Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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theatregeek
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Post by theatregeek » Sun Mar 14, 2004 2:03 am

FUCK YOU dont act like 2 different people around different people you two faced whore YOU are such a horrible person, i know i am one 2, but you treat everyone like shit, no1 likes you at all except for like 5 people, if u actually didnt act like such a bitch maybe people would like you, alright bitch? Take the pineapple out of your fucking ass and stop acting like a bitch
<3>Heidi<---<3
-------------------------------------------------------
Lie To me
Convince Me That I've Been Sick Forever
And All Of This
Will Make Sense When I Get Better
-------------------------------------------------------
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... t=#2889033 (my poem gallery)


*Hopeless*

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chree
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Post by chree » Sun Mar 14, 2004 5:09 am

Stuart- pull yourself together, come visit me and love me like i know we are supposed to love each other. on a grassy hill somewhere in Britain...

Sean- please do not leave. Please come back to this friendship. You are the person in my life that i would never have thought would hurt me like this. You know the buttons, and you are pushing them. Please do not take advanage of this firendship and hurt me like you are. YOu are really really hurting me. I do not even kow who you are right now....
you are only proving to me that i am right that all friends will leave me when they find something better....

mom. where have you been? Why aren't you the mom i've needed.

jimi- go to hell.

eric- follow jimi
We all have things that hang on our back, things that make us cool, things that make us whack. But they're just the things that make us real, not the maps to guide where we go from here. The road twists and braids our hair, until we all get there.
-one giant leap
come visit me!

http://busmail.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=48568

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Imperfection
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My thoughts.

Post by Imperfection » Mon Mar 15, 2004 5:42 am

Dear...
L- I love you, because you are my best friend. But stop being so fucking self-absorbed. I hate that since you can admit that you don't care about anyone but yourself, you think it's okay to be a bitch when you want to be. Grow up, because you must face reality. Stop being so damn unappreciative of everything everyone does for you!! I helped you when you asked for it, but you were never thankful!! So, I am pissed!!! You always anger me, but I never say anything, because I'm afraid of losing my friends. You had no damn right to tell me I have Borderline Personality Disorder. You're not a fucking doctor!! Fuck it! I won't let you push me around anymore!
Matthew - I hate everything about you!! But I love you so much!
Mom - Stop telling me what I should feel or be. You're trying to run my life and control my thoughts and feelings. Let me be me!!!

I think that's it for now. Hmm, I feel better! :lol:
I bleed. Therefore, I am...

In case you failed to notice,
In case you failed to see,
This is my heart bleeding before you.
This is me down on my knees...


http://www.livejournal.com/users/katy_/

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darkrose
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*si

Post by darkrose » Mon Mar 15, 2004 6:53 am

Meg- Don't go making people think you have problems when you don't! you only want attention and I don't want to put up with you!

Katie- Stop asking when you see cuts and such. If I didn't tell you the first time I'm not going to tell the sencond, third or twentieth time!

Mom- Realize that I'm not cutting to hurt you! Don't act all sad like when you see or hear about my SIong again...it hurts me to know that I make you sad!

Jeremy- I'm glad you're there!

Laura- Thanx for not prying. It really means alot!

Tasha- Please...I trusted you why did you have to go around telling people about my SI? then get mad at me for being upset! I only trusted you...now there's no one to trust!

Vanessa- If I block you it means i don't want to talk to you! don't sign in on your other address to bug me some more. You're preppyness bothers me!

Caitlin- I'm sorry I never noticed! And I'm sorry I was never there! Please forgive me!

Yeah....i guess that's all for now!

-Darkrose
I wonder how many people are saying "fine" when they're not.

I think that from now on I'm going to look a little bit deeper...because I'm not the only one.

Guest

Post by Guest » Mon Mar 15, 2004 2:42 pm

M- I'll do the test this weekend. I know I should do it NOW, but I'm going to wait 4 more days. If it's positive, which I have a strong feeling it will be, 4 days won't make any difference. And maybe waiting will mean something happens that means I won't need to...
I wish I knew how you'd react to that kind of news. Hell, I wish I knew how I'd react. Want it, don't want it, don't think I'd be able to not have it (principles are great and all, but now it's me trying to decide, I don't feel I'd be able to do... that...), don't think we're ready for it... OK, I guess I know how you'd react, with support, but I want to know what you'd really think about it.
Love you baby.

B- I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm being an awful friend and I WILL call tonight.

