Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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serenity
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Post by serenity » Tue Jan 27, 2004 4:52 am

Dr.Peach-Why cant you figure out whats wrong with me? Your a doctor...your suppsoed to be smart!!!I hate how you asked me about my si today. Thats all you were worried about for the first half hour. I wasnt there for you to check up on my si. Ugh you made me soo freaking mad. Figure out whats wrong with me!!!!!!!!Dont bring in three other doctors just to tell me that you dont know!!!

Jen-I cant deal with you right now. Im sorry i failed and let you down, but i need to take care of me for a little while. Then i'll be back. promise.

N-I wrote you an email, telling you everything. Hope you can accept me for me.
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~Claire~
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Post by ~Claire~ » Tue Jan 27, 2004 4:39 pm

You want to help me? Hug me close and tell me it will be ok. Wipe away my tears. Just let me know Im not alone. I need it so much. I cant be alone anymore.

Claire xx
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Sing like nobody's listening.
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Post by Twitter Mouse » Thu Jan 29, 2004 10:24 pm

Dad- What the fuck is the point of trying to talk reasonably to you? No matter what I say, no matter how much I back myself up, you never accept that you maybe wrong! YOU ARE WRONG! Don't try to make me feel like shit for moving out after eight years of you making me feel like shit. Also, your grammar and spelling are beyond poor. Spell check was invented for a reason you know. :argggh: :bad-words:

Mom- You will never know how much I appreciate all the love and support you have given me. I love you so much. Thank You. :heart: :1hug:
And it's hey babe, with your guardian eyes so blue,
Hey my baby, don't you know our love is true,
I've been so far from here,
Far from your loving arms,
Now I'm back again, and babe it's gonna work out fine.

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Post by ~Claire~ » Sat Jan 31, 2004 2:31 pm

I cut cos of you. You'll never know that, but I did.

Claire xx
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:dkpurpstar: :lpurpstar: :pinkstar:
Sing like nobody's listening.
Dance like nobody's watching.
Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
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Post by guest11 » Sat Jan 31, 2004 11:54 pm

"I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away..... if I will it all away"

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Post by Twitter Mouse » Sun Feb 01, 2004 12:41 am

Dad- I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU
And it's hey babe, with your guardian eyes so blue,
Hey my baby, don't you know our love is true,
I've been so far from here,
Far from your loving arms,
Now I'm back again, and babe it's gonna work out fine.

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lostandalone
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Post by lostandalone » Sun Feb 01, 2004 2:02 am

Mom and dad- YOu don't know how to handle me. you don't know all the pain you've caused. I am sick of pretened to be perfect around you. You wonder why you never knew your kids well its bc you never cared. we came to you and you laughted at us, yelled at us, told us we were stupid. So I call home upset what do you do ask if I;m taking my fricken meds. Well I am and i hate them. I hate you.
K- Why do you do that? you are so confuseing. one minute you are telling people how they should act the next you are saying how stupid they are. It hurt when you told me my feelings about a certen situation was childish. I can't help it if your form of fun is not my form of fun.
R& W- I love you both but i am not your toy. You have to learn to respenct me for the girl/young woman that i am. What i was was the old me. the me who was use to being walked all over. Your not going to do it anymore.
K (differnt K)- I know you mean well I love ya and all but waht good is this? I can't take it. I am so sorry for breaking my promise. I jsut said it bc i knew it would make you proud. you were the first adult that i actuly trusted. Now i have hurt you. I'm sorry. I'll try better.
its hard to leave the past behind, when everyday it seems harder and harder, you can’t talk to anyone for they will not understand, the truth you hold within, drags you down bit by bit everyday, which leaves me to still say, its hard to leave the past behind.


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Remember tommorow is a new day
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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Sun Feb 01, 2004 4:10 pm

I can't even sleep anymore. I can't, it's almost impossible. I get too used to having you there holding me, and when I'm trying to go to sleep, I can't, because you're not there. I wish you could be there with me.
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I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
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theatregeek
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Post by theatregeek » Tue Feb 03, 2004 1:55 am

go ahead.....say that shit.....i cant believe u...i didnt do anything...i have kept u out of my issues....u guys dont know about my 3 otha SU attempts this past month....and u dont know how i feel and i did that so u guys didnt have to "deal with me" like u say....so now u go and talk more shit about me...oh jesus. thats horrible...what type of friend would do that? huh? u dont see me crying right now...but i am...and its not becuz of what u said...its becuz of why u said it...u will never see me cry over you guys again...cuz i am done until U decided when i am "GOOD ENOUGH" and "NORMAL ENOUGH" for you....
<3>Heidi<---<3
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Lie To me
Convince Me That I've Been Sick Forever
And All Of This
Will Make Sense When I Get Better
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serenity
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Post by serenity » Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:35 am

