a mistake. Monitor your self-talk throughout the day. Whenever a negative self-statement pops into your mind (habits are hard to break, remember), think, "STOP!", "NO", or "I don1t have to believe that about myself." Then repeat an affirming message or statement that negates the self-defeating one.

Make a list of the negative self-statements that you tend to make when under stress. If you are unable to identify these readily, compile your list over a period of time by monitoring your thoughts during stressful periods. Once you have written down your self-damaging statements, write the opposite of each message or a challenge to each one. For example, change "I am stupid" to "I am smart and competent in many areas."

Explore and challenge irrational beliefs about yourself. Are you operating under some beliefs that are unrealistic and/or immature? Have you examined the effect of these beliefs on your emotional functioning? Is it time to discard and replace some of these self-defeating, irrational thoughts? Some common beliefs to examine include the following:
I must be perfect in order to have value.
I must have the approval of others at all times in order to have worth.
My needs are not worth being met - at least not as much as other people1s needs.

Write positive self-statements to replace the negative ones that you have identified. Say these to yourself over and over again. Some examples of useful self-statements are:
I am worthwhile.
My needs matter. I must meet my own needs before I attempt to meet anyone else1s.
I am special.
The world is better off with me in it.

Develop, clarify, and embrace a healthy self-concept. Ask yourself, "Who am I really?" Spend time thinking about what you like and dislike and what you enjoy doing. List your characteristics, roles, and goals. Read these periodically and repeat, "This is part of who I am and that is wonderful."

List things that you like. Treat yourself to at least one of these each week. List things that you don1t like. Read the list by stating for each item, "I do not like _____________ and that is okay. This is part of who I am."

List all of the things that you can think of that are positive about yourself. Add to your list. Include things that others like about you. Commit to learning to like these things about yourself.

Accept compliments ALWAYS. Respond to every compliment with a simple, "Thank you". No qualifications, explanations, or denials allowed! When you accept a compliment, you are communicating respect to the person who gave it to you.

Use images to nurture yourself. In a comfortable, relaxed state, picture yourself as a child being cared for tenderly and lovingly by yourself as an adult. Recognize the importance of parenting yourself. This is a developmental skill that individuals with low self-esteem usually have not learned.

Obtain pictures of yourself as a child. Look closely at the child in the picture. Talk to the child in nurturing terms. Tell her/him that you care and that you are sorry for the hurt s/he carries. Tell her/him the affirmative messages you wrote earlier - the ones this child wanted so badly to hear.

Demonstrate self-respect by taking care of yourself. Eat properly. Get enough rest and sleep. Demand the same care for yourself that you would for your friends or children. ACT AS IF you like yourself. Eventually, you will!

Practice making decisions. Whenever you are in a group heading for lunch, be the first to vote for where you all will go. If you have no preference at the moment, make one up! Recognize your right to have a preference and choose to please yourself. Develop the habit of recognizing what you want when you want it.

Say "NO"! Set limits as to what you will tolerate in relationships. Give yourself permission to satisfy your own needs, desires, and wants before those of others. Practice assertiveness skills. (Saying "no" to salespeople is a good place to start!)

Grieve childhood losses. Many people with low self-esteem experienced some form of trauma or neglect in childhood. It is important to acknowledge this as a loss without blaming. When we are blaming, we are angry. Beneath the anger is the more painful hurt, which can be resolved only through validation and mourning. If you do not grieve, you are likely to waste years of adulthood searching for someone to meet these unmet childhood needs. The only human being who can meet these needs now is yourself. As with all healthy mourning, the grief does not last forever. Grieve properly and you will be able to let go and move forward.

Ask someone you care about to give you a hug. You are lovable and loved. You and the little boy or girl inside need to know that. With practiced attention and care, eventually you both will.

i found this on the internet and it seems to be really helpful i hope that it will help you all

love always maria

[jetblacknewme]

Thanks! That's really helpful, one for printing out methinks!

[Tigerlily]

This is incredibly relevant to me at the moment. Thanks so much for posting it, it will be very helpful

Tigerlily x

[reallycreamed]

thanks for posting this -- hopefully someday i can actually manage to do these things.

[Twitter Mouse]

Thank you Maria!!! I will have to try some of these.

[Seeshellz]

Thanks for posting this. I have tried some of these things and they do work! It is a good reminder for me to do more and keep it up. I do let things slip sometimes. So I'll put in an effort to practice these pointers.

Your friend, Shelley