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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Tue Mar 16, 2004 2:23 am

*It's amaing how many times you can call me a bitch and think it bothers me. I know I'm a bitch. Definitely. But because I decided not to put up with you and your selfish, attention whoring problems, makes me a stronger person. I have a dying friend in the hospital and you're like, "LOOK AT ME! I'M SO SUICIDAL!" How badly do you need that attention, really? Whatever. I have better friends. Much better friends. And believe it or not, I probably have more than you!

By the way, a lot of people I know through the show LOATHE you. One of them actually wants to kick your ass, and I had never said one word about you to her before. It was just ironic how quickly she picked up on your need to be the center of attention. But then again, maybe she was just right, and it just took me wayyyy longer to realize it. And even the people who don't totally hate you think you should stop pretending to have talent. You call yourself an actress, and find Shakespeare boring. Honey, if you ever told a REAL director that, they'd probably look at you like you had three heads and then proceed to tell you how you could never have a professional career in stage theatre. Not that I'd be surprised if anyone ever told you that. You work well in Hollywood, where most people are fake, like you. But where the REAL talent is? You couldn't last five seconds.

And the pineapple up the ass insult? That was all me and Zach, so please don't try to use it against me. Especially since it's too clever for you to have come up with yourself.

I will waste no more precious time or energy thinking about you, talking shit about you, or even caring whether you live or die. You wanna kill yourself so bad? Do it. Your suicide threats have no meaning because you've said you were going to so many times and you're still living and breathing, how unfortunate for the rest of the world. Seriously, the next time you threaten suicide to make people feel for you? It won't work on the smart people of the world, because it's an empty threat. It means nothing. I doubt you've ever really tried. Have a good life, honey. You don't DESERVE people like me to be a part of it.

*I love you so much. You know what I love the most? Your loyalty. And my loyalty to you. It's so ridiculous how many high school relationships are ruined by temptation and cheating, but I know ours never will be. This has been five months of PARADISE. You make my life absolutely AMAZING. After I have to deal with people like the person mentioned above all day, you just make everything worth it. You make me feel beautiful, loved, and sexy, and I don't even know how to tell you how much I love you. I love you more and more with every passing day, and I would do absolutely anything for you, as I *hope* you have picked up on.

Five months? Just a foreshadowing of what amazing things our relationship has in store for us.

*One of the best friends I could ever have. I know that I can go to you with anything that I can't trust him with. I can trust you to keep secrets. We have so much fun together, and it's just nice to hang out with you and know that you're listening to me, and that only you and me know. I love you. You have made such an impact on my life, and no matter what happens to us, I will NEVER EVER forget you.

*I miss you more than I can say. I have so much to say to you. I just wanna cuddle up with you like we used to, and have all those good times together, sleeping in the tent, kayaking, swimming in the pool, fantasizing about all of the guys we went through (well, at least you stuck with one)...I wish you were here again. I wasn't being a very good friend before you left, and everyday I hate myself more and more for not realizing. If I lose you, I will never, ever forgive myself. But I won't lose you. I will NOT give up on you. Ever. You can pull through, honey, I know you can. You are an incredibly willful person (which is what got you where you are now, but anyways...), and I know that if you set your mind to getting better that you CAN. I know you can. We all do. I'm praying for you, baby. Come home soon.

*Thank you for everything. For being my friend for so long, for listening to those stupid rants and raves, and for teaching me about faith and hope when I needed it most. I'm using it now. Because you renewed that in me. And I owe you so much for that.

I wish we were close again. I miss you, and you're right here. I don't want to lose you like I lost her. I need to keep close with the good people in my life, like you. You've been so great to me and I'm blessed with a friend like you.

*Best pals forever. After all that we've gone through, with wedding plans, and our future husbands and children? God, our weddings are going to be so awesome, considering the fact we've already planned them. Has anyone been best friends as long as us? Does everyone know those secret little quirks about their friends? Doubt it. It's just me and you. And you're always so honest with me, sometimes a bit too honest... :roll: , but it's all good. I like the honesty. You've yet to backstab me after ten years, and others have taken less time than that. I love you, babe.
<center>Image

I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
*I :heart: KP*
</center>

Guest

Post by Guest » Tue Mar 16, 2004 5:06 pm

Wow. Thanks. Are you this pleasant to everyone, or am I just super fucking lucky? You shithead.

internettie

Post by internettie » Tue Mar 16, 2004 7:09 pm

D: Sorry I'm such an embarrassment to you... :(

Inwë Lessien

Post by Inwë Lessien » Tue Mar 16, 2004 11:01 pm

* I'm sorry....::sniffle::

* Come home, please. I know you want to finish your paper, but you know what? I want you to come home!!! And I know we don't always get what we want, but I think I've made far more sacrifices in the "Giving up what I want for the sake of you," department! Can't you just do this one thing for me?

