last time i wanted to si, i didn't because.......

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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P!nk
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Post by P!nk » Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:19 am


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mercykill
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i didnt cut b/c.....

Post by mercykill » Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:30 pm

my boyfriend loves me and i love him...and i never want to do soemthing that could possibly make him leave me or do something that could lead to me leaving...... :( and i called him and he told me to write a story and i did...kind of a dark story...but it helped....
you :heart: me like a piece of trash :1_week_si_free:
livejournal: mercy_kill

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Crimson Arranz
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Post by Crimson Arranz » Wed Mar 17, 2004 8:05 am

I talked online with my best friend... he told me he knew I wouldn't let him or anyone down and that I wouldn't destroy everything I had worked for...

blacktiger

Post by blacktiger » Fri Mar 19, 2004 1:49 am

*deleted*
Last edited by blacktiger on Tue Feb 19, 2008 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by tenar » Sat Mar 20, 2004 5:44 pm

i have decided i am not going to cut and have told people i amnot going to cut. so i'm not going to, i can't back out.

instead. i just stayed with freinds, kept my hands where they couldn't get up to mischief against me, avoided releasing anger by hitting things.

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Post by RickTheTwinkie » Mon Mar 22, 2004 4:16 am

I remembered the pain and embarassment. Unlike some people, I feel a lot of pain when I SI. I also remembered the nasty scars on my arm and I didn't want to have to explain why I have a cut on my arm if I wore short-sleeves.
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Post by { Phoenix } » Mon Mar 22, 2004 4:30 am

I am trying to not SI right now. I am listening to loud, angry music, and talking to a friend online, because I am worth more than SI. I have other ways to express my anger. I don't need to cut.

~A fragile Cat~
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Post by sassy koala » Mon Mar 22, 2004 4:50 am

last night I got it. I figured out what (for me) the key is. Power. It's about not giving that other person or thing the power to control me like that. I have the power as long as I am in control and stay in control of myself. So, last night I wanted to si so bad (fight with hubby), but decided that I could either let that asshole control me into si'ing or I could not give him that power and keep my string of si free days going.
not sure if this makes sense or not. :)
sk

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Post by SaraiStar » Mon Mar 22, 2004 8:11 am

The last time I wanted to cut I didn't because my boyfriend/ best friend/ love of my life was coming to visit, and I know how much it affects him to see when I've done that. At first it seemed a stupid or weak reason to me, cause it wasn't coming totally from within, but I think now I see that it's ok to borrow strength from other people sometimes.

-S :star:
"She says she's tired of life... she must be tired of something...."

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Post by Inwë Lessien » Mon Mar 22, 2004 12:11 pm

The last time I wanted to cut I thought about:

:star: My family. I've put my parents and sibs in so much turmoil, what with going into the hospital and all. My niece gave me a hug a couple of days after I got out and said to me: "Now don't you go leavin' us again." I can't possibly hurt them anymore; and I don't want to see my mother cry like that ever again.

:star: My boyfriend. Even though he doesn't really call anymore or show that he cares, I hope against hope that he does; and that I'm doing the right thing in assuming that it'll still hurt and upset him to no end.

:star: Going back to IP. One of the staff there, J.D., made a bet with me and said, "You'll be in here before the end of the month." The hell I will. He won't get the satisfaction.

And instead of SI-ing, I:

:star: painted my nails
:star: goofed off on Random Weirdness and Distractions boards
:star: went out to dinner with my parents
:star: went out to play DDR with Rachael, my little sister.

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Post by Saren » Mon Mar 22, 2004 5:47 pm

I saw the "1 month recovery" AA coin my "stepfather" (mom's boyfriend) gave me about SIing. He's been sober for like 10 years, and he gave me a coin a month after I got out of the hospital :). I remembered so many people care and that I wasn't alone in my battle.
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Post by Comanche Let Thru » Wed Mar 24, 2004 7:53 pm

decided to draw a mandala. :)

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Post by alegria » Thu Mar 25, 2004 10:20 pm

I couldn't figure out why i wanted to so i did the fifteen minute thing till i felt better. Haven't done it in 10 days.
Deliver me, out of my sadness.
Deliver me, from all of the madness.
Deliver me, courage to guide me.
Deliver me, strength from inside me.

All of my life i've been in hiding...

~Sarah Brightman

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Post by RickTheTwinkie » Thu Mar 25, 2004 10:23 pm

I didn't do it because I lacked the motivation to get up out of bed, get the implements, and commit the act.
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Post by jacidsky » Sat Mar 27, 2004 7:27 pm

made the decision to take the hottest shower i could handle... it hurt like hell but i felt better afterwards.

3 weeks free at the moment.
Get Real they tell me
If only they new how real this life really gets

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Post by Unrecognizable » Sun Mar 28, 2004 4:29 am

A friend asked me not to do it, something he's never done before. And he told me I wasn't the only one I was hurting when I cut myself... he's the only one that knows though, so that means I was hurting him... and I couldn't bear the thought of doing that to him again. So I haven't done it since.
But that is the one and only reason I'm not doing it. If it weren't for him, I would be.

Thank goodness for good friends... :)

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Post by Russianpoetess » Sun Mar 28, 2004 4:33 am

I want to si everyday. I don't beacuase I know I need to stop and I know this is not the way to cope. because it know i will lie about it and i hate lying. because it hurts other people and i dont want to hurt them.
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Post by 8586 » Sun Mar 28, 2004 8:04 pm

I didn't want to have to worry about it showing while playing soccer.

I really wanted to though :-? , but I guess I am glad I didn't.
Cry as I may, but these tears won't wash you away...

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Post by Ardeth » Sun Mar 28, 2004 11:02 pm

I didn't si because I thought of my boyfriend... and how much he loved me and how much he understands but I can always see it hurts him in a way as well.
Unfortunately I can also say there was absloutely not other reason...
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Post by { Phoenix } » Mon Mar 29, 2004 5:57 am

I thought of how far I've come, and how I am a new person now. I am someone who does not need to cut. I do not need to cut to express myself. I can use words. Words are powerful. I do not need to use blood. I will be okay. I went to visit my fiancé at work, and brought him dinner, and I expressed my frustration and anger. I used words instead of cutting to express how I feel.

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<center>If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky.
You can hide underneath me and come out at night,
when I turn jet black and you show off your light.
I live to let you shine.

:blkstar: :blkstar: :blkstar:

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