You hurt me so bad. So bad. Everytime i close my eyes its you i see. I cant be alone with guys anymore....did you know that??huh Z did you?!! You did that to me. You made me scared. You made me dirty. I hate you so much for that. So so so much. I will never be the same. fuck Z why did you have to do that? WHY??? You took that little bit of self worth that i had and you crushed it under your foot. You fucking hurt me so bad.
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!! :evil:
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always
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Post by always » Tue Feb 03, 2004 4:59 pm

just because i cut doesn't mean i'm messed up... you and your friends go home to big houses and happy families, rooms full of new electronic equiptment... you drive expensive cars that your parents give you... use money that you didn't earn... you don't ahve to pay for things yourself... you dont' have to pay insurance... or for your lunches... or your entire college education by yourself... you have no idea what i've been through, wha ti ahve to face each day... i'm sick of being looked down on... i'm sick of you trying to get on my boyfriend because you think you can ahve whatever you want... that everyone will bend to your will because everyone "loves you"... when i'm standing there with him he turns a cold shoulder to you, and you keep trying... when he points me out to be his girlfriend and he doesn't want to talk... that he doesn't want to go screw you like you think every other guy does... ... i want to hurt you, make you feel how i feel... not everyone loves you... you are not perfect... i can't wait for the day when i'm out int he world... making a living for myself... when i'm out there, handling my problems... because i've been through a lot... i'm 17 and no one should have to put up with some to the shit i've been through... but when i'm handling problems... because i've learned to cope and live with things... to move on... you'll be freaking out, afraid... lost... alone... you don't know what i've seen... you have no right to look down on me... the scars on my arms show who i am.. they show what i've been through... they are not there for your "entertianment"... to be subejected to your gossip... your general ignorant nature appals me... you are self-absorbed... and i hate that... i hate how all of you treat me... i hate seeing you look down on me when i walk through the halls... i hate you... and i can't wait until the day i see you go through what i have... because then you'll know how it feels... you'll know how much it hurts... you'll have an inkling of idea of why i've done what i've done...
Last edited by always on Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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always
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Post by always » Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:00 pm

mom... i hate how you treat me... i'm sick of you making me feel like nothing... like i'ma failure and i'll always be nothing... i'm sick of you telling me i'm screwed up... part of why i cut is because of you... the neglect... the screaming... the physical abuse... you blame me for all of your problems... but their not my fault... when i go to college... i'm gone... that's it... i never want to talk to you again... i'm sick of not being listened to and being disregarded... i'm sick of suicidal thoughts bneing brought on by you... i am not screwed up... and even though you have told me to my face that you wish you would have gotten rid of me when you had the chance... that yo uwish someone would kill me... that i'd do myself in... guess what mom... i don't care, you've never been a mother to me... i wish people could really see what you are like under your "untarnished" facade...

dad... i know you tried, and i thank you for that... for introducing me into music... but sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me hurts... i don't like being called names or yelled at...

ryan... i'm sick of you trying to blame things on me... i'm sick of being abused by you... i don't want you to go after me with knives or push me down stairs anymore... you don't ahve power over me! I"m older than you and even though i try tro look out for oyu, i can't when you're constantly after me and trying to hurt me...

emily and nathan... even though we've had some tough times growing up and we'd fight, you guys ahve really been there, whether you realize it or not... espeically em, mom treated you the same way she does me... and to see you leave and be successful is inspiring...

dave... you're a a big fucking douche bag... you hurt me so much and then i tried to patch things up a little and you wouldn't... it's your loss... i thought iw as happy with you, but that was my mistake... with out you i'm way better off... you never cared... and thats more than apparent...
amanda... ^^ that goes to you too you stupid whore...

Shane... never in my life could i ever wish for something more in my life... you're honestly the only reason i haven't ended it all... you understand what i've been through and try to help... i know that my ups and downs get annoyying... that my cutting has hurt you... i know sometimes it seems like i don't care... and that's not your fault... it's mine... i need to come ot terms with my problems... and try to solve them... i appreciate you sticking by me... trying ot help... even though you think it's done nothing and that it doens't matter... it means more to me than anything... i fear every day losing you...losing what we have... you mean the world to me and i never want to let go... i don't want otbe a burden and i apologize for any instant that i have been... i want to thank you shane... for being the best support... friend... and boyfriend... i love you and i would be lost with out you
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sassy koala
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Post by sassy koala » Tue Feb 03, 2004 5:29 pm

i am so fucking alone

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skittles33
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Post by skittles33 » Wed Feb 04, 2004 4:05 am

mom: i hate how you tear me apart with every fucking thing. i will never be good enough for you will i? just another disappointment in your life. i hate how you make everything my fault and you take it out on me. i hate how you talk about other families. how you say if the kid has a problem, they are bad parents. i hate when you talk about our neighbor who si's and blame the parents. i just wish you'd love me instead of regret having me. i hate how you make me feel as though you wish i were dead. i hate how you don't notice how much i'm hurting and how much your words tear me apart. i hate how you have no faith in me...you think you know what i want to do with my life? you don't even know me. you never wanted to know me. i'm tired of you yelling at me. i hate you. i want to leave this house and never speak to you again. i will never forgive you for all the years of emotional and verbal abuse. i will never forget the things you say to me over and over day after day. your words have become my truth. i hate you for making me hate me. i shouldn't be like this...no one knows why i hate myself so much, it's because it's all i've ever known. stop taking your shit out on me, it's not my fault. although you make me believe everything is my fault, take a look at it, you're part of the problem too. i'm sorry for being a fucking imperfect disappointment to you.
if you are a friend and want to contact me, pm me and i'll give you my info

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Post by piglet » Wed Feb 04, 2004 4:47 pm

Staff...
I came in here for help. I gave up my life for help. I was told you would look after me. I was told you would take the weight from me and make the decisions. This isn't happening. I have to fight you now as well as myself. its just too hard. Can't you see me, can't you hear me? I'm crying out for help. I need some help...
"It is joy to be hidden, but disaster not to be found" (Winnicott)

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Post by deadrockstar » Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:30 pm

Jen- Please please stop being so nice....it hurts me when you act like this-youve hurt me today you really have! you will never read this but im sobbing my heart out here!!please stop acting like you know everything stop carting , just please leave me the fuck alone, i dont need friends anymore just fucking leave me.

Adam- stop being up your own arse for once and take notice that i too am in pain, stop being a jackass and care for someone other than yourself.

Catherine- why cant you treat me the way i treat you? id help you with anything, give the owrld for you and you dont fucking know im here most of the time, you said i was one of your best maters start treating me like one then

***
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skittles33
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Post by skittles33 » Wed Feb 04, 2004 10:30 pm

anyone irl:

ed

please help me. just listen. i'm so scared and alone. i can see myself losing more and more control. i don't know what to do anymore. this ed has taken over my life and it hurts. everything hurts. i'm dying inside. destroying my body slowly. and i can't stop. and no one hears me. no one thinks it's serious. b/c i don't look unhealthy. look inside not out, i cant' even digest food anymore. please someone help before it's too late. i'm scared.
if you are a friend and want to contact me, pm me and i'll give you my info

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Post by Dungeon_Lilly » Thu Feb 05, 2004 11:41 pm

J- Ok I screwed up don't you? I'm sorry I never meant to hurt you but stop having a go at me I can't cope with it. I need you I need your support not you giving me a hard time why cant you see that?

K- I wish you'd stop letting me down I suffer not you

LS- I hate you you fucking bitch/slag/fake you don't know what you do to me I hate you I hate you I hate you I know you probaly don't realise I exist but get over yourself get a fucking hobby stop it now noone belives you

LW- stop lieing :evil:

dad- if you know- why don't you care? :(
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Joyce
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Post by Joyce » Fri Feb 06, 2004 9:28 am

B - You are such a fucking hypocrite!! Do you have any idea how many people you turn off to God and religion cuz of your bad attitude and rudeness. You need medication - you are seriously warped... marrying a guy that could be your grandfather! Just ewwww, That is wrong on sooooo many levels and everyone knows it but you!! Oh wait, that's right.... you are never wrong!!! you dumbass!!!

D - you suck and people will find out! You are a truely the definition of a bitch and I do hate you.

J - Just fuck off and leave me alone - don't IM me... don't talk to me - I am not interested in talking to you.. EVER!

V - What did I do wrong?? Why??????

L - your husband has a cute ass. :blush:

G - I lost a lot of respect for you last weekend after you told me what you did.

R - Will you ever get a clue as to why everyone is leaving your church?? Why did you become a pastor when you are not even interested in the people in your church???

A - cutting is NOT "this new thing kids are doing these days." :evil:

S - why won't you talk to me? Are you ok????

J - get off your ASS and do some work for a change! you moron!
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AmiGlampire
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Post by AmiGlampire » Fri Feb 06, 2004 4:15 pm

Dad- You think you have all the answers. That what you know is automatically right and what I believe is fake and laughable. And I
wish you would help me. And stop talking to me like I'm stupid because
i'm not. I understand more than you think I do. And I need your help
although I would never admit it. Because I can't admit it. But if I
ask you to take me somewhere, don't grumble. I just need to get out
of this house sometimes. I have no friends to go out with. There's
only my family. I just need the things that keep me happy. Even if
it's a fake happy. And i'm sorry I lie to you. But you're not like Mom.
You'll never be like Her. She was my Rock. Now she's gone and I have
no one to confide in.

Sis- All my Life i've been tossed away when friends or boys come along.
You shut the door in my Face So many Times and I hate you for it.
Especially now when I need someone around me. But you're not there.
You're too busy in the bedroom in his arms. Well Fuck you for that.
Slut. I wish you'd move out. Then it wouldn't be so up and down. You're
not worth the time and effort. I want nothing to do with you. You bug
me because you just don't care. And I want no part in that. I told you
things i've never told anyone and I wish I could take that back. You
don't deserve to know them because you could care less. Get Lost.
~-~I hope the Rain ruins the Work you Did~-~

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