Things Left Unsaid *LA*

Twitter Mouse · Post by **Twitter Mouse** » Sun Jan 18, 2004 3:50 pm

Dad- Fuck you. I will not come back to live with you, and throw all my hard work down the drain. Thanks to my mom and being away from you I have made a week. With you I'd be cutting everyday. You lie about everything, I'm sick of it. Fuck family therapy and trying to talk things out. There's no talking to you, you don't listen to anyone but yourself. You want to pick me up on tuesday? Well, all that time in your house I wanted a little respect and a little freedom, and I got shit. Which is exactly what you will get from me.

WickedWitchElphie · Post by **WickedWitchElphie** » Sun Jan 18, 2004 3:54 pm

Tomorrow...I'm afraid. I love you. I'm afraid so much. I love you so much and I know you won't hurt me. I'm not afraid of you hurting me. I'm afraid of me hurting me.

Zebraseal · Post by **Zebraseal** » Sun Jan 18, 2004 10:06 pm

Please let me take my time to heal, love. I know I will. I love you.

Scarlett · Post by **Scarlett** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 5:42 am

Sam- I didn't change you dumbass. The way you saw me changed. I'm not just unique now, I have a fucking title. I'm mentally ill. I'm not your debate topic anymore, am I, you fucker. I'm a real person, one who has feelings and hurts and you fucked with them. I'm angry at you for not being the person I expected you to be, the person you told me you were. Fuck you.

Erin- thank you for being there for me. I need you.

roseblum15 · Post by **roseblum15** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 8:02 pm

Kasie - I'm sick of your shit. Why don't you concentrate on taking care of yourself and not worry so much about me. But I guess thats to tough for you, you always have to be the center of attention. I was trying to fix my problems and now they are worse because of you and your big ass mouth. I really don't like you!!!!! You are a bitch!

~Claire~ · Post by **~Claire~** » Tue Jan 20, 2004 9:47 pm

You've gone too far now. You've pulled me apart. Called me every name under the sun. I cry myself to sleep cos of you. I dont know why you all hate me, I've never done anything to you. I know you all take the piss outta me cos Im 'vunerable' and you'll get a reaction outta me. But I've never done anything to you. So leave me alone. If you knew how far it had gone, how bad I felt I know you'd stop because even if you dont like me, you're not that harsh. You think it's a joke. Its not. It was, but now its not.

J - I dont know anymore, what am I supposed to believe? I want to believe you. But so many people are saying it's you who started it. And cos of what you did to R I believe them. You've done stuff like this before. I know you really care about me. I care about you, too. Alot. I've wanted the beggining of secondry. You know that. You wanted me too. I think you still do. You were such a sweetheart to me when I told you. I never thought you'd react like that. I never thought you wouldnt tell anyone, but you didnt. I love you for it. I love you for looking after me for so long. But I doubt it will ever happen with us. That makes me really sad, to think there could never be an us now...

Claire xx

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 10:57 am

M- I am not psychic. I can't know what you want me to do unless you TELL me or SHOW me.
And anyway, when did we agree that I did everything you wanted? You can have the upper hand, you're welcome to it, but I am not going to be able to cope if the upper hand becomes the fucking controlling hand. I need some freedom of choice.
I want to make you happy. I want to do things that you like. I want to be what you want. I want to be someone you love. I am TRYING. I really, really am.
Please, don't get angry when I don't read your mind. Just because you have a thought doesn't mean I share it. You need to tell me if you want something/ like/ dislike something/ need something/ plan something, or I just won't know.
You mean so much to me, it's so easy for you to hurt me. Please don't do it when I don't deserve it.

sassy koala · Post by **sassy koala** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 5:53 pm

J- itwas alot nicer at work when you were here. I miss you in that aspect.

~Claire~ · Post by **~Claire~** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 6:52 pm

J - I only want one thing from you, the truth. I want you so badly, I always have. But I cant tell you that unless you let me know the truth.

Claire xx

GoSsOr24 · Post by **GoSsOr24** » Wed Jan 21, 2004 8:12 pm

For the first time last night, I stood up to you. Maybe if you had asked me why I was being irritable I would have told you and we could have broken some ground. No. You just focused on what I said to you and how it hurt your poor, poor sensitive pride. You told me friends don't talk to friends the way I was talking to you. Well, let me tell you something. Friends don't ignore friends, either. I'm glad your sensitivity to anything I said took precedence. Note the dripping sarcasm. And all I said was that you couldn't do shit to get me out of jury duty. Which is perfectly true. Silly me, I thought maybe you'd be understanding of my feelings, too.

Screw you.

