Things Left Unsaid *LA*

tips on how to cope: dealing with your feelings, dealing with the consequences of self-harm in your life. share your ideas and maybe pick up some new skills, too. you don't have to want to stop to learn something new here.

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guest11
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Post by guest11 » Fri Dec 19, 2003 11:08 pm

Adam- You fucking bastard! YOU'RE A TWAT! YOU DON'T SAY THAT! YOU'LL HAVE IT THROWN IN YOUR FUCKING FACE ONE DAY! And I'll laugh at you when it is. I'll laugh, and I congratulate her when she tells you that you're FUCKING WRONG, LIKE SO MANY FUCKING TIMES BEFORE! You bastard....

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WickedWitchElphie
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Post by WickedWitchElphie » Sat Dec 20, 2003 3:01 pm

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I really am, I should've warned you about how I was feeling and I didn't so when it happened I freaked out just like I knew I would but forgot to warn you...and I know I upset you. I know I did.
I'm not scared of you, I was scared of what was happening. For a minute, I didn't have control over myself and that thought terrifies me more than anything. Especially with reading all that stuff yesterday...I thought something about myself and then realized that isn't who I am.
I know I scared you when I was like that. I only warned you here and I'm sorry about it. I should've warned you when you came over but I didn't, because I really didn't think anything would happen, and I guess I was wrong.
I'm okay with it now, I just got this horrible feeling of no control and it really REALLY scared me. But I trust you more than anything. I kinda wanna see you today just so we can discuss this face-to-face and maybe give it another shot :-? ...I don't know. I don't know what I want anymore.
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I'm through accepting limits
'Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change
But 'til I try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost...

How can someone like you love someone like me?
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Post by guest11 » Sun Dec 21, 2003 6:44 pm

Adam- Bastard. What are you playing at? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? YOU SHOULDN'T MESS WITH HER LIKE THAT! YOU NEED MURDERING! She deserves so much better than you, and I've always thought that, even before she told me about you. After she told me about you, well, let's just say that I hated you. I don't know why she loves you as much as she does. You MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT deserve her. She deserves someone fantastic, wonderful and amazing, and that certainly isn't you. You've fucked me about, you've done a lot to me, and hurt me a lot, but HURTING HER IS OUT OF LINE! SHE LOVES YOU! WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING DOING TALKING TO HER LIKE THAT!?!?!?!? IT'S NOT A FLIPPING CRIME TO HUG SOMEONE YOU KNOW! She is so loyal to you, and you throw it in her face. Bastard. Get yourself sorted out. She DOESN'T DESERVE THE TORTURE THAT IS BEING YOUR GIRLFRIEND! I hope you die.

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Post by Sparrow » Sun Dec 21, 2003 6:49 pm

Okay you Big *ucking A-hole! You must get some kind of 'high' being such a mean controlling bully all of the time. You're a damn drunk and pothead and I don't believe or want to hear your 'sorrys' anymore because they mean nothing because you will do it again and again!!!! If you had any idea how *ucked up I am because of you!!! You don't listen because you don't care. If you hurt me again I 'will' tell this time. You make me want to die to get away from you and your crap!!!

And the 'other' *ucking A-hole whose done so much damage to the family. I hope you never move back here,,,I don't even like thinking of you because you make me SO mad I could scream!!!!! Another *ucking drunk who cares only about himself in the long-run!

And that other miserable disgusting bastard who stole all of my things,,,who screwed around with our heads,,I hope you are dead somewhere!!

And then you,,,who I love and yet still hold anger for because I can't get it out of my head yet. I wish you would stop drinking,,,you're destroying yourself and it hurts my heart to see you like this.
~Knock on the Sky and Listen to the Sound~

"There are some remedies worse than the disease " Syrus

Inwë Lessien

Post by Inwë Lessien » Mon Dec 22, 2003 10:18 pm

A ~ Can't I fix this?? Will this ever get better? Or are you going to hate me forever.....? Why're you so disgusted by this??