* I miss you, honey....come home soon; there's lots I need someone to talk to about; and well, you're my sister after all....meh. Come home. Plus, my DDR is soooo off w/o you LOL...:roll:

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sassy koala
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Post by sassy koala » Wed Mar 17, 2004 5:12 pm

fuck you all

*this is aimed at co-workers*

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Post by Dungeon_Lilly » Wed Mar 17, 2004 8:43 pm

Do you know how much I want to give up? do you really think that when all I want to do is curl up and die you getting all upset because I cut is gonna help? I cope like this you knew I did this before we met you've known what a fucked up freak I am since we first spoke if you couldn't handle it you shouldn't have decided to be with me.
<center>

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality

:tslug:

:dkpurpstar: :purpstar: :lpurpstar:

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Post by kurdt_kobain » Thu Mar 18, 2004 3:50 am

Ms. P--I'm really mad at you for what you did to me. I thought you respected, liked and knew me, but I guess not. If you don't think higher of me then that, I guess I can't think that highly of you anymore. I'm not as mad as I was, and I'm trying to forgive you, but it still really bothers me.

Ms. T--Thank you so much.

Kelly--I wish you could have what I have.

Joel--[size=0]I actually like you. I really like you. Please don't hate me.[/size]

Amber--I wish you wouldn't get mad at me. I don't mean to fuck up. I'm not really fucking up. You're my friend, don't be pissed at me. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND.

Chante--Yeah. Thanks a lot for calling me back. I trust you, you can't help me? Thanks a bunch.
trying to follow in the footsteps of the masters,
but it's a lot harder than it looks because even though
they had the same size feet as us, they weren't looking
down the whole time while they walked to make sure
they were doing it right.
[story people]

Guest

Post by Guest » Thu Mar 18, 2004 1:23 pm

*I'm almost speechless. If I have to hear your pathetic self indulgent whining just once more...

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Post by Dungeon_Lilly » Thu Mar 18, 2004 11:23 pm

Sam- your an immature bitch get over yourself and don't fucking act like your above me.

Sophie- Your a superviser that means you supervise people on lower courses not on the same one, don't order me about i'm not your student you bitch.

People at college- for fucks sake just say it to my face you sad losers

Heather- grow up and stop trying to turn everyone against spud, do you even care how evil your being?

Spud- quit trying to wind people up noones gonna be sympathetic when Heather gives you shit if you annoy her.

Laura W- I don't like you leave me alone

Laura S- fuck you
<center>

I'm all lost in the supermarket
I can no longer shop happily
I came in here for that special offer
A guaranteed personality

:tslug:

:dkpurpstar: :purpstar: :lpurpstar:

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kurdt_kobain
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Post by kurdt_kobain » Fri Mar 19, 2004 3:30 am

Listen, I don't care if you think this of me. Actually, I do. It really, really, really hurts me. I don't know what to do to make myself feel better. I feel like shit and I have lost all respect that I had for you. I thought you thought better of me then this. But if you don't want to believe me, that's your choice. I don't care. I don't care.
I'm trying not to care. This whole thing is making me want to go back to where I was before. I'm going to keep fighting, but I'm not getting any help from you.
You don't know me at all if you think this of me. This hurts me a lot.
trying to follow in the footsteps of the masters,
but it's a lot harder than it looks because even though
they had the same size feet as us, they weren't looking
down the whole time while they walked to make sure
they were doing it right.
[story people]