WickedWitchElphie · Post by **WickedWitchElphie** » Fri Jan 23, 2004 8:41 pm

You aren't being the greatest person right now.
I'm starting to see your flaws. Your one-sidedness, your narrow-mindedness, your need to protect me, and not let anyone else protect me. Baby, is that really fair?
I know I'm your baby, and you protect me and shelter me and keep every bad thing that you can away from my life, and I thank you so much for that. But you have to understand that you're not the only person in my life. There are other people, some you know very well, others you don't. You can't tell me who I know and who I don't know because of things like distance. I can be friends with whoever I want, and I know you're just concerned with my safety, but I think you're also concerned with losing me to someone else.
It's not going to happen. You just need to understand that I can't go to you whenever I have a problem. Sometimes because it's a girly problem, and sometimes because you won't fix it. You make things worse sometimes, and I'm not trying to be mean by saying it, but you say things that make me feel bad. I can't tell you everything until you widen your mental view a bit.
You know I adore you. You KNOW I fucking ADORE you, so don't be all, "Oh, great, I'm a bad person," 'cause I can't deal with that. You're a great person. You're just...a bit flawed. I'm not saying that n a bad way, really, I'm just saying I haven't noticed it before and I feel like it's all coming out because of stress. You absolutely CANNOT take out your stresses on me. I don't deserve it and I won't take it. I might not have had many boyfriends, but I've learned from my own and other's experiences that I should NOT have to deal with you bitching me out for no good reason.
And you knew, when you came into this relationship, that I was flawed. You knew I was more flawed than all of the other girls you could've had. You knew I was a "cutter". And you accepted that when you told me you loved me. You accepted everything, my good side, my bad side, my scars, and my flaws. Now can you ACT like you really accepted it all?
I know it hurts you when I cut. I know. I don't do it to hurt you, I do it to hurt myself. And you need to understand that. My scars just show how long I've held out during bad times. Before, you accepted them. I feel like you attitude towards them is changing everyday. You know sometimes I break, and you know I feel shitty afterwards. But sometimes I don't think. Yeah. I'm a bit of an idiot sometimes. Flaw. You should've noticed it before.
Now why you won't just leave me is what I don't get. My family treats you like shit and I wish there was something I could do to get them to stop, but they're all horrible people and you wonder why I call you crying because of them. I can't take them being mean to you because I'm afraid you'll leave me based on their actions. I'm afraid you'll leave me 'cause I'm not good enough for you. I KNOW I'm not good enough for you!!! And I try, baby I really do try, to be the girl you deserve. But you deserve absolute perfection, and you're not getting that from me. You got it from *(with the exception that she was a cold heartless bitch who wanted you for her own sick pleasure) and you could get it from any girl who's not me. I want to be perfect for you. It's not that I don't WANT to be with you, it's that I want to actually DESERVE you. I know I don't. That hurts me.
If you ever find someone you consider worthy then you should leave me because they'd obviously be a better choice than me. Anyone is a better choice than a girl like me.
I love you, though.
No one can ever change that.

serenity · Post by **serenity** » Sat Jan 24, 2004 6:13 am

T-I hate that you make me feel so fucking stupid. Let me do things for me for once. let me learn. let me be free. I DONT CARE if your resume is better than mine....but who got a job first???What me? yeah fuck you i know i got the job so obviously my resume isnt as bad as you believe. I hate that you make me feel so small, so small compared to you. your not perfect im not perfect let me learn for myself. i dont care what you do. I make mistakes. So what, im human.
S-Sorry.
N-Im sorry for being me. I hate feeling like your abaondoning me for jen. i thought we were like best friends. i feel like im losing you and i hate feeling like this. Thank you for everything though.

pink1 · Post by **pink1** » Sat Jan 24, 2004 6:47 pm

Bitch (mother) You are a fucked up bitch, you abused me in everyway, what the fuck is wrong with you, I don't understand ppl like you. I was just a little girl I did nothing wrong but you did what you did anyway. I'm so glad that I don't talk to U anymore I wish really, really bad things on you. I wish you'd fucking die!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!

DI, You hurt me so much with the words you said, I am good enough for your sis, if I wasn't she wouldn't have me. Say your sorry, acknowledge that you were wrong. Oh and stop hiding behind the mask you call make up, you fake cow!!!!!

Dad, I do love you, but you are so disgusting when you are drunk, there is no need to talk to me about your sex life or ask me about mine. Use your fucking head

~Claire~ · Post by **~Claire~** » Sat Jan 24, 2004 9:17 pm

Just tell me what I did to deserve it. Tell me why. Just answer me why.

Claire xx

iguanapunk13 · Post by **iguanapunk13** » Sat Jan 24, 2004 9:30 pm

James: I can deal with you hating me. I can deal with you ignoring me. I CANNOT deal with you being condescending to me. I don't like you anymore. I cut myself. When you see me wander off alone during a track meet, it is NOT the time to come over and try to be cute. Its not going to work and you can stop being such an asshole just because I used to think I wanted to be like you someday. Just give it up. You'll never understand me.

Chelsea: would you fucking stop dissing my sister right in front of me? She's my best friend right now, for christ's sake. Just because i'm not in the mood to tell you off doesn't mean it doesn't make me mad. And when I'm avoiding you in the locker room because my arms are slashed and bloody, DO NOT follow me and pester me about them. Just walk away.

Kevin: I'm sorry you feel like you have to pretend to like me. You shouldn't waste your time. You have so much talent and skill and intelligence, go do something with your life. Don't smile at me. God, don't smile at me. I can only take so much. Are you going to be 16 soon?

Dad: Go. To. Hell. Enough said.

Peter: I don't know why you hate me anymore, but I'm glad. You aren't who you were when we were best friends, and you're exactly the kind of person I hate. I'm glad i'm not wasting my time on a drunk rock-star wannabe like you.

*whew* I feel a lot better.

fairywings · Post by **fairywings** » Sat Jan 24, 2004 9:40 pm

G - im sorry if only i could go back to before i knew you, your world would be so much happer, i lied, spoilt and continue to lie to you. for that IM SORRY
M- Im sorry maybe one day i'll have the strengh to tell you everything, my true feelings
K- Im sorry im a selfish, i know you have problems too
J- thanks so much NOT, you helped make me into the mess i am today

~Claire~ · Post by **~Claire~** » Sun Jan 25, 2004 3:46 pm

Thank you for everything babe, without you I'd never have got here. I dont think you realise how true that is. I love you forever. Thank you for always looking after me.

Claire xx

nirvana · Post by **nirvana** » Sun Jan 25, 2004 6:00 pm

laura - i wrote a letter to you. about how mad i am at you and how you need to treat me like a normal person. i said everything there that you need to know.

divya - i'm sorry i blew up at you last night. you needed to hear it, but i think i should have said it to laura, not you. have fun with laura, i know both of you said it would be better without me there.

ben - i hate everything i did to you. i didn't mean it, you were just always there when i needed to bitch at someone. and i hate everything you did to me. you can not just go around threatening suicide and blaming it on people. i never used to believe it when you said it was my fault when you cut. but you said it enough times that i began blaming myself too. how could i be so damn stupid?

bill - i know friday was just messing around. and i don't know how i feel about it. we didn't do much but still... i don't understand any of it. you're an amazing friend and i'm sorry i bitched at you about your dream. just because i can't have mine, doesn't mean i should stop you from having yours.

gaelen - your constant complaining pisses everyone off more than you'll ever know. some people would kill for your life. be happy with what you have and stop creating problems for yourself. i know you think you're depressed, but at least you can tell your parents about it. and at least they got you a psychiatrist. my parents don't even believe in teenage depression. they obviously havn't seen the scars on my wrists.

kyle - i hate you so much. mess with julia and i will find a way to hurt you. just because you were able to mess with my head does not mean julia deserves any of it. and don't try lying to me again. i know you called me a whore, i have proof.

sonia - next time you get mad at me you better have a ****ing reason. you don't just randomly decide to be mad at people and stop talking to them.

julia - i know you try hard to make everything better, but did you ever think that you should lay off a little? don't let kyle mess with you. you deserve better.

lindsay - i did not do a damn thing with your boyfriend. we were friends, and now i can't talk to him because you have all your little spies out reporting back to you. get over yourself and if you have anything to say to me, you better just say it. and bond with sonia over how much you hate me. you have my permission.

alex - i don't think i'll ever find out what really happened with you. i know you called me a whore, but that's only because i didn't like you, i liked someone else. don't lie to me ever again. i'm glad i made you cry at homecoming. you deserved it.

bobby, etc. - what the hell gives you the right to talk shit about me? last year i never spoke more than five words to you, and next thing i knew, you were telling people what a slut i am.

darren - you know i love you but sometimes when you make those comments... i don't know what you think about me. don't treat me like a whore, just because everyone else does.

fhs - i hate that whole damn school. not the school, all the people in it. i want out and if i'm lucky enough i'll be gone next year so you can talk about me behind my back and i won't know about it.

mom/dad - stop fighting. mom when you left you should have taken me with you and we should never have come back. dad sometimes you're a normal dad. other times... i don't know. and you know we're both too afraid of you to do anything. both of you just stop everything and get a divorce or act normal. nothing in between.

Twist · Post by **Twist** » Sun Jan 25, 2004 11:52 pm

Don't go
Don't leave me

I'll stand by you through everything. I hope that you appreciate me even though you don't show it.

WickedWitchElphie · Post by **WickedWitchElphie** » Mon Jan 26, 2004 2:27 am

I.
AM.
A.
SELF-INJURER.

GET.
OVER.
IT.
OR.
LEAVE.

bus

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