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Post by turning_page » Tue Dec 23, 2003 1:57 am

steff- i want to be your friend. i confided in you and you left me. i want things to be the way they were

marKus- you're selfish and i hate you.

to almost everyone else- i can't always be happy so face the reality that this may just be the new me.
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Post by theatregeek » Tue Dec 23, 2003 11:59 pm

Cdad: fuck you,....you think u have me beaten...u think ur winning...bullshit u are... i could care less about u and what u think. i hope u can quickly think of more reasons to trash me...cuz i think u have used them all. You are a selfish dickface. U think u have the world in ur hands...guess what...YA DONT...u have a minimal amount of friends....and u know it...u are just trying to hide your own insecurites so u take it out on me...i have waaay more CARING friends than you will ever have...what kinda gets me mad is knowing u will never read this....damn...i just wanna scream all this in ur face...i would do it at school but i have SOME decency not to trash u infront of ppl....hmmm does that sound like someone u know??? huh huh? u think u know and u have no idea....so fuck off....and leave ur thoughts where they belong...IN YOUR FUCKING HEAD.
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Convince Me That I've Been Sick Forever
And All Of This
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Post by ComfortablyNumb » Wed Dec 24, 2003 1:00 am

Fuck you. You who sits there and expects me to make apologizes for myself, guess what...It isn't going to happen. I'm done trying to fucking please you in everything I do. I'm done with you.
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Post by Sparrow » Wed Dec 24, 2003 7:02 pm

Thank you so very much for getting drunk again and spending more time with your bar buddies instead of us. Thank you so very much for yelling at me again and blaming me for everything wrong in this world. Thank you so much for making Christmas Eve so much fun *sigh* :cry:
~Knock on the Sky and Listen to the Sound~

"There are some remedies worse than the disease " Syrus

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Post by surfgurl » Sun Dec 28, 2003 9:29 pm

I feel lonely and bored. I'm sorry to say but I'd like attention and some time with. I know that's not what you want to do, cos as you say you've been running around after everyone today.
You want to hang out with her cos she needs attention and looking after. Well so do I.
Who is your girlfriend? Yes, it's me. Get your priorities right idiot.
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Post by kwisten » Mon Dec 29, 2003 4:37 am

JUST BECAUSE IVE STOPPED CUTTING DOESNT MEAN THAT IM READY FOR ALL OF THIS SHIT...YEAH I MAY BE LEARNING TO HAVE A LIFE BUT I NEED TO DO IT SLOWLY OTHERWISE IC ANT DO IT.

I KNOW I WAS A SUCKY FRIEND AND AM AWARE THAT APPARENTLY ALL I DO IS HURT THE PEOPLE AROUND ME I TELL MYSELF THAT NINE MILLION TIMES A DAY I DONT NEED YOU SAYING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN I SAID I WAS SORRY AND I COULDNT MEAN IT MORE SO EITHER FORGIVE ME OR DONT ITS FINE JUST STOP BRINGING IT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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Post by FreedumMyWay » Mon Dec 29, 2003 6:39 pm

Chris: You act like this thing is such a big deal, you have cared more than anyone else about it. But yet you act like its nothing and that everyone does it. STOP GIVING ME THESE MIXED SIGNALS!!!!!! It really pisses me off when you do this because I dont know what to think. I dont know if I have hurt you and you are just trying to hide it,or if you really dont care all that much and your just courious!

Shaundra: Oh WOW i feel so freakin bad for you! You have ALL the guys after you! thats so awful! And if you arent close to perfect... then what the hell are the rest of us???? Demonds or somethign!

Teri: dude you freakin hurt me you.... ugh!!!! You dont joke about that stuff okay! Its not right! You cant just joke about something and not take it seriously ever! I WAS SERIOUS! I COULD HAVE DIED AND YOU WERE JOKING!

Cindy: Thanx for being there. You saved my life. And thanx for trusting me. It made things seem a little better. And dont worry so much about things. Worry more about people.

Netty: You dont know anything about anything! Im sorry but you dont. Just because you have family.... if you havent yourself.... ugh! JUST SHUT UP!

DaNean: JUST SHUT UP! YOU KNOW NOTHING! JUST GO AWAY AND SHUT UP! YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS BECAUSE YOU WERE MEAN TO THEM ALL SO DONT COME CRYIN TO ME!

Erin: Together we can overcome anything!

Brett: SHUT THE HELL UP! You say you are sick of depressing people, yet you have the perfect life and I was there for you when you were crying over a girl! Yet know when I need you.... YOU WONT SPEAK TO ME!

Tom: YOU ARE STUPID! That girl is going to use you! I wont be there to help you anymore! Not when you dont listen! You dont know anything either... wow a lot of people are clueless!

Tyler: Thanx for not changing. But be more understanding!

Now thats off my chest.... I feel better. Thanx! :wink:
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Post by Twinky » Tue Dec 30, 2003 11:31 pm

Ed- What on earth have I ever done to you? GROW UP!! We're not in school this isn't bullying it's plain ANNOYING!!! Why do you think you're the only person to get NO VOTES at college! No one likes you coz you bitch about everyone! You sick freak making fun of my walking stick DOESN'T make you look big and doesn't make me feel small!!

Mike- You're scaring me. I love what you've done for me, but I don't like how our relationship now revolves around this- that is what I was scared of before I told you!

Brady Bunch- I love you all but please stop judging eachother so much! Wy do you think none of you can *talk* to eachother? Each one of you can *talk* to me... but I can't *talk* to you! This isn't me being proud... this is upsetting me that I can't talk to you and you can't talk to eachother. I'll always be there for you but your burdens can be too much for just little ol' me.

Steve- I forgive you, but still will never speak to you again- I NEVER want to be hurt like you hurt me again. You really really need help! Stop working with children- you're sick
Last edited by Twinky on Mon Jul 26, 2004 1:00 am, edited 2 times in total.
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I should just fly away-Twinky's place

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Post by DarkShadow » Wed Dec 31, 2003 1:26 am

D- Thanks for ruining the whole Christmas. Really was great that you got your drink and foul mouth in front of everyone in the end. What planet are you on? Why are you such a horror of a person? Do you like to watch me suffer? Are you that determined to totally ruin the rest of this wrecked freak I am? Thanks a bunch - just what I wanted for Christmas. Why don't you piss off and stop making everyone around you miserable.

S- I can't sleep most nights because of you. Just go away.

T- STOP bringing it up... I don't want to.
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Twinky
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Post by Twinky » Thu Jan 01, 2004 4:08 am

Ok another one

SL -Why did you believe him and not me? I know you regret everything and you're sorry but you still used ME as a scape goat didn't you? You wish you could turn back time? You NEVER BELIEVED ME until I told you and STEVE couldn't back himself up! Thank GOD Judy was there with me... if she wasn't you'd have never found out the truth and I would seriously be in therapy.
You failed me
You really failed me!
I was 18 and now... only 2 years later do I realise how niave I was!! He is a married mad who needs help... I NEVER liked him that way NEVER NEVER NEVER -ick! I just thought he was a nice friend... I didn't know he liked me! I didn't know that he started treating me badly because of that!
Why did you believe his lies and only ask me MY side of things when you'd already decided to fire me!!?!? I KNOW you're sorry, I know that you wish you coull change things and that I told you before... but I didn't -it's supposed to be your job to watch what's going on and to try to be fair!!
WHY DIDN'T YOU GET MATT INVOLVED!? He doesn't even know WHY I LEFT!!! He doesn't know what happened and he was just as much my boss as STEVE was
Why did you keep Steve on when his "professional misconduct" was SO MUCH worse than mine? What I did was an accident which you even believed at the time... what he did was pure evil "NAILED HER" were his exact words- talking about me!
I was 18 years old and so passionate about that joib. I loved the kids- THEY LOVED ME!
You failed them
You failed me
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xxx

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I should just fly away-Twinky's place

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Post by serenity » Sat Jan 03, 2004 6:21 am

Sean-Why? thats all i can ask.
Stacey-I thought we were best friends!? You lied to me. Yu hurt me more than anything in soo long, you made me do that to myself. I'm not placing blame im just telling the truth. I hate you for being that person i saw today. I still love you to death you will alwyas be my best friend but i odnt think i can forgive you for this...not now at least. You fucking hurt me.
Jenn-YOUR A FUCKING FAKE!!Get over yourself. Seriously, why fake doing that shit! everybody talks about it behind your back, i hate being there and listening to them. Im sorry im guilty because i never stop people when they talk about how fake you act. Just i wish you knew, we all know.
James-Your a huge fucking prick and before i forgive you ill kill myself. You told me you didnt want a girlfriend at the moment, and it didnt bother me. You said you were fine just fucking around if i was, so we did. And i fell for you-that was my ultimate mistake. I hate you so much for making me fal lfor you. Then you said you had fallen for me and you left. I havn't heard from you in two fucking weeks now your going out with Jen. FUCK YOU!!!!
Mom-You dont understand, you never will. You try but you can't. I need to get away from here. Not because i dont love you or dad but because im not safe here. I need to be somewhere where i am safe. I cant tlak to you because im scared and your my mom and i cant. I just wish you would stop fucking treating me like a fucking 3 year old. I'm 16 fucking years old leave me alone for once!
Dad-Everytime you say "Your getting fat" everytime you ask "whats that" everytime you poke me in the side, everytime you chase me up the stairs, everytime you touch me makes me hate you so much more. I hate that you always have to be right, i hate that you yell at me because your high. I hate that you say our family is falling apart and you feel alone. Guess what father dearest I DO TOO!!!!!! I hate that you blame our family problems on me, im sorry im not your perfect daughter. I'm sorry i only got A's in 3 out of 4 of my subjects. I guess thats no good enough, will it ever be??
T-FUCK YOU!!!!!!
Kaylenna-I thought i could trust you, I told you what i do to myself.How i feel about everything thats happend and you told everyone! I cant forgive you...not yet.
Mr.C-Thank you for believing in me. For tkaing me in to your home/family when i was out on the streets. For getting me started. For being the teacher i turn to when i am messed up. Thank you for being the person to support me. Your a huge role in my life. I dont think i would be here without you.
Everyone else who knows me IRL-I'm sorry that I've fucked around, and have this huge label on my soul. But really, when im not around who will notice???Noone b/c none of you turn your head. Fuck you all for fucking degrading me and fucking backstabbing me. I cant stand being around you people for more than two seconds-why do you think i run all the time. One day i hope you all open your fucking eyes and realize what those words do to a person. One day i hope your in my fucking shoes and i will be able to squash you like a little fucking bug-one day when i stand up for myself you all wont know what hit you.

-breaths- needed to get that out.
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Post by theatregeek » Sun Jan 04, 2004 4:59 am

d--->I LOVE YOU you know i do...i know u love her...i know she is pretty, but please give me a chance! i will try so hard to make u happy....i love you so much it scares me....

j---> i know ur gonna read this but w.e....hunni he has u whipped.....u need to make up your own mind instead of doing what he says....u cant turn against friends just becuz they do not like ur bf....i think its real shitty to do that...what happened to chicks before dicks?

k--->hahahahaha hunni! you are great! i love you so much! 1\02\04 was our party! to very large dicks...hehehe i love sittin near u in spanish....so many fun times.....and i think a pineapple in the ass would hurt!
<3>Heidi<---<3
-------------------------------------------------------
Lie To me
Convince Me That I've Been Sick Forever
And All Of This
Will Make Sense When I Get Better
-------------------------------------------------------
http://buslist.org/phpBB/viewtopic.php? ... t=#2889033 (my poem gallery)


*Hopeless*

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sassy koala
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Post by sassy koala » Tue Jan 06, 2004 10:41 pm

*lang*






dude-seriously, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD YOU CRAZY NO GOOD BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CHICKEN FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE
YOU USER, WOMANIZER, FUKING PIG

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vintervila
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Post by vintervila » Tue Jan 06, 2004 11:15 pm

there's too much to say... i don't know where to start. too many people i've hurt. myself included.

---

this is really a helpful thing. although i can't clear my thoughts enough to write anything down right now, this thread really made me think. so ok, i have one thing to say:

to the one who started this thread: thank you.
splintered in her head

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Twist
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Post by Twist » Wed Jan 07, 2004 4:25 am

I just wish you would talk to me. You are the most important person in my world. I know you don't want to be but I can't help the way I feel about you. You have the power beyond anyone else to make me happy or make me miserable - do you know that? Do you know how I feel about you? I care about you heaps, in a kind of brother sister way if that doesn't sound too daft. I would do pretty much aything for you. I just wish I could talk to you about how I feel and about myself. And I wish you would talk to me about yourself. Sometimes I feel really close to you but sometimes you seem so distant.

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