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri Mar 19, 2004 12:57 pm

Yes, I do hate you. Yes, I am mad at you. Yes, I would like to know that you, for once, are suffering. I would enjoy sitting down and knowing that right now, you are hurting and scared and totally fucking humiliated and so confused that you think you'll never get straight again. No, I can't forgive you. No, I don't think I'm exaggerating. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING. We did not have a 'rollercoaster relationship'. We did not have 'a few fights'... and fuck, no, we did not 'fight a lot... but making up was worth it'. Making up? What fucking planet of retards are you from? You call what you used to do us fighting? Fighting? If I ever got more than one fucking response out when you were starting on me, that was a miracle. If I raised my voice to you, you fucking bastard, it was usually to scream at you to please stop, please don't, please please please I'm sorry I'm sorry please please. Is that fighting? One time, ONE fucking time, I hit you back. And you made me regret that, didn't you? You made me pay for that all right. I don't call it fighting when you get drunk and I've been doing an essay and I come home tired and you tell me to go and get hash from Chris and I say I'm exhausted and you beat on me and then MAKE me go to Chris (oh you were so clever, you could always do it so it could be hidden, guess I learned that much from you, huh?) and when I come back really, really go for me until I'm screaming ans crying and on the fucking floor at your feet begging you not to hurt me any more, and you still don't stop, like you always said you'd stop when YOU knew I'd had enough, did I think you'd listen to someone as fucking stupid as me anyway? I'm sick just remembering that one time, do you have any idea what it's like to carry all the others with me as well? Do you get it yet? Making up... you wanker, that wasn't making up, that was me doing anything I could to keep you happy, that was me knowing that if I didn't play your whore I'd play your punchbag all over again. I wish I could say I can't believe you said all that SHIT to Sarah, but I know you, I know what you'd do. It used to work, people used to believe that you were just passionate, that we just had a really intense relationship, but they all know the truth now. You live in your fantasy world if you want, you try and tell people I know your fucking lies, but it's not going to get you anywhere. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I WISH YOU WERE DEAD YOU EVIL FUCKING BASTARD I WISH I COULD WATCH YOU DIE. Look what you've done to me, months and months since I saw you, and you've done it to me again without even being anywhere near me. Why won't you just fuck off and die?

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Twitter Mouse
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Post by Twitter Mouse » Fri Mar 19, 2004 6:27 pm

Dad- I hate you you fucking piece of shit!!!!! I hate you, and I always will!!!!
And it's hey babe, with your guardian eyes so blue,
Hey my baby, don't you know our love is true,
I've been so far from here,
Far from your loving arms,
Now I'm back again, and babe it's gonna work out fine.

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Sparrow
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Post by Sparrow » Sat Mar 20, 2004 2:57 am

I can not stand thinking about the two of you!!!!! I hold such anger and loathe for you and the things you did to your kids!!!! You never should have been parents!!!!! You damage these kids and now that they are grown so many other people are left to deal with the mess they are because of the both of you !!!!!!! I shouldn't have to work through all of his problems and suffer from them because you fucked him up so badly as a kid!!!!! You are both FUCKING TRAILER TRASH !!!!!!! GO AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE !!!!!!
~Knock on the Sky and Listen to the Sound~

"There are some remedies worse than the disease " Syrus

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Sparrow
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Post by Sparrow » Sat Mar 20, 2004 2:58 am

I can not stand thinking about the two of you!!!!! I hold such anger and loathe for you and the things you did to your kids!!!! You never should have been parents!!!!! You damage these kids and now that they are grown so many other people are left to deal with the mess they are because of the both of you !!!!!!! I shouldn't have to work through all of his problems and suffer from them because you fucked him up so badly as a kid!!!!! You are both FUCKING TRAILER TRASH !!!!!!! GO AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE !!!!!!
~Knock on the Sky and Listen to the Sound~

"There are some remedies worse than the disease " Syrus

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nirvana
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Post by nirvana » Tue Mar 23, 2004 8:51 pm

b - i hate you for making me need you. it's crazy and wrong and manipulative, and i shouldn't fall for it again. but i am. and you know i hate needing people and you did it AGAIN. maybe i shouldn't be mad at you. maybe i should be mad at myself.

d - i didn't know how else to say it without coming out and directly saying that you are one of the most stuck up bitches i know and you have no compassion for anything, you don't fucking LISTEN when i'm talking to you, which isn't often because you're always talking nonsense and i can't get a word in.

k - i can not believe i ever cried because of you. because i've been laughing. for probably four hours total in the past two days. just cuz i was stupid and naiive and i feel sorry for rachel. i really honestly do. i hope you two are happy together.

g - he's better off without me, right? fuck you. if you want him, take the damn bastard i couldn't care less.

b - friends again. don't act like ben, i will get even more pissed and i will hurt you.

j - i guess you were only being nice to me so you could do your little wrist checks on me and make sure i was doing okay. hahhahaa FUCK YOU.

l - i can't believe you and j are best friends. you're way too nice for her.

w - you're soo sweet, thank you for being here and putting up with me.

p - go fuck yourself. i deserve better than that and you know it.

me - 41 days straight. hell yeah.
i thought i was a fool for no one, but baby i'm a fool for you.

[safe since february 2005.]

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