is it ok?

[depressedhorsegrl]

last night my friend had a party...so i went just to get out of the house and not get yelled at for awhile (my dad yells at me whenever im home) so i go and alot of the people were pissing me off...so i went and sat in the corner and call my other friend (she lives in a diff state) she said to screw them and just stay in the corner. i did but every1 kept comming up to me and asking me what was wrong...one of my best friends came up to me and i kicked her to get away (she knows when i do that i dont want to be bothered at all) then my friend niki came up (shes the only on who knows that my dad does that to me) so i let her and her boyfriend stay with me (her and her boyfriend doesnt care he *SI* too) so we were talking and i finaly get up. i tell her that i want to really bad because my dad didnt want me even going to the party and i was just gonna get yelled at when i got home (i did) she got really scared because i've done it right in front of her...she really wants me to stop. ive been si free for 3 weeks with one slip buti dont think i can stop right now...luckly the girl throwing the party didnt have a pair of siccors (cant spell) or a knife. i know theres other ways but those 2 ways work best for me. is that ok that i told her that i wanted to please help!!!

[Laura]

This sounds like a pretty difficult situation. I'm not sure that I can tell you what is or isn't ok - it's really between you and your friend. Noone should try to force you to stop SI when you're not ready, but everyone has their boundaries - I mean like if a friend asks you not to SI in front of her, then that's a reasonable request, while insisting that you must not SI again ever is not reasonable cos that's your decision.

Hmmm not sure I'm making sense.... I sort of mean that SI is your choice, but how far involved your friends are willing to be is their choice. I'm not saying that my views on this are the only "right" ones either, just that it's what seems reasonable to me.

Personally, I generally feel very uncomfortable about the idea of someone knowing that I am SIing and I wouldn't do it in front of anyone, or tell them what I was about to do. But I have some friends who are strong enough and supportive enough that I can tell them that I am wanting to SI, so that they can try to help me not to. But not all friends are able to handle that.

It's difficult. Probably talking it over with your friend is the best thing.
And I'm sorry you are going through such a horrible time with your Dad too.

Take care
Love Laura

[Facelessnames]

in my opinion i think its good you told someone. Its good to have someone to talk to. Its really tough to hide it for a long time.....and im glad you didnt find an object to cut with.....hope things with you get better.....
peace and love